


Fever Dream

by Half_conscious_writing



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Background Relationships, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Mentions of Anxiety, Slow Burn, USWNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-07-25 01:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 65,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20023966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_conscious_writing/pseuds/Half_conscious_writing
Summary: How one moment on the field causes Emily's life to spiral and how Kelley helps her find her way back.





	1. Five minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily flirts.

It was the 90th minute. The fourth official called for five minutes of stoppage time. Emily rolled her eyes when she saw the number for added time. The game had definitely been physical from both sides, but those five minutes where the only things separating the Thorns from their third NWSL Championship win.

Portland was up 2-1 against the North Carolina Courage. From the very second the first whistle blew, the stadium had erupted in cheers and boos from fans of both teams, alongside any general supporters. Emily kept glancing at the clock, watching the seconds tick by. Portland was still moving the ball well, but the frustration from Courage was showing. It also didn’t help that the crowd was heavy with Courage fans as the final ended up being hosted in North Carolina at their home stadium.

Ever since Lindsey had slotted in that second goal in the 80th minute, Courage had been pressing the Thorn’s defense as if their life depended on it. Menges had held up really well against the likes of Williams and McDonald. Sonnett even had to give herself credit for the fair share of defensive work she’d put in as well. She had taken up a leadership role since coming back form the World Cup. Emily had slid into that role slowly, but she wanted to show Mark why she deserved to be the Thorn’s best defender. And with her team five minutes away from beating arguably one of the best teams in the league, she hoped she had done just that.

The Thorn’s had dominated the playoff tournament, as well as, the entirety of their 2019 season, especially when the internationals had returned form the World Cup. They had just beaten Seattle Reign four days prior but had come to the Courage’s home stadium with nothing but determination fueling their drive for that third star above their crest.

_Four minutes._

Thorns had the ball again. They were moving up the field, still pressing even though they were up a goal. Emily knew that last-minute goals were a common occurrence. They had to keep going until that final whistle blew. Emily could almost taste the champagne that would be aggressively sprayed once they’d won.

Tobin was able to dribble up the side of the pitch and deliver a cross. Emily held her breath as it landed at Sinclair’s feet. The Canadian took the shot but Labbé was able to get her fingertips on the ball to tip it over the crossbar.

_Three minutes._

Tobin began to set up the corner kick. Emily readied herself at the outside of the eighteen, in case any clearance slipped out. Usually, she’d be in the eighteen, ready to get anything on the cross, but with the score this close, she didn’t want to risk leaving Menges to defend for herself. Emily caught the eyes of Lindsey. She wiggled a thumbs up at her best friend. Lindsey chuckled to herself as she mimicked the thumbs up. Then the ball left Tobin’s foot.

Dahlkemper cleared the ball past Emily. It landed at the feet of Menges, who settled it with ease. Sonnett hung back, waiting for her fellow center back to play the ball back in, but when the ball left Menges, it had mistakenly gone directly towards a sprinting Courage player, Zerboni. And just like that, they had a breakaway.

Emily went into a full sprint. After 90 minutes of play, her lungs were burning, but she was willing to do anything to stop Zerboni from scoring. They passed the midway line and Sonnett was starting to nick at Zerboni’s heels. Suddenly they were side by side, with Sonnett slowly getting ahead. Emily was in the right area to slide, so without really thinking, she did.

Everything happened so fast.

Emily was able to get a foot on the ball, safely clearing it out. But, Zerboni didn’t stop running and with her follow-through carrying her weight, she drove a knee into Sonnett’s temple before finally tripping over the defender and hitting the ground herself.

Everything went black. Then Sonnett realized she was squeezing her eyes shut. She was face down on the turf, her arms curled over her head trying to stifle the waves of pain that washed over her.

She could hear the roar of the stadium, but the noise sounded distant. Almost like the fans were underwater. She thought she heard a whistle. Then she felt hands on her back. Then there was yelling.

“What the hell McCall?” Lindsey. Emily could recognize her best friend’s voice from miles away.

“She tackled me!” Emily assumed that was Zerboni. She groaned and slowly rolled onto her back, trying to blink back the lights of the stadium that seemed to be a little more blinding than she remembered. Emily was pleasantly surprised to see Tobin crouching down at her side with a hand on her shoulder. Raso was over her too, gently brushing away the turf that had stuck to her forehead.

“It was a clean tackle. You kept running!” Lindsey was still yelling. Tobin helped Sonnett into a sitting position. She squeezed her eyes shut again and then opened them.

“Sonny, don’t move,” Tobin said. Sinclair was by her fellow captain’s side motioning for the med team. They were already several strides onto the pitch. Once they reached Sonnett, Tobin and the others took a few steps back, giving their injured teammate space.

“Like hell it was a clean tackle! She clipped my ankle and I tripped over her. My knee caught her. Not my fault. If anything she should be carded. It was an obvious breakaway.” Sonnett tried to get a good view of the small crowd that had gathered around Zerboni and Horan, but the trainer tapped her gently on the cheek to get her attention. The arguing continued behind her.

“Oh please. Don’t give yourself too much credit. She got all ball.” Sonnett couldn’t help but smile at Tobin’s remark.

She tried to focus on the trainer, not whatever chaos was unfolding behind her. From what Sonnett could hear, they had moved to arguing with the ref now. “You’re surprisingly calm for someone that just got a solid knee to the face.” The trainer joked. Sonnett smiled. The trainer was pretty.

“Did it look bad?” She asked, suddenly self-conscious about how she looked on national television with a possible concussion.

“The collective gasp from the stadium said it all.” Sonnett rolled her eyes.

“Awesome.” She groaned.

The trainer chuckled. “I’m only messing with you. To be fair, you’re taking this like a champ. You may have just saved your team from some overtime.” Sonnett’s smile returned to her face.

“Well, let’s get this concussion test over with. We have a championship to win.” The trainer’s smile softened. Emily knew what she was thinking. Knees to the head usually lead to concussions. But, for some reason, she felt fine. The headache had subsided and the lights weren’t that bright anymore. She felt good.

“I’ll make it quick.” The trainer offered. Still, she went through the whole test methodically. She asks Emily to follow her finger with her eyes as she dragged it across her vision. Then she asked Sonnett a few questions, making sure she was aware of where she was.

“Can you tell me your full name?” The trainer asked.

“Only if you give me your number,” Sonnett asked jokingly. They both laughed, but Sonnett cut it short, answering the question. “Emily Ann Sonnett. Soccer extraordinaire.”

“That sounds about right to me.” The trainer confirmed. She started to have Emily follow her finger again.

Sonnett was still cracking jokes as they finished up the test. “Thank you for confirming my excellence. It’s a major ego booster.” The trainer dropped her hand, finished with the test.

“Well consider yourself beyond excellent because I don’t see any signs of a concussion. You don’t feel dizzy, pain, anything like that.” Sonnett shook her head, letting the giddy feeling rise in her chest. She was going to finish this game. “Alright then, you’re cleared.” The trainer helped Sonnett to her feet.

“Weren’t expecting that were you.” Sonnett grinned at the trainer. She could hear the Thorn’s fans cheer at the sight of her standing.

She chuckled, gently leading Sonnett off the pitch for a moment. “Definitely not. But I have to admit I’m impressed.”

“Impressed by my thick skull or my incredible jokes.” Emily said. They were off the pitch now. She could finally get a good look at her teammates. Some had dissipated back to their positions. Lindsey and Tobin were still arguing with the ref. Sonnett assumed Zerboni didn’t get a card. It would just be a normal foul against the Courage.

“I’d say I’m impressed by both. Think you can finish this game without getting a concussion?” The trainer asked.

The ref motioned for Sonnett to return to the pitch. Before heading back to her position, Emily turned to the trainer. “Oh for you? Anything.” The trainer rolled her eyes. She had known Sonnett for a while. She was used to her playful jokes that she had mistakenly taken as flirting when they had first met. By now, she knew that joking and Emily Sonnett are a package deal.

To Emily’s dismay, the ref had added on an additional two minutes for her brief injury. Once Emily had returned to the pitch, Lindsey and Tobin finally backed down from the ref, accepting the call.

Sonnett positioned herself to take it, making a point to ignore Zerboni’s stares that were far from friendly. Instead, she focused on her teammates. Some of them were still giving her worried glances. “I’m good. Let’s finish the game.” She said firmly. They all nodded, repositioning themselves. Emily lined herself up and took the free-kick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, my first fic. I've literally had this idea forever and then spent a good week writing it out. Some chapters are long, some are short, and most of it is terrible writing. I hope you all like it and stick around to see how it all turns out. Please give your thoughts below and I promise Kelley will actually appear in the next chapter. P.S. This is post World Cup and theres a lot of questions that will probably be answered in later chapters.  
> Still down to hear your thoughts!  
> xx


	2. I need to know if you're okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley hosts a watch-party.

Kelley practically jumped up from the couch. “Oh my God. That has to be a card. She practically ran through Sonny.” Christen said. She had only sat up straighter, but her beer was clutched firmly in her hand. Kelley, the one usually down for any beverage related to beer, had barely drunk the entire game.

Christen and a few of their Utah Royals teammates had come over to Kelley’s apartment to watch the NWSL final on TV. When Kelley had invited them, most were just hoping to see Courage lose as they’d been the ones to knock the Royals out of their playoff run. Kelley knew that Christen would have watched it anyway, supporting Tobin. Amy was there too, cheering with Christen whenever Tobin did anything remotely good, which to her credit was very often. Broon focused more on the defense of the Thorns, making a few comments about their stellar performance thus far. But Kelley had sat there quietly, watching the match unfold, making casual conversation with her teammates, joining in on the cheers, pointing out the referee mistakes, etcetera.

And then the foul happened. Everyone held their breath when Zerboni got the breakaway. Kelley hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath as she saw Sonnett go into a full sprint to try and catch up to Zerboni. She also didn’t realize that she was whispering, “Come on Emily. Come on.” And before she knew it, Kelley was on her feet.

Gasps spread out across her teammates. “Holy shit.” “That look like it hurt.” “Oh God, they’re fighting now.” Finally aware that she had abruptly stood up after watching Emily crumple to the ground, Kelley took her seat next to Christen.

Kelley winced as the broadcast replayed the tackle at a closer angle. Everyone groaned at that contact. Kelley clenched her fists, waiting for Sonnett to get up. Immediately after the tackle, she looked unconscious with her head buried in her hands, face down in the turf. Zerboni was already getting to her feet, shaking out her leg, while Sonnett had lain motionless.

Kelley relaxed only slightly when Emily rolled over. She relaxed even more when she sat up. Then, Christen interrupted Kelley’s focus. “I always get nervous when Tobin argues with the ref. I tell her not to do it, but she always does.” She mumbled. Kelley let out a nervous laugh, her eyes still fixed on Sonnett at the corner of the TV screen.

“Tobin’s good at talking with the refs though. She’s usually calm and even when she gets angry she still makes good arguments.” Kelley pointed out.

Christen pondered the thought. “I suppose so. Do you think Sonny’s gonna be okay? I’m surprised she’s even sitting up right now.” Kelley sighed.

“It has to be a concussion. There’s no way it isn’t. She’s gonna miss national team camp next week too.” Kelley pointed out. Christen frowned.

“Damn. I really hope she’s okay. That was really horrible from Zerboni.” Christen continued.

Kelley just nodded in agreement. When Kelley had invited her teammates to her apartment, she knew most of them were there to watch the Courage lose but also because she hadn't wanted to be alone. She, personally, wanted Courage to lose because of their last matchup with them, but she had also wanted to watch the Thorns play. She had told herself that it was because she wanted to see her friends do well, but that wasn’t completely true because she had friends on both teams. Kelley knew deep down, she had wanted to see Sonnett lift that trophy.

It had been over a month since her girlfriend had broken up with her. It had happened all so fast that Kelley still had a hard time figuring out what had gone wrong. They’d gone from kissing each other at the World Cup final, to attending the ESPYs together, to getting mobbed by fans afterwards, to seeing each other on the first victory tour match, to being overwhelmed by all the new eyes on them, to arguing about never seeing each other, to not talking for two weeks, to Kelley continuing the victory tour, to waking up one morning to a text that read ‘ _we need to talk’_.

And just like that, Kelley was on the phone with Alex, crying, telling her that it was over, that she had ended it and Kelley couldn't do anything to convince her otherwise. In some way, Kelley still felt somewhat responsible. When she had kissed her then-girlfriend at the final, she had done it because she was in love and she wanted to celebrate with the one person that made her the happiest in the world, who had made her the happiest for the better part of two years. Kelley told herself that she should have expected the onslaught of publicity. She should have been prepared. After the World Cup, Kelley had jumped back into club rather quickly, hardly taking time to spend time with her girlfriend. The media was a headache and it didn’t help that her need to keep herself busy put a strain on their relationship.

Things just weren’t the same after the final and the months that happened after it. So when Kelley had gotten that text, in some ways she expected it. She was the one that pushed her away. She’d been the one to ignore her for two weeks. She had expected it. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.

That day, she had missed practice, calling in to say she was sick. Instead, she had stayed in her apartment, curled up in bed, only letting in Christen, who made a point to listen to her and let her cry and rant about everything that went wrong. Christen tried to help Kelley make sense of it all, but she knew how much this breakup had hurt Kelley and a few words weren’t going to change how she felt. Still, she tried her best.

“People grow Kell. Whether it benefits us or not, it isn’t up to us. Our job takes so much time away from the people we love and it takes a lot out of us. It’s also really hard for others to understand that sacrifice. You’re both so different from the people you were a few months ago. You’re different than the people when you first met. You’re going to have to let the old idea of her go. When you guys first met, everything was new and exciting and nothing seemed to effect you two. But, people grow and sometimes that means they grow apart. I think we can agree you guys were good together, but sometimes you have to realize that being apart is the right decision because you two are not the same people from when you first met. And that’s okay because deep down you’re still you. And she will always be there if you choose to find her again.”

Kelley had tried to find her again. And that’s when she realized that things weren’t the same. They would forever be different. 

In the weeks after the breakup, the USWNT was still in the midst of their victory tour. Everyone could tell that something was off with Kelley when she had shown up to camp a week after the breakup. Only Christen and Alex knew, but the others could tell that it was something she didn’t want to talk about. She was miserable. And that’s when Sonnett had made things a little brighter.

Everyone else had kept their distance, checking in here or there, but never making a point to really see what was wrong. But at that camp, Sonnett ended up rooming with Kelley and the minute they set their bags down, Sonnett started talking. “ Something’s wrong. You don't need to give me every detail, but I need to know if you’re okay.” Then, without really meaning to, Kelley spilled everything to Sonnett. And by the time she finished, she had tears in her eyes, but Emily was already by her side, wrapping her a hug while letting Kelley cry into her shoulder.

They sat in their hotel room talking for hours and hours. Sonnett listened carefully as Kelley talked through the ups and downs of her last relationship. And as the conversation carried on, Kelley realized more and more just how caring Sonnett really is. Sure they’d been friends ever since their first camp together. But something was different all these years later. Kelley realized that Emily had always been there for her. She’d always been the one to call her after big games or run straight to her after they won international tournaments. She was her dance buddy, roomie on more than one occasion, and above all, she understood Kelley better than most.

“And that’s it. It’s over. I think I’ll still try and be friends with her, but I don’t think we could ever date each other again.” Kelley concluded.

Emily sat across from her with her legs curled up to her chin. She had barely said a word as Kelley had talked, only interjecting when Kelley needed a breather. “I’m really sorry Kell. I know how much she meant to you. But I think its good to point out that you’re already moving on. Maybe you just need a distraction from it all. From the looks of it, this is all you’ve been thinking about for the last few weeks. That can really take a toll on someone, but I think you’re finally in the right headspace to let yourself breath for a little.” Kelley let a smile slip.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. We do have today off.” Kelley hadn’t intentionally pushed Sonnett to take her out. They were just friends after all. Plus, even though Kelley would consider them incredibly close, she had never given in to the idea of starting something more than just a friendship. Kelley even admitted that she had never known Sonnett to have been in a relationship. She even asked Moe one time if Sonnett had dated throughout college. Nothing. In some ways, that edge of mystery was kind of attractive. But Kelley had always pushed the idea that they were just friends. Kelley wasn’t even sure if Sonnett was gay.

Emily jumped up from the bed. “Well, Miss Kelley. It is promptly five in the afternoon, which means happy hour is upon us. If Dawn finds out, just put the blame on me. I’ll come up with something.” Emily made the grand gesture of offering Kelley a hand up from the opposite bed. Kelley laughed, wiping away any remaining tears before taking her friend’s hand.

That night Sonnett had taken Kelley through a slew of bars, making sure they limited themselves to only one drink per place. Dawn’s no drinking rule during camp was one of the strictest rules and they weren’t about to be caught breaking it when they returned to the hotel. They had danced, laughed, and for the first time in a really long time, Kelley was happy.

And ever since that night, every interaction Kelley had with Emily felt like home. It was comfortable and exciting all at once. But the likelihood of a relationship seemed close to impossible. Even after spending more time together, Kelley still hadn’t cracked Sonnett’s sexuality. And every interaction they’d had could have just been brushed off as friendly. But every time Kelley looked at Sonnett she knew the feelings were there. She didn't know how long they'd been there, but with the mess of her past relationship slowly fading behind her, they'd suddenly become quite obvious. The only issue was that she didn’t know if those same feelings were felt on the other end.

“Oh good, Sonnett seems okay. Wow, I would have definitely bet money on a concussion. I’m surprised she’s even cracking jokes right now.” Christen pointed out. Knocked out of her train of thought, Kelley tried to swallow back the bubble of jealousy that rose as she saw the way Emily was interacting with the Thorn’s trainer.

“That’s Sonny for you.” Kelley let out a laugh, trying to breath normally now that she knew Emily was okay. As the game rolled to an end, relief washed over Kelley as the final whistle blew.

Christen cheered, shaking Kelley with excitement. “They did it! I’m going to have to set a reminder to Face Time Tobin later. They really did play their hearts out.” Finally letting herself relax, Kelley melted into the light celebration for her international teammates and friends. She couldn’t help but smile every time the camera panned to Sonnett. She looked really really happy. She had that goofy grin she got whenever something really exciting happened, and Kelley was relieved that even with that harsh tackle earlier she seemed to be in the clear.

“Yeah, they played great. They deserved it for sure.” And Kelley meant it. As she watched the Thorn’s players dawn their new championship t-shirts and lift the trophy, she had to admit that she was genuinely elated for them. “Let’s hope they bring that same energy to camp next week.” Kelley joked. Christen chuckled, nodding in agreement.

“When do they not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of long? But I'm so overwhelmed by all of your immediate responses and love on this work with only one chapter in. I promise to try and update consistently!  
> The next chapter is gonna be on the shorter side, but hopefully you guys can start to see the beginning of the story and what its gonna look like.  
> Keep in mind that I love Kelley and her current gf and like never want her to be anything but happy lol. This is just for the sake of this work and the plot i'm going for, so don't take it as personal opinion!  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoy and can't wait to work on the next chapter for you all. Keep the comments rolling! I love talking with you all.


	3. Loosen up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett drinks. Kelley sends a text.

“We are the champions!” The Thorns were gathered in a sloppy circle, lazily singing with their arms wrapped around each other and their hands gripping a few beers. Sonnett had her arms draped over Lindsey and Tobin who swayed her back and forth to the sound of their teammate’s horrible singing.

“Thank God you guys all play soccer because none of you have a future in singing.” Sonnett called out. A few of her teammates cheered to her statement, while others laughed. The singing circle broke up and everyone gathered in random areas throughout the locker room to continue the celebration. Sonnett mimicked the cheers and downed her beer.

“Woah Woah hotshot. I do not want a repeat of the World Cup celebrations. Plus, we still need to check that head of yours for a follow-up tomorrow. Wouldn’t want them to confuse hangover with concussion.” Sonnett laughed at Lindsey’s worry.

“I’m fineeeee.” She drew out. Emily had already finished her second beer, and the slight haze she felt was better than the headache that had started to reappear after her adrenaline had died down. The trainer had already checked her. She was in the clear. But Emily couldn’t deny that she’d probably have a nasty bruise on the side of her head the next morning. That’s probably what the headache was from. And that’s what she told herself as she grabbed another drink.

“Sonny, I’m serious. That tackle was no joke. You gave us all a real scare.” Lindsey gave her friend a worried look. She had known Sonnett to get drunk over a period of time throughout a night, not all in one sitting.

“Sweet, sweet Lindsey.” She was already beginning to slur her words a little. “I love you to pieces, but you and I have national team camp coming up. The dry-spell there is grueling. So loosen up, have a few drinks with me and we can regret it all tomorrow morning.” Sonnett handed Lindsey another drink. She sighed.

“I guess you’re right. But no drunk videos. I still get tagged in those and it’s still just as embarrassing.” Lindsey took the drink from her friend’s hand.

Sonnett laughed. “Bold of you to assume that I can control myself.” And with that, they continued their celebrations.

~~~

Kelley paced her apartment. The remnants of her watch-party were cleaned up and she was finally alone, with Christen being the last to leave. Ever since Kelley had broken down in front of Christen about her breakup, Press had made a point to check on her friend just a little more often. Kelley appreciated the effort. The little distractions helped her take her mind off of everything that was going through her mind. Even if her mind was more focused on Emily lately rather than the shambles that was now labeled her last relationship.

It had been a good few hours after the game and Kelley was alone in her apartment pacing her floor, contemplating whether or not it would be weird to call Emily to congratulate her.

“Calling would be weird.” Kelley mumbled to herself. “Maybe a text. Oh but I should text the other so it isn’t obvious.” Finally coming to a decision, she sent quick texts to her international teammates.

**Congrats girlies! That was one hell of a game. Can’t wait to wreck you guys at camp. Drink extra for me!**

And then Kelley’s fingers hovered above Sonnett’s name. She had planned to text her the same thing, but something had stopped her. It’s not like they were going to compare messages. _Be sincere._

**Congrats Sonny. Can’t wait to see you in camp. And to your credit, you took that tackle like a champ. Hope you’re okay. See you soon!**

Kelley felt her stomach flip as she sent the text. Was it too much? Deciding to not think about it, she tossed her phone on the couch and flipped on the TV to a random show. As hours passed, Kelley dozed off, unable to hear the soft ring from her phone.

**1 new message from Emily Sonnett.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Thank you so much for all your love and support on the last chapter! I'm really excited to keep updating you guys. I decided to add this chapter a little early, knowing that I wouldn't be able to post it later, but its rather short so i figured it'd be good to just give it to you all now. I promise the next one is better in length.  
> Keep your comments and thoughts coming! I will tell you that the next chapter is A LOT and actually includes the main plot point that I've been dying to share. Can't wait and as always hope you enjoy!


	4. The right person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett goes home.

“Holy hell.” Sonnett groaned into her pillow. Her alarm was going off, and she lazily hit her phone until it turned off.

“You’re feeling it too?” Lindsey was in the opposite bed. Emily didn’t open her eyes, but she could tell that Lindsey was face down in her pillow too.

“Didn’t you say something about no repeat of World Cup celebrations? Why would you let me do this to myself.” Emily whined.

“Oh please, you didn’t have to confiscate that entire box of Budweiser. Your hangover is completely on you.” Lindsey accused.

Emily finally opened her eyes. Lindsey was slumped over in bed, awkwardly trying to force a sweatshirt on. “I was just giving my thanks to the new NWSL sponsor. I thought I was doing good.” She reached for her phone and unlocked it. To her surprise, it was opened in messages. Not really thinking much of it, she went to her voicemail box that had a notification.

“Hey Em, it’s Mark. Quick reminder you have another concussion protocol checkup before we fly out. Just go to the med staff in the hotel. They’ll know what to do.” Emily groaned again.

“I’m screwed.” Emily said to Lindsey who was now making her way over to Sonnett’s bed. She threw the covers off, pulling Sonnett out by her legs.

“I told you not to drink so much, but when do you ever listen to me?” Lindsey said. Sonnett slid to the floor. Lindsey made her way to their suitcases and tossed Sonnett a sweatshirt. “You better pass their tests with flying colors. Otherwise, Jill won’t be the only one coming for you.” Sonnett rolled her eyes and shuffled to the bathroom.

“These lights are so unnecessarily bright.” Sonnett whined. She quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face, feeling slightly better. Emily caught a quick glance of herself in the mirror and noticed the purple bruising that was slightly visible on her temple. Nothing horrific, but it was still there. Other than the fact that she would definitely need a shower before they flew out, her appearance was good enough. Emily came back out to be presented with some water and Advil by Lindsey. “A saint on and off the pitch.” Emily downed the Advil and took the water with her as she shuffled out the hotel room. She pulled up her hoodie and took out her phone to see what chaos she had let unfold last night and if there was any evidence of it.

To her surprise there was only one blurry picture posted on Instagram of all of them with the trophy, slightly soaked in alcohol, but nothing more than that. “Good work Sonn.” She mumbled to herself. She then switched over to her messages, seeing if she had forgotten to reply to any post-win congrats. She quickly sent thank you’s to her parents and twin sister. She then sent jokes back to her national teammates and then she noticed Kelley’s name somewhere in the mix. From the looks of it, she had already responded to something. Sonnett made a bet with herself that it was probably something funny. She clicked on the conversation.

**Congrats Sonny. Can’t wait to see you in camp. And to your credit, you took that tackle like a champ. Hope you’re okay. See you soon!**

**We did the damn thing! That tackle hurt like a bitch, but I can’t wait to wrap you in a hug so you can make it better. Lololol. All my love to you Kell.**

Emily’s smile faltered. “Okay, that was definitely not a normal-looking response.” Suddenly worried that Kelley would get the impression that Emily was hitting on her, Sonnett quickly sent a follow-up message.

**That last text was sent under the influence. Lindsey can vouch. See you soon! And thanks for the congrats!**

“Better.” Sonnett mumbled to herself. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about the first text. Sure, she had sent it in a haze of beer, but the idea of what she said was still there.

When Kelley had broken down in front of Sonnett at one of the victory tour camps, Sonnett had criticized herself for feeling slightly overjoyed that Kelley and her girlfriend had broken up. She considered herself to be one of Kelley’s closest friends and friends aren’t supposed to be happy while the other is at one of their lowest points. But she couldn’t help the way she felt. Every time she looked at Kelley, her heart would flutter. When she had suggested they’d go and drink away the night, she wasn’t just trying to distract Kelley. She was also trying to distract herself from thinking that there was any possibility of something between her and Kelley. There couldn’t be. They’d always been friends and teammates above everything else. Sonnett didn’t want to take any chance of ruining that.

Still, she would always have a tiny bit of hope that maybe there was something. But Sonnett was sure that it still wasn’t the right time to even try. She never wanted to be anyone’s rebound, let alone Kelley’s. Plus, she was really shaky with relationships, always getting disinterested and never feeling truly happy in one. And maybe that’s how it was always going to be.

Lindsey was the only one that knew the gist of Sonnett’s brief relationships that never really amounted to much. She had dated a few guys in college and she even had a go at a handful of girls, but none of them ever stuck. It was getting to the point where Emily had labeled herself as un-dateable and oddly enough she had become okay with that idea. Because if she was going to really give a relationship a go, she knew that she would only stay for the right reasons and it would be with the right person. But she told herself over and over again, Kelley was not that person. At least not right now.

“Hey, Sonny! Come to check on the head?” Sonnett pulled herself out of her own thoughts to focus on the trainers. She needed to pass this concussion test. All jokes aside, Lindsey was right. Of course, Jill would be disappointed, but Sonnett would be the first to blame herself. She needed to be in perfect form for all the next camps. She knew she was one of the maybes for the Olympics and she would do everything she could to change that maybe to a confirmed spot.

“Alright, we’re just going to run some standard checks to make sure you’re all set for national team camp in a few days. How’s the head feeling this morning? I notice you have some bruising where the tackle happened.” Sonnett pulled back her hood so they could get a better look.

“I’m pretty sure I’m fine, but fair warning I am slightly hungover. And please save your judgments I already got a mouthful from Lindsey this morning.” The trainer laughed.

“Alright, it shouldn’t factor in too much, but I’ll make note of it.” Emily gave a thumbs up and went through each test. Her head was definitely pounding, but the Advil was starting to kick in and she could focus just long enough to complete each one.

“How am I looking?” Emily asked as they finished the last test.

“You’re doing pretty good. Definitely not perfect, or as good as I’d like, but you’ve technically cleared all tests. I’d say take it easy for a few days. I’m assuming that your post-win celebration is just messing with you for a little bit, but even with a hangover, you passed. Good luck at camp!” Emily smiled and high fived the trainer. Relief fluttered through her. She went back to her hotel room to break the good news.

“Guess who just passed concussion protocol with a hangover?” She exclaimed. Lindsey was on her bed watching TV, coffee in hand. She gestured to the nightstand that had another cup waiting for Emily.

“You really are indestructible.” Lindsey commented. Emily flopped onto her bed, gratefully taking her coffee in her hands.

“I think the words you’re looking for is top-notch athlete.” Lindsey laughed.

“We all need ego boosters once in a while.” Sonnett cheered to that, raising her coffee cup with approval. Lindsey started to get off her bed. “We need to start packing. Mark wants everyone in the lobby in an hour.”

Sonnett groaned. “You better let me sleep on the plane.”

“Anything for you.” Lindsey tossed a shirt at Sonnett that somehow ended up with her things. Before Sonnett got up from her bed, she heard her phone ring.

**1 new message from Kelley O’Hara.**

Sonnett felt her stomach flip. She quickly opened the message.

**I’ll take your word for it. You sure know how to party. I’m still taking you up on that hug.**

Sonnett laughed.

**You got it.**

“Sonny, I’m not going to pack for you.” Lindsey whined, waving another one of Emily’s shirts in front of her.

“After all you’ve done for me this morning? I should be the one packing for you.” Sonnett lazily piled her clothes in her bag before forcefully zipping it shut. After packing, Lindsey and Sonnett raced to the hotel lobby, knowing they were likely the last ones down.

“Late!” Franch called out to the two. Lindsey mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to Mark who just chuckled, knowing they meant no harm.

With everyone finally in the lobby, they waited for their bus back to the airport. Tobin was holding onto the trophy with a goofy smile as she scrolled through her phone before typing something. Sonnett assumed it was something with Press.

Emily tugged on Lindsey’s sweatshirt. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have your Advil on you still?” Her headache had gotten worse. It had dulled momentarily during her concussion test, but it was back. Pain rolled through Emily’s mind and she would do anything to make it stop. Lindsey looked at her with concerned eyes.

“Sonny, I gave you some like less than an hour ago. You doing okay?” Even though she had objected, she was already un-shouldering her backpack to get Sonnett a few more Advil.

“Yeah, I’m good. This hangover is just really hitting me and I’m not ready to get on a flight in this state.” Lindsey reluctantly handed her two more Advil. Sonnett downed them with the rest of her water from that morning. She suddenly felt dehydrated. Maybe it was because she’d only had coffee.

Sonnett rolled her shoulders and got in line with the rest of her teammates to board the bus that had arrived. Her head was still pounding and trying to get a moment of some relief, Sonnett squeezed her eyes shut.

And that was the first time it happened.

“Sonny, come on. Car's here.” _Car?_ Emily opened her eyes to see an Uber pull in front of her and Lindsey. Where did the rest of their teammates go? Confused, Sonnett blinked a few times before mechanically putting her bags in the trunk of the car and got in the back with Lindsey. Lindsey confirmed the address of their apartment complex.

Sonnett stayed quiet the whole ride. Her eyes darted out the window, recognizing locations and signs that definitely screamed Portland. Emily pulled out her phone to notice that it was several hours had passed and she didn’t remember any of it. Confusion turned into panic.

They got to their apartment and Lindsey thanked the driver. Sonnett was still quiet. She kept trying to remember anything from the day. Boarding the bus, the plane, the flight, anything. It was all missing.

They both grabbed their bags and dragged them up the stairs to their apartment. Once they’d dropped their bags, Lindsey turned on Emily. “Okay, spill. What is going on?” Sonnett was startled out of her spiral, somewhat surprised at Lindsey’s tone. She’d never heard it directed at her before.

“I-“ Sonnett struggled over her words, trying to come up with an explanation. “I’m tired.” _Shit._ Not the best excuse. Sonnett quickly elaborated. “I didn’t get enough sleep on the plane I guess.” Lindsey chuckled.

“That’s an understatement. You didn’t sleep at all.” Lindsey had her arms crossed over her chest now, waiting for a better excuse.

“Right.” So she had been awake for the entire flight and she didn’t remember a single bit of it. Sonnett tried to mask her panic. “It’s been a wild last couple of hours is all. And I’m in the clear concussion wise, but I think the bruise on the side of my face is evidence enough that I am a wreck right now.” Sonnett chuckled. If only Lindsey knew. Something in Emily told her not to tell Lindsey. Not remembering almost an entire day is really concerning no matter what angle you try to approach it. Emily mentally told herself that she could figure this out on her own.

“Yeah, you look rough.” Lindsey confirmed. Sonnett playfully punched her in the arm.

“Okay, no need to be mean now.”

Lindsey picked up her bags, gently kicking Emily’s to her. “Get some rest dork. There’s a parade tomorrow that requires your full attention. I’ll wake you up for dinner. The Aussies are coming over to cook.” Emily gave Lindsey a weak smile, trying to hide the fact that she didn’t remember the announcement of a parade.

“Thanks, Linds. Sorry I’ve been so out of. I promise to bring the full spaz after a decent night of sleep.” Emily saluted her friend and picked up her bags.

Lindsey rolled her eyes, making her way to her room. “Not sure that’s such a great alternative.” She called out.

Emily made her way to her room, not even bothering to unpack her bags. She was leaving for camp in five days. She’d just make sure to repack in the next couple days. She did pull out a hoody from her backpack. Emily slid into her bed and curled in on herself, immediately fishing out her phone.

She quickly went to Instagram noticing that she had posted a few stories. She hadn’t added any new posts aside from the blurry one the day before. She clicked through her own stories, trying to add pieces back to the missing hours of the day. There was one picture of her and Lindsey on the bus. Then a video of them sitting with the trophy on the plane. Then a picture from the plane window that read, ‘I’m home!’ Nothing seemed out of order aside from the fact that Emily didn’t remember any of the events she had just seen. Lindsey’s Instagram told a similar story.

Emily rubbed her eyes, deciding to turn off her phone. All the pictures and videos were just making her feel worse. She took Lindsey’s word and decided to get some sleep. Her headache had dulled making it easier for her to relax. She was asleep within a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is: the main plot point for this story.  
> I hope you guys like this idea and continue to read till the very end. I will point out that there will be some chapters that are heavier than others so I'm wondering if you guys would like a warning note at the beginning of those chapters? Let me know!
> 
> All of your sweet words and love on the last chapters have been overwhelming and I'm so grateful for every single one of you that took the time to read this work!
> 
> Additionally, i'd like to note that with Jill annoucing her sudden retirement and me having written her as the head coach for this entire story, I do not plan to work that aspect in lol. So yes, you will have to suffer through her in some later chapters.
> 
> Anyways please continue to give your thoughts in the comments because I love your feedback and it always inspires ideas I can incorporate into future chapters. Also, figured I might as well drop my tumblr if you guys want to send requests or just talk general woso outside of the comment section here: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> I can't promise I'll get to writing any new fics/ requests anytime soon until I finish this work, but I'll definitely keep any requests in mind for future works.
> 
> As always, hope you enjoy ! xx


	5. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Australians cook dinner.

“Sonny, wake up. They’re going to be over in ten minutes.” Lindsey gently shook Emily, who was curled up in bed with her hoody pulled tightly over her face. She groaned in response, turning away and adjusting her pillow so it was on top of her. “Em, come on.” Lindsey ripped away the covers to which Sonnett responded by hitting her with a pillow. Lindsey took that too.

“Five more minutes.” Sonnett mumbled, reaching for her covers again.

“I’ve given you five hours. Now get up.” Lindsey left Sonnett alone, hoping her chastising would be enough to get her friend out of bed.

When the Aussies showed up ten minutes later, Lindsey was still waiting in their living room alone. She let her teammates in, making a point to go grab Sonnett. “She’ll be out in a sec.” Lindsey angrily made her way back to Sonnett’s room. The door was still closed.

Without trying to make much of a scene she opened the door, ready to drag Sonnett out if she was still in bed. To Lindsey’s surprise, she found her friend sitting on the edge of her bed simply staring at a wall in her room. “Uh, Sonn?” Emily blinked a few times before turning to look at Lindsey.

“Yeah?” She was already getting up from her bed. She was wearing an extra pair of game shorts and the sweatshirt she fell asleep in. Lindsey stopped her before she left the room.

“You good?” Lindsey grabbed her friend’s wrist, trying to get a better look at her. There were heavy bags under her eyes and she looked distracted. Lindsey had never seen her like this.

“Just hungry.” Sonnett moved past Lindsey. She could hear Emily greeting their teammates in the living room with laughs and shouting even though they had seen each other earlier that day. Something was different. Lindsey didn’t want to pry, but if things got worse, she would need to confront Sonnett. For now, she just convinced herself that her friend was, in fact, tired and hungry and left it at that. 

~~~

“You guys are the best.” Sonnett finished off her food and high-fived Caitlin Foord. The Australian gladly took the empty plate and helped Lindsey clean up from dinner. Meanwhile, Raso and Emily reconvened at the couch. Sonnett turned on the TV to some terrible reality show, lazily sipping on some beer.

“That’s a nasty bruise you’ve got going their Sonny.” Raso pointed out. Emily hadn’t seen it since she had first looked that morning, but she assumed it was starting to show more color.

“Well, I do like wearing my heart on my sleeve and my tackles on my face.” Raso laughed and Foord smirked. Lindsey just kept watching.

“I can’t believe Zerboni didn’t get a card for that. She could have really hurt you.” Foord called over from the kitchen.

Sonnett’s smile faded, but she quickly took a swig of her beer to cover it. “It happens. I mean I’m pretty sure there’s a compilation on YouTube of Alex Morgan kneeing goalkeepers in the face.” Lindsey did laugh at that comment, but she hadn’t missed how her friend’s demeanor had suddenly shifted.

“Still, you’re not a keeper. I don’t know. It’s all a little suspicious to me.” Raso continued.

“It’s over and done with. Plus, I’m good! The bruise will go away. Everything is great.” _Liar._ Lindsey thought to herself.

“Which we are all so happy about. Truly.” Raso patted Sonnett’s arm. “You guys excited for camp? This is for prep for Olympic qualifying right?” She asked.

Sonnett nodded. “Yup. We leave in five days.”

“You guys are going to do great.” Raso nudged Sonnett. “Of course, I’m expecting to see you at the Olympics. Caitlin and I have every intention to make your job harder.” Caitlin and Lindsey joined the others on the couch.

“Oh, absolutely.” Caitlin confirmed.

“We might not even play each other.” Lindsey pointed out.

“Or make the roster.” Sonnett added. She wasn’t referring to Lindsey. The fear of not making the Olympic roster has been bothering Emily since the World Cup ended.

“You guys are going to make the roster. I have no doubt.” Caitlin encouraged. Sonnett was suddenly very interested in the TV. She drank more until her drink was finished.

“That’s the plan.” Lindsey tried to fill the awkward silence. She knew about Sonnett’s anxiety about the Olympic roster.

She had first seen it after one of the victory tour games. She and Emily were rooming together and when they had gotten back to their hotel room, Sonnett just broke down crying. Lindsey had never really seen Sonnett cry so the sudden burst really startled her. 

“What’s wrong?” Lindsey had asked, immediately wrapping her friend in a hug. “We won. It’s just a friendly.” She tried to think of any reason why Sonnett would be crying. It definitely wasn’t about a relationship. Lindsey knew how Emily was when it came to dating. _Disinterested_ is the first word that comes to mind.

Emily had stopped crying just enough to explain the flash of tears. “Sorry. And you’re right it’s just a friendly. But that’s the thing Linds. Jill won’t even play me at friendlies. What makes you think she’ll play me at the Olympics, let alone even let me on the roster? I’m dispensable. “ Lindsey’s eyes had gone wide. For Sonnett to have broken down, it must have been something she’d been thinking about for a while.

She quickly grabbed her friend by the shoulders, making her focus back at her. “Sonny, look at me.” Emily rolled her eyes, angrily wiping away the tears that were still slipping. “You are one of the hardest working people I know. If anyone is going to make that damn roster it’s going to be you. Don’t ever doubt yourself. You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t lie to you.” Sonnett had laughed as Lindsey told her to suck it up. She had agreed that Lindsey would never lie to her.

Ironically, a few months later, Sonnett had a pretty big secret of her own. She would find the right time to tell Lindsey. Plus, the ‘blackout’, which is what Emily had resigned to calling it, had only happened once. Everything was fine. She was _fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a little look into Lindsey and Sonnett's friendship. Its a little short but I tend to do a couple short chapter before dropping a really really long one.
> 
> Your comments and love on these past few chapters have been so overwhelming and sweet! I really hope you guys are still enjoying the work!
> 
> Just a little heads up that Kelley wont be physically in the next few chapters, but its a slow build to when they meet. I promise it will come.
> 
> Until then, hope you guys continue to like it and keep leaving comments and suggestions! You can also reach me at tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things


	6. Toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett cooks.

“Sonny?” Lindsey came out of her bedroom, to the sound of the oven beeping. It was 6 AM. The parade was at nine. She hadn’t planned on getting up until eight at the latest, but the beeping wouldn’t end and Lindsey was convinced she could smell smoke. That was enough to get her out of bed. But what she woke up to was definitely unexpected.

Sonnett was standing alone in the kitchen, gripping a spatula and staring at the beeping oven. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and some old practice shorts. Her hair was in her usual bun. Something was definitely burning.

“Sonnett, Jesus.” Lindsey raced into the kitchen, gently moving Emily out of the way to open the oven. She grabbed a towel and quickly pulled out a couple of pieces of slightly burnt toast. Lindsey whipped around, looking for an excuse.

Emily’s eyes went wide before she regained her composure. “Linds I-“ She set down the spatula, moving past Lindsey to turn off the stove, which was also cooking a few eggs. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I mean the toast isn’t that bad?” Lindsey just stared at her.

“The toast isn’t that bad?!” Lindsey was shouting now. “That’s really all you have to say? Why the hell are you cooking, let alone burning things this early? This is the second time I’ve caught you in your own world, but this is different than just zoning out. What’s going on?” Sonnett took a step back.

“N-nothing.” She stammered out. She sucked in a deep breath. “I couldn’t sleep, okay? I wanted to make breakfast, figured it was early enough. Turns out, not sleeping definitely doesn’t pair well with cooking. I really am sorry, I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.” Sonnett took another shaky breath. The lies just kept coming out and she felt like she was over-explaining, but for some reason, she felt like she had to defend herself. “We have camp in four days. Olympic qualifying in a couple of months.” She blurted. To anyone else, the statement would have been trivial. But to Lindsey, the statement was so much more. She thought back to that time in the hotel room with Sonnett sobbing into her shoulder. Lindsey relaxed, suddenly feeling guilty for snapping.

“Okay. Okay, I get it.” Lindsey was just as nervous about making the Olympic roster as anyone else. She was still young and there was still a decent amount of players that were fighting for one of those eighteen spots. “I’m sorry. I guess I was just shocked to wake up to the possibility of our apartment burning down.” Sonnett chuckled, rubbing her eyes before running her hands through her hair. “And no, the toast isn’t too bad. Although I really wish you would stop using the oven as a toaster. I have a toaster.”

Sonnett rolled her eyes. “Oven equals big girl toaster.” 

“Not this again. And based on the state of our breakfast, I’m starting to think you can’t handle the big girl toaster.” Lindsey gestured to toast.

“You said the toast wasn’t too bad!” Emily accused, but a smile was planted on her face.

“I was just trying to make you feel better. Now out of the kitchen, before you really do some damage, I’ll finish up.” Sonnett groaned and made a show about exiting the kitchen. She plopped onto the couch.

“Hurry up, I’m hungry.” Sonnett called out just to be annoying. She turned to see Lindsey flipping her off. Emily grinned. While she waited, she turned on the TV. It opened to FOX Sports. To Emily’s surprise, they were showing highlights of the NWSL final. And then she saw it. _The_ tackle.

“Oh hey! You’re on TV!” Lindsey came over with two plates of avocado toast and eggs. She wandered away before coming back with two cups of coffee. Emily mumbled a thank you. She sipped her coffee, her smile from earlier gone as she watched herself get kneed in the face from four different camera angles.

“The Thorn’s pulled off the win, but I think we’re all surprised from that last clip that Emily Sonnett wasn’t pulled off the pitch last night. I mean, credit to her for doing some great defensive work and powering through, but I’m still suspicious of the supposed concussion protocol that she apparently passed.” They stopped playing the footage of the match as it flashed back to two announcers.

“I suppose you’re right, but the training staff is required to check the players thoroughly, especially with head injuries. There has been no word that she’s out for the upcoming international camp, so I assume that Sonnett is just fine, even with that nasty tackle. Speaking of national team camp, the US plans to host three friendlies to prepare for Olympic qualifying. Over the next two weeks, they’ll be playing France, Germany, and Scotland in various locations, starting in Seattle. This will be some great competition as France and Germany won’t be competing in the upcoming Olympics and Scotland’s team will be grouped in Team Great Britain. It looks like it’s going to be a great couple of games!” The other announcer commented. Emily suddenly lost her appetite.

“Going back to Portland, the city plans to hold a celebratory parade for the three-time NWSL champion team.” Emily tuned out the rest of the commentary, focusing on trying to eat her breakfast. She forced it down, knowing she would regret not eating at the parade. Those things could be hours long and with Portland’s fans? Emily suspected they’d be out for a while.

“You probably didn’t want to wake up to that did you?” Lindsey had noticed the way Sonnett had frowned at the TV when they had replayed _the_ tackle.

“Kind of like how you didn’t want to wake up to burnt toast.” Sonnet joked. Lindsey laughed, happy to see that Emily wasn’t too bummed about the commentators. Still, she reached for the remote and changed the channel.

“You think we’ll get free beer at this parade?” Emily asked. She had already thought about drafting a tweet about it, just to see if it would happen. It worked for Kelley after all. Emily smiled at the thought of Kelley. Only she would be crazy enough to jump off the parade float to chase down beer from the fans. Sonnett had never laughed so hard in her life. Lindsey just assumed the smile was about the possibility of beer.

“One can only hope.” Lindsey raised her coffee cup, knowing full well that with Sonnett by her side, they’d be trading coffee mugs for beer cans in less than a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter to keep the story goinggggg.
> 
> You're comments and love make my day so don't be afraid to comment something or you can reach me on tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> I'm having so much fun writing for this work and I promise Kelley will be back and you guys will get the so'hara content you DESERVE. (Also Allie Long's recent instagram stories consists of that deserved content.)
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and I can't wait to hear your thoughts or suggestions.


	7. Four days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily waves from a float.

The cheers were overwhelming. The parade had just started, and Sonnett stood in between AD and Lindsey as they waved to the fans that crowded the sides of the street. In her other hand, she was clutching another coffee, but with it almost being finished, she knew it would be replaced with something a little more alcoholic.

Sonnett’s mind was still on the events of this morning and how she had ‘awoken’ to herself in the kitchen on the verge of burning down their apartment complex. She hadn’t remembered even waking up to cook breakfast. Her little ramble of excuses was thrown out in a moment of panic to make Lindsey believe that nothing was wrong. But, Emily suspected that she’d be under her friend’s watchful eyes for a decent amount of time after today’s events.

All Emily could think of was the blackouts. Ever since the first one, she’s been startled out of her ‘dazed’ state more frequently. Something was clearly wrong, but with camp in four days and the timeline of the Olympics fast approaching, Sonnett didn’t want to even think of the possibility that this could be something that could put her off the roster for a couple of months. She was desperate and determined to make that final 18 that would head to Tokyo next summer. She had to.

After the events of the morning, Emily had decided it would be best to start taking note of what she missed and how she felt before she lost time. Every time, she had either felt extremely tired or a massive headache come on. The exhaustion made her feel delusional (more than she already did) and the headaches were crippling. Before the flight home, it had been the headache. Before Lindsey had caught her staring at nothing in her room, it had been exhaustion. And before breakfast, Emily recalled the start of a headache that must have been the thing to wake her up. After each of those little markers, all those missed hours or minutes were just gone. She had no memory of them, only bits from what she gained from pictures or what her friends had said.

She had a little notes file on her phone, documenting each time the blackouts happened. The next step was figuring out how to prevent them. Sonnett had no clue why this was happening. She had passed concussion protocol right?

“Hey Sonny, try not to look so miserable, yeah?” Caitlin Foord had pulled up to Emily’s side and nudged her, offering her a beer. “Ever since your World Cup parade, apparently it’s a thing for fans to bring players alcohol. These two were tossed at us and nearly took out Raso.” Caitlin passed one to Emily and the other to Lindsey. Sonnett straightened her shoulders, slowly forming a smile to try and seem less ‘miserable’ as Caitlin had pointed out.

“I don’t even remember half of the parade.” Lindsey mumbled before tossing back some of the beer. Sonnett chuckled, knowing full well that they had to piece together most of the events post-final based on the onslaught of pictures and videos that all of them had posted or saved.

The Thorn’s waved from their floats as they passed through downtown Portland. At the end of the parade, they were ushered to a makeshift stage, where the mayor had planned on giving them all keys to the city. Tobin had been asked to give a speech.

One by one, they walked up to the stage, accepting the little black boxes that held their keys. Emily laughed when Caitlin tripped up the steps, probably from one too many beers. She was cracking jokes with Lindsey, drinking more, throwing out a few dance moves, and cheering for every single one of her teammates. She was having fun and for the first time since _the_ tackle, she felt like herself.

Emily felt her phone buzz. She asked Lindsey to hold her key, while she grabbed it out of her back pocket. Lindsey continued her conversation with Tobin, who had just delivered her speech, which had consisted of her shouting out to her teammates and thanking all the fans for their support throughout their 2019 season. Sonnett thought it was great. She made a mental note to tell Tobin to give more speeches.

Emily’s eyes lit up as she saw the notification on her phone.

**1 new message from Kelley O’Hara**

Sonnett opened it. She couldn’t help but smile.

**Congrats on the parade. I can tell you’re celebrating correctly. Four days!**

The text was so random, but Kelley’s simple words washed over Emily, only adding to the great mood she had slipped into. Sonnett had been so anxious about camp, that she had completely ignored the best part about it. Of course, she was excited to see all of her national teammates again, especially Sam, Mal, and Rose, but something inside of her pulled towards Kelley. They hadn’t seen each other for about a month, having missed Utah and Portland’s last game against each other for a victory tour game.

Sonnett would never admit the crush she had on Kelley. She would never admit that after Kelley had told her of her newly single status, that Sonnett’s mind brushed at the idea of them together. She would never admit that every time she was with Kelley, everything else melted away and all she could focus on was her smile or the way her eyes sparkled whenever Sonnett told a joke, even if it was bad. She would never admit her feelings because she was terrified of losing her friendship with Kelley.

Sonnett would never admit her crush, but she would admit that the idea of camp had suddenly become just a little more exciting.

**The Miss Kelley celebration is the only celebrating I partake in. Four days.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I posting this chapter at 2 am you ask? Simply because I wouldn't have any other time throughout the day and wanted to stay consistent with uploading once a day. Also just slowly adding to the build up that is them finally seeing each other again. It will come in due time. I promise.
> 
> Happy victory tour game-day btw!
> 
> You're guys comments and love still blow me away and I love reading every single one of your thoughts so don't be afraid to comment some more or you can talk to me about requests or general woso at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Anyways, sorry for the random upload time, but I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story and I promise it will have actual so'hara with each other very very soon. This is a slow burn after all.


	8. Wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett goes to camp.

_Everything is fine._

Emily whispered the phrase to herself over and over again as she waited with Lindsey outside of their apartment for the Uber to take them to the airport. Since the parade, Sonnett had been focusing on everything else except camp. Every time she thought about the possible mistakes she would make or if she would make the starting lineup or everything that could go right or wrong, she could feel her whole body tense up and the start of a headache. And the only thing that stressed her out more than camp was the possibility of another blackout.

So, she had busied herself throughout the four days after the parade. She went out with friends, maybe drinking from time to time because the fuzzy feeling was better than the headaches. She went to the gym and ran until her legs couldn’t run anymore. She explored Portland, going to all her favorite spots by herself and sometimes with friends. She hadn’t sat still for four days and before she knew it Lindsey was reminding her to pack and that their flight was the next morning.

Emily hadn’t had another blackout since the morning of the parade, but after four days of doing everything she could think of, she could feel her body tiring and with the 9 AM flight they were getting ready for, Sonnett couldn’t help but worry about the possibility of her not remembering another flight.

“It’s way too early for this.” Lindsey groaned. It was a little past 6 AM and the sun hadn’t risen, but the sky was washed a warm blue, signaling the start of a new day. Sonnett nodded in agreement, still slightly angry about not having a coffee in her hand at this ungodly hour. Tobin had been the one to suggest getting to the airport early. Sonnett was pretty sure arrive over two hours ahead of time was overkill. “You’re excited though, right?” Lindsey asked.

Sonnett gripped the handle of her suitcase a little harder but forced a smile. “Are you kidding? I get to see my 22 best friends! What more could I want.” Lindsey chuckled. Sonnett noticed the way Lindsey relaxed a little. She subconsciously tried to relax, knowing that Lindsey hadn’t taken her eyes off her since the morning of the parade. Sonnett appreciated how caring her best friend was, but she really needed all eyes off her. It only added to the stress of her situation.

At that moment their Uber pulled up. The two loaded their suitcases and got into the backseat. “Tobin’s already there with AD.” Lindsey gestured to her phone. Sonnett leaned over and saw the text from Tobin, telling Lindsey that she had just gotten there.

“I swear those two are just getting to places early to rub it in. Better a little late than never?” Emily said before settling into her seat. 

“We definitely need to get coffee when we get there.” Lindsey yawned afterward, only emphasizing the need for caffeine in their system.

Sonnett stifled a yawn of her own. “I don’t know. I might just try and sleep on the plane. It’s a short flight, I’ll just get coffee when we land.” Emily knew she needed to catch up on sleep. With how early they had to get up and having to face her anxiety about camp, she’d gotten maybe three full hours of sleep the night before and that was just an estimate.

Lindsey shrugged. “As long as you don’t fall asleep on me, you’re free to do what you want.” Sonnett smiled, thinking of all the times she had fallen asleep on Lindsey throughout their various plane rides together and all the embarrassing videos Lindsey had saved on her phone of Sonnett passed out.

“Deal.” Sonnett could see the airport coming up. Without really thinking, she sucked in a deep breath and let it out.

“Are you suddenly afraid of flying?” Lindsey questioned, noticing the way Emily had tensed as they approached the airport.

“What? No.” _Everything is fine._

“Just checking.” Lindsey assumed Sonnett’s nerves were related to camp, not flying, but she made a mental note to keep tabs on her. “You’re going to do great Sonny. You’re your own worst critic and I’m going to need you to start believing in yourself the way everyone else does. Promise?” Lindsey took her friend’s hand, forcing her to look back at her. She could see the worry in Sonnett’s blue eyes, but Lindsey had to make her believe that she was capable of staying on the national team.

“Promise. You better score in one of these games.” Sonnett teased, squeezing Lindsey’s hand.

Lindsey matched Emily’s mischievous smile. “Only if you assist.” Sonnett rolled her eyes, biting back a comment about probably not even getting playing time. She was supposed to believe in herself after all.

The driver pulled up, waiting for them to get out. They both thanked him and grabbed their bags, but before they went into the airport, Sonnett quickly wrapped Lindsey in a hug. “Thanks, Linds. I don’t think you understand how much I really needed that.” She said softly. Lindsey held her tight. She would do anything for Sonnett because she knew Sonnett would do anything for her. She was happy to help.

“Anytime.”

The two walked into the airport. Emily saw Tobin and AD first, pointing Lindsey in the right direction.

“About time!” AD called to them, even though she was smiling.

“Yeah, babe we’re about to head to security. We’ll be landing a little bit before you, but I’ll hang back and just wait for you to get there so we can head to the hotel together.” Tobin waved at Emily and Lindsey, before mouthing that she’d only be a few more seconds. Emily assumed she was on the phone with Christen. “Love you too.” Tobin said, brushing away her teammates that all pretended to gag. Tobin and Christen were really cute together, but the others couldn’t help themselves. Tobin would always get flustered before returning to her normal, laidback demeanor. She hung up the phone. “When are you guys going to stop with that?” Tobin asked, even though she was smiling. Sonnett couldn’t tell if it was because she had just finished talking to Press or if she found their teasing genuinely funny.

Lindsey nudged Tobin. “Oh please, you know we mean good fun. How’s the Salt Lake City gang?” Sonnett’s mind immediately went to Kelley. She hadn’t really spoken much to her since that random text at the parade, but the idea of seeing her in a few hours still made her excited.

“They’re about to board. Speaking of, we need to get going. Took you two long enough.” Tobin motioned for them to follow.

“We were on time!” Lindsey argued.

They got through security just fine and were at their gate in no time. Lindsey had gotten her coffee and Sonnett sat next to her while they waited to be called on to their flight. Even without coffee, Emily felt wide-awake. A thousand thoughts ran through her brain about camp, about Kelley, about her injury, and as the announcer finally called for them to board she readied herself. _Everything is fine._

_It’s just a flight. Get ahold of yourself. Nothing bad is going to happen._ She sat next to Lindsey, claiming the window seat. Emily distracted herself by watching the busy-ness of the airport as workers drove around, loaded bags, and directed planes.

“Get ready for takeoff.” Emily pulled her eyes away from the window, not even realizing that everyone had boarded. One of the flight attendants was going over the usual safety precautions, but as the plane lurched out of the gate, Emily squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the armrest next to the window. Ever since the flight home to Portland, Emily had been dreading the next time she got on a plane and with everything she had on her mind, she could feel herself start to worry. She tried to relax as she could feel the plane position itself for takeoff.

In just an hour or so she’d be at camp. With all its joys, it recently had only caused Sonnett an unnatural amount of stress. Sure, she’d put up a great front, cracking jokes, dancing, and keeping the overall demeanor of the team on a high. But ever since the NWSL final, she hadn’t felt like herself and the idea of keeping up that front, plus performing at the standard she needed to for a chance at a roster spot for the Olympics, it all almost felt like too much. And that’s what she thought about over and over as she felt the plane rattle assuming they were taking off.

After a few moments, she felt a hand shake her leg. “Sonny, wake up.”

Emily blinked a few times. “I’m sleeping.” She mumbled before trying to close her eyes again, confused as to why Lindsey was trying to wake her. She had been promised sleep. Lindsey shook her leg a second time.

“No more time for that. We’ve landed.” Emily’s heart dropped. She quickly looked out the window to see the Seattle airport and not the fluffy clouds she had expected.

“Oh, okay.” Was all she managed to say before mechanically unlatching herself from her seat. She had still been gripping the armrest and her hand felt sore.

“How’d you sleep?” Lindsey pulled down her own bag from the overhead before handing Sonnett her own bag.

“Fine.” Emily said still trying to calm herself down. She had to stop getting anxious. It was only making things worse.

“Well, from the looks of it, you definitely need a coffee or another nap.” Lindsey called back as they exited the plane.

“Sure.” Emily felt disoriented. Her whole body felt tired and her mind felt like it was two steps behind reality. But as they exited their gate, she straightened up and tried to seem a little more awake. She had to be perfect for this camp. So as she followed Lindsey, she started making excuses for why she felt the way she did, knowing full well that there was still a bigger issue that she didn’t want to face.

_You just fell asleep. You’re tired. Everything is fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this another 2 AM update? Why yes. Yes it is. 
> 
> Can we talk about how Sonnett got to play a full half last night cause I still don't believe it. Anyways, here is the next chapter and guess what? Kelley actually makes an appearance at chapter 9 so look forward to that ;)
> 
> Your love and support on this work keeps it going and I love chatting with you guys so don't be afraid to leave comments!
> 
> If you want to send requests or just talk general woso, head to my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> As alwayssss, hope you guys enjoy and let me just tell you, things get wild from this point forward.


	9. Back with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley makes coffee plans.

Kelley couldn’t wait to get off the plane. She was nervously tapping her leg and staring out of the window as she watched planes pull into the Seattle airport. The tapping ceased when she felt a hand rest over hers.

“Nervous much?” Christen flashed a smile. It was odd to see Kelley this distant and somewhat nervous. Press couldn’t think of a time where she’d seen Kelley like this, even in her Stanford days.

Kelley gave Christen a reassuring look, grateful to have the notice to focus again. “Sorry. I think I’m just excited to see everybody. I guess this officially marks the start to our Olympic run yeah?” Kelley squeezed Press’ hand, knowing the Olympics were a touchy subject. Her teammates had praised her and done their best to lift her up, but the media fiasco after the 2016 Rio Olympics had been a lot for Press. Kelley had forced her to stay at her place for an entire week after, without her phone, to just let it all pass. Tobin hadn’t been too happy about the zero phone policy Kelley had put in place, but she’d made up for it by showing up on Kelley’s doorstep at the end of the week to take over for her.

“I can’t believe it’s already here.” Christen was still smiling and it warmed Kelley’s heart knowing that her friend was in a better place. This year, even with all its ups, had been hard for Press. Kelley couldn’t imagine what went through her friend’s head on a daily basis, but seeing her smile was reassurance enough that she was good and that Kelley need not worry.

“I know. Before we know it we’ll already be training for the next World Cup.” Kelley chuckled at the idea. They’d have to make it through the upcoming rigorous Olympic journey before they even considered the idea of the next World Cup.

Kelley changed the subject as they waited for the pilot to signal everyone off the plane. “You excited to see Tobin?” At that, Kelley saw Christen’s smile widen as if that was even possible. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Kelley nudged Christen’s side.

Press rolled her eyes, her face still beaming at the thought of seeing Tobin in a few minutes. “It’s been a while. I had made plans to go fly out and see her play in the final, but they fell through. I’m just excited to see her and then we have the holidays to make up for any missed time.” Kelley pretended to be grossed out, which only made Press laugh.

“No details, please. But seriously, you guys deserve it.” And Kelley had meant it. Even though she’d personally known Press the longest, no one could make her laugh or lift her up like Tobin could.

“Thanks. What about you? I’m sure you’re excited to see everyone. Any plans for the holidays?” Kelley hated how her mind immediately went to Emily, even though Christen had said ‘everyone’. As for the holidays…

“I’m not sure. You’ll be the first to know if I make any plans.” Kelley tried not to think of how this would be her first round of holidays without her ex in the last few years. In some ways, it was relieving, but there were still those memories and the idea of being alone that made her heart hurt at the thought of it. “Who knows, maybe I’ll crash with you and Tobin.”

“I’d welcome you in a heartbeat.” Christen giggled at the idea of Kelley third-wheeling on whatever vacation they ended up planning. “Not sure Tobin would be too happy about it though.”

“I’ll convince her.” Kelley joked. At that, the pilot finally announced that everyone could get off the plane. Kelley started to feel nervous again.

She wasn’t sure what it was. She had always tried to never really get nervous for camp, knowing it could heavily affect her performance. Maybe it was a certain blonde that she couldn’t stop thinking about that was getting to her. Kelley tried to think of the last time she’d even hugged Emily and her mind could only think of brief moments from the victory tour that felt like ages ago, although it had only been about a month. Still, had it really been that long?

“Tobin said she’s waiting by our baggage claim. And quote, ‘the rest of the NWSL champions are with me too,’ end quote.” Kelley rolled her eyes at Tobin’s text, but couldn’t stop the flip her stomach did at the mention of the others,even though her mind only focused on a specific individual.

Once they’d gotten off the plane, they let others pass as they waited for Becky who had sat only a few seats behind them. Once she saw them, they gathered their things and made their way over to baggage claim. They made casual conversation as they walked, wondering what drills Dawn would put them through and sizing up the competition they’d be playing in a couple of days. Kelley could already feel the excitement building amongst her teammates. They always wanted to play the best of the best and the talent amongst their opponents for the next month could definitely be considered some of the best.

“I’m just excited to get back into the groove of camp. This last off week felt too long.” Becky noted. Kelley admired her fellow defenders need to be on a pitch again.

“You say that now. Just wait till we’re back with Dawn.” Kelley noted, even though she knew that Becky was fully capable of any of Dawn’s notorious workouts.

“Oh, I think I see them!” Christen interrupted the conversation as she pointed over to a small group of women in similar outfits with matching suitcases. Kelley’s heart fluttered as she caught sight of Emily. But as she got closer, she was almost shocked at the sight of the younger defender. She had dark circles under her eyes. A nasty-looking bruise framed one side of her forehead and had begun to inch closer to her blue eyes. Her eyes were darting around as if she couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a second. Her hair was in a bun but strands fell all around her face. She wasn’t really smiling or talking, just nodding enough to keep up with whatever conversation Lindsey, Tobin, and AD were having. Emily looked different. But it was still Emily.

Kelley could feel a smile catch at her lips as they approached. Her footsteps matched the beat of her heart. Christen was already a few strides ahead, already making her way to Tobin who had noticed them. Christen wrapped Tobin in a hug as they laughed with the excitement of seeing each other. Becky calmly made her way over to the others, giving each of them a hug. Kelley followed suit, first hugging AD, quickly asking how she’s been before moving onto the next teammate. Then she wrapped Lindsey in a hug, exclaiming how much she’d missed the youngster. And then there was Emily.

“Hi.” Kelley almost shuttered at how suddenly awkward she’d become. Here she was all happy and welcoming with her other teammates and right when she gets to the one person she was most excited to see she closed up. Without letting Emily respond to the lackluster welcome, Kelley quickly pulled her into a hug.

Emily threw her arms around Kelley. The contact made Kelley’s anxiety slowly melt away. “And here I was thinking that you weren’t excited to see me.” Emily whispered into Kelley’s ear. It only made Kelley hug her tighter.

“It’s good to see you Em.” Kelley whispered back.

“Sonny!” Press exclaimed. Kelley awkwardly pulled away. She hoped no one noticed the blush that had risen to her cheeks. She began to worry if her hug with Sonnett had looked too comfortable to be considered friendly.

“It’s been too long Pressy.” Emily laughed as Christen dragged AD and Lindsey into one big group hug. Kelley hung back before turning to Tobin.

“Well if it isn’t _the_ Tobin Heath. Come here!” Kelley embraced her teammate. “I leave you for one month and you go and win an NWSL Championship. How could you?” Kelley mocked. Tobin laughed, while simultaneously rolling her eyes.

“Couldn’t have done it without these three.” Tobin gestured to her NWSL teammates that were still catching up with Press and Becky. “Heard you guys watched the game?” Kelley nodded.

“Christen would have ended me if I didn’t watch it.” Kelley joked. She would have watched the game either way but watching it with Christen and a few of the other Royals had been a lot more fun than watching it alone.

Tobin smirked, bringing Kelley in for another hug. “It’s been a wild couple days. But I’m ready to get into this camp. Anyone know when the van will be here?” Tobin asked to no one in particular.

Becky already had her phone out, finding the email that detailed their travel itinerary. “Should be here any minute actually. We should go wait for it outside so it knows where to pull up.” The others nodded in agreement, exchanging last-minute welcome back to camp comments before gathering their things.

Without really thinking, Kelley brought up the back of the group. To her delight, Sonnett pulled up next to her. Kelley couldn’t help but take momentary glances at Emily who still looked like she was in her own little world. Just to make casual conversation, Kelley nudged Emily. “Earth to Sonny. You seem a little distracted this morning. Everything good?” Sonnett let out a chuckle.

“Never better. I’m back with you after all.” Emily’s face contorted a little, suddenly realizing the various meanings of what she’d just said.

Kelley laughed, ignoring the way her nerves jumped at the sentence. “I know what you mean, but we need to get a coffee in you or something. At this rate, I’m not even sure you’ll make it to lunch.” Kelley had meant it. Even though she was overjoyed to see Emily, she couldn’t help but notice how out of it she looked.

Emily gave Kelley a weak smile. “That would be great actually.”

“Good. Maybe a few of the others could join too.” Kelley added the last part, not wanting the prospect of a coffee pickup seem like a date. Kelley had to remind herself that Emily would always be her teammate and friend. Nothing more. She couldn’t let herself slip into thinking that her feelings for Emily would amount to anything past friendly. No matter how much she wanted something else.

“Yeah, okay. Deal.”

Kelley nodded with confirmation. _Keep it casual. You’re just happy to see your friend. Nothing more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you another 2 AM update. But hey! Kelley and Emily actually interact! Who would have thought!
> 
> Your comments still mean the world to me and all your love on the last few chapters even without actual so'hara made my heart happy. To make up for a solid eight chapters without these two actually being together, I'll leave you with the promise that the following chapters are going to be filled with fluff, drama, and maybe even a little love. Guess you'll have to wait and see.
> 
> As always, you can send requests to me or talk general woso at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things  
> And don't be afraid to leave a few comments here as well!
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and I can't wait for you all to keep reading.


	10. Definite potential

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley buys coffee.

“Kelley!” Alex practically jumped into Kelley’s arms right when she entered the hotel, causing Kelley to drop her suitcase. The loud clatter caught the eyes of her other teammates. The larger group started to make their way over to greet the newcomers.

“Hello to you too Janice.” Kelley laughed, but she caught eye of Emily moving away from her, probably due to the loudness that was Alex Morgan. Kelley wanted to pull away and rejoin Emily, but Allie had made her way into the picture and soon the other two were forcing Kelley into one big reunion hug. Even though Kelley had sat next to Emily who promptly passed out on the van ride over to the hotel and had hardly breathed as Emily had slowly begun to rest her head on Kelley’s shoulder, she still couldn’t help but want to be by her side.

_You still have coffee later._ Kelley reminded herself, trying not to get flustered over Sonnett sleepily rubbing her eyes as she greeted a screaming Mal, Sam, and Rose that had rushed her with the same intensity of Allie and Alex.

“All back together. Everything is right in the world once again.” Alex called out. Kelley removed her eyes from the small group that had gathered around Emily to give Alex and Allie a proper greeting.

“I missed you losers.” She smiled brightly as she dragged them back into another hug. Everyone else rejoined, exchanging hellos. It was always like this. Even if they’d seen each other only a month ago, every camp reunion always broke out in a frenzy of laughing and quite a bit of yelling. If Sonnett wasn’t awake earlier, she’d definitely be awake now.

“Alright, quiet down quiet down.” Kelley turned towards the familiar voice. Jill stood next to the coaching staff, settling down the welcome back antics. “I’ll keep it brief. I know some of you have had a long flight to get here.”

“You can say that again.” Kelley stifled a laugh at Ashlyn’s comment. She had overheard Ali explaining the disaster that was their morning, as they’d had to get up at an unspeakable hour to get to Seattle from Orlando. Kelley was surprised any of them weren’t passed out from exhaustion.

“Dawn will assign you your roommates for this first leg after I go over today’s agenda. I want you to all get settled and we’ll have a quick team meeting promptly at noon. Afterward, I’ll give you two hours for lunch and then we’ll pick up an afternoon baseline training session with Dawn at around four. Team dinner at seven. The rest of the week will be planned out in the meeting at noon.” Jill stepped aside to give Dawn the chance to speak. She held a small stack of hotel room keys.

“Alright, we did something a little different this time with the roommates. Jill and I had a bit of fun and did names out of a hat. It also avoided any bias you think we may have against particular pairings.” That got a good chuckle from the group.

“Who do you think fate set us up with Kell?” Ashlyn whispered. Kelley smirked and leaned over to answer.

“Knowing your luck, you’ll probably get Ali.” Kelley whispered. Ashlyn rolled her eyes but made a point to cross her fingers.

“Alex, you’re with Ashlyn.” Dawn called out after a few other names were paired. Some of the others had already started to make their way to their rooms with their roommate for the next couple days.

“Not my girl, but I am definitely not mad about it.” Ashlyn gave Ali a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing Alex. Alex laughed and looped her arm through Ash’s arm.

“I swear those two.” Ali mumbled but Kelley could see the humor play across her face. Ashlyn turned to blow Ali another kiss and Ali only rolled her eyes before winking back. The Orlando squad was close and Ali knew that she had Ashlyn wrapped around her finger.

“Maybe next time.” Kelley nudged Ali with her elbow, gaining a smile from her fellow defender.

“One can only hope. Who’re you thinking you’ll get put with?” It was an innocent question and Kelley had only shrugged her shoulders in response, but she couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Sonnett who looked much more awake and was sharing a quiet laugh with Mal. Ali didn’t seem to notice.

“Ali, you’re with Pinoe.” Kelley chuckled as their pink-haired teammate shouted with glee and rushed to grab the key before dragging Ali away from Kelley.

“Those last two pairs better not be in rooms next to each other.” Allie noted. Kelley could already imagine the noise and laughter that would be echoing from both of their rooms.

“Tobin, you’re with Christen.” Kelley’s jaw practically dropped.

“You’re fucking joking.” Kelley whispered, before immediately turning to Christen who was trying to hide the blush that had risen to her cheeks. Tobin smugly grabbed the key cards before walking off with Press. Press turned back towards Kelley who only gave her a somewhat secretive thumbs up and wink. Christen rolled her eyes but melted against Tobin anyways as they made their way to the elevators.

“Damn, that was lucky.” Allie let out a low whistle.

“Ash and Ali are going to be pissed when they find out.” Kelley chuckled at the thought of Ash yelling at ‘fate’.

“Oh please, those two are plenty happy with their roommates.” Kelly nodded, knowing it was true. Maybe this whole hat-picking thing actually had potential.

A few other names were called, and then, “Kelley, you’re with Sonny.” _Definite potential._

Kelley felt the corners of her mouth lift as she gathered her things.

“Not fair.” Allie whined. “I swear if either of you two prank me, I will end you.” Allie warned as Sonnett approached Kelley with the keys.

“That sounds like a challenge, Kell.” Kelley cleared her throat trying not to stare for too long. Even with her tired eyes and messy hair, Emily was still very pretty and it was all Kelley could do to not wrap her arms around her. She quickly regained her composure, reminding herself once again, a relationship with Emily was off-limits.

“I guess we better get planning.” Kelley let out a laugh that definitely suggested they were going to do something to Allie.

Once they’d separated from the main group Kelley threw an arm over Sonnett’s shoulder and waited for the elevator to open. “We have to get some coffee in you ASAP.” Kelley said playfully. Emily’s eyes crinkled into a smile.

“Okay, I get it. I look like a walking disaster.” Emily played along, trying to hide the way she had suddenly straightened when Kelley had placed her arm over her shoulders. She was still trying to wipe the stupid grin off her face when Dawn had dubbed Kelley as her roommate.

“I’ve never seen you look better.” Kelley giggled as she pulled away from Emily and backed up into the elevator. Emily only shook her head, trying to fight the smile that pulled at her lips as she slid into the elevator.

Once they were finally alone, Emily dropped her bags and then fell onto one of the queen-sized beds. “Oh no, you don’t sleepyhead.” Kelley grabbed Sonnett’s wrists and pulled her off the bed. “I’ve already texted a few others. We’re getting coffee now before the team meeting.” Sonnett groaned and tried to break free from Kelley’s grip, but she couldn’t help but follow the freckled brunette. As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door. “Coming!” Kelley shouted out as she dragged Emily by the wrist to the door. Tobin, Christen, Lindsey, and Mal were on the other side.

The group walked down to a coffee shop that Kelley had noticed on the way to the hotel. It was only a few blocks away and it sat next to some bars and stores that either hadn’t opened or were milling with decent amounts of people. Sonnett followed Kelley closely but stayed by Lindsey’s side. She was overjoyed about the roommate choice, but the whole no relationship pact she’d made with herself had really sucked out the excitement. Still, Emily was looking forward to just spending time with Kelley, even if it was only for a couple of days. For all she knew, she would be rooming with someone else completely different when they got to their next destination. She made a mental note to be grateful for the quality time she would have.

In the coffee shop, Kelley had made her way to the front of the line. She turned back and caught Sonnett’s eye. “Sonny, come here!” She told. Emily looked at Lindsey who only shrugged, not quite sure what Kelley was up to.

“What’s up?” Sonnett asked. They were next in line.

“I’m getting your coffee. You can thank me later.” Sonnett laughed, thinking Kelley was joking. “I’m serious. I would never lie to you, but I’ll admit that when I said you never looked better, I was just trying to not hurt your feelings. Trust me. It would be my pleasure to treat you.” Sonnett lightly pushed Kelley, who only giggled more.

“You’re such an ass.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Next!” The barista called out. Kelley stepped forward. Sonnett was still at her side.

“Do you want me to give you my order?” Emily asked Kelley.

Kelley ignored the question and proceeded to ramble off her own coffee order as well as Emily’s as if she’d been doing it for years. Emily couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster at the fact that Kelley even made the effort to remember something as simple as a coffee order. Sonnett looked down at her feet. _It’s just a coffee order. Get ahold of yourself._

Kelley paid before gesturing to Sonnett to follow her so they could wait together. “So are you excited for camp?” Kelley asked. Sonnett was still trying to get over how Kelley hadn’t even made a big deal out of ordering her coffee like it was something she did all the time.

“Yeah. Of course.” Emily bit her lip. She did not sound the least bit excited.

Thank God Kelley couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a few minutes because Emily couldn’t bare having to hype herself up to match Kelley’s excitement about camp when it was the last thing she wanted to think about. Instead, Kelley had raised a hand to brush a strand of hair that had fallen out of Emily’s bun.

Emily flinched back. _Why would you do that?_ She mentally screamed at herself. Sonnett let out an awkward laugh. “Whatcha doin’ there?” She asked, but internally, she was still yelling at herself.

Kelley dropped her hand, noticing how awkward it had suddenly become. “Uh-“ _Quick. Think of something._ “I was just trying to get a better look at the bruise from that tackle during the finals. Looks like it hurts.” Kelley would be lying if she said she hadn’t wanted to have her fingers dance through Emily’s hair every chance she got. Her sorry excuse was apparently enough to cover for her because Sonnett relaxed a little and shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess it still does.” Kelley couldn’t help but notice the way Sonnett’s eyes drifted to the floor and her expression changed as if talking about the tackle made her sick. Kelley picked up on the cue and made quick to change the subject.

“You want to grab lunch later? It could be the same group.” Kelley gestured at the others that were making their way over to the two of them, having finally ordered. Sonnett finally brought her eyes back up to Kelley.

“Sounds fun. Count me in.” Kelley gave Emily’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze just as her name was called out with her order. She went to the counter and grabbed both drinks, handing Sonnett hers upon returning.

Emily sipped it, smiling as she let the caffeine do its job. “Better?” Kelley asked, happy to see Sonnett smiling again.

“Thanks, Kell.”

“Anytime.”

The group made their way back to the hotel just in time for the team meeting that was being held in one of the random conference rooms. Kelley took a seat in between Christen and Emily. Tobin and Lindsey sat on either side of Christen and Emily, with Mal settling on the outside beside Lindsey.

Jill made her way to the front, getting everyone’s attention. “It’s good to see all of you. I know it’s only been a month since our last meet up, but I can assure you our focus is different this time around. This marks the start of our Olympic journey.” Kelley noticed Emily stiffen at the mention of the Olympics. That was odd. Not even Christen seemed to be bothered. “No team has won a World Cup and come back to win gold at the Olympics. I’m ashamed to say we didn’t complete that goal last time around, but the great thing about second chances is that you all have the opportunity to adjust and evolve your game from the last go. I can assure you, every single one of you is a different player from the last time around.” Kelley tried not to think of how Jill’s words somewhat mirrored the words Press had given to her a couple of months ago. _You’re both so different from the people you were a few months ago._ Kelley pushed the thought out of her head. That was the last thing she wanted to be thinking about. “I believe we can win this. So I’m going to need everyone playing their best game and let’s win these next few games, yeah?”

Some let out a few cheers of encouragement, but Kelley could tell the weight of the Olympics was hanging over the team. With the pressure of needing to do better than their 2016 run and the pressure of cutting down the roster, everyone was tense with seriousness. Camp was definitely not going to be all laughs this time around.

“You good?” Kelley’s ears perked up at the sound of Lindsey’s voice. She glanced sideways and noticed how Lindsey had taken Sonnett’s hand. Emily gave a short nod, but she was staring straight ahead at the powerpoint Jill had set up that outlined the next few months. Kelley pulled her eyes away from Sonnett. Lindsey had it covered and Kelley wasn’t sure if it was her place, even if everything in her begged to make sure Emily was in fact okay.

Jill had kept talking until everyone knew the plan for this camp as well as the ones to follow like the back of their hand. “And that does it. I’ll leave you to your off-hours. Remember that baseline is at four.” Jill called out. Everyone got up to leave. Kelley assumed all of her teammates were just as hungry as she was.

“Can we please go get food? I won’t make it to training if I don’t eat something.” Christen complained to Kelley who nodded in agreement.

“That’s the plan. Hey Linds, you coming with?” Kelley had noticed that Lindsey had somewhat pulled Sonnett aside. They were sharing a few words before Lindsey gave Kelley the thumbs up.

“Be there in a sec!” Lindsey tried to make things seem normal, but Emily’s weak smile gave it away. Lindsey turned back to her friend, ignoring the questioning expressions from her teammates.

“What did I say earlier? You’ve got this Em. No matter what, you have to promise me that you won’t let yourself get like this. Jill is going to start taking notice.” Lindsey gave a quick side-glance at her teammates that were still waiting for them. Emily straightened at the mention of Jill taking notice.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Emily mumbled, trying to gather herself. She hated the way her heart rate had picked up at the mention of the Olympics and it wasn’t from excitement. Her hands had suddenly gotten clammy and she had felt every muscle in her body tense. Her ears had started to ring and it was only Lindsey’s hand slipping over hers that had brought her back before she spiraled.

“Don’t apologize. We’re in this together.” Lindsey gave her friend a reassuring smile. Sonnett nodded, matching Lindsey’s smile. They made way to rejoin their lunch group.

“Everything okay?” Christen asked curiously. There was an edge of concern to her voice. Tobin eyed her NWSL teammates suspiciously.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Emily flashed a mischievous smile, but Kelley could see that it didn’t touch her eyes. Lindsey made an effort to match Emily’s smile.

“Right.” Kelley said, breaking the few moments of silence. “So what’re we thinking for lunch?” She asked to no one in particular. Kelley tried not to look at Sonnett. Something was definitely up, but she didn’t want to push until they had a moment of privacy. Until then, she would just have to wonder, but as they made their way to a lunch place that Christen had picked out, Kelley made it her top priority to make Emily laugh every chance she got. She considered her mission complete when Sonnett’s smile finally reached her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to my usual update time! This chapter was super fun to write for some reason. Also, it's relatively a little longer, which is how most of the chapters will be from this point on! 
> 
> And I think I said something about this earlier, but Jill is still the coach for this entire work because like everyone else I was shook when she announced she was stepping down and didn't feel like rewriting in a new coach :)
> 
> Your comments and support on the last chapter was so much fun to see and I love talking with you guys! So feel free to leave more comments or send requests and talk general woso with me at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> I can't wait for you guys to read the next few chapters. They're definitely a rollercoaster, so I hope you're just as excited! As always enjoy!


	11. Let me show you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett goes running.

“It has to be a little better Sonny.” Dawn made a small mark on the notepad she was holding before motioning Sonnett to start the test again. Emily hung her head, making her way to the start of the speed test.

“Sorry.” Emily mumbled, readying herself at the start.

“It’s really okay Sonny. Just a little slower from the last time we did these. I want to put down your best score, so give it another shot.” Dawn reassured Emily. Sonnett nodded, sucking in a deep breath. She shook out her legs, trying to get rid of the heavy feeling that seemed to cling to them. _Be better._

“And go.”

Sonnett broke off in a sprint, catching a glimpse of the green lights that lit up as she sped past them. After the last one, she slowed to a stop, immediately making her way back over to Dawn who was now smiling.

“Better. Rest a little before the next test.” Emily nodded with relief washing through her. _It shouldn’t have taken you two tries._ She tried to push the thought out of her head as she grabbed a water bottle and watched her teammates complete differently baseline tests. Sonnett was startled out of her dazed state when someone threw arms around her from behind. Based on the maniacal laughter that followed, Emily knew it was Kelley. Sonnett tried to force a smile, but ever since the start of basic training, even smiling had felt like an impossible task. _What’s wrong with you? Just smile._

“How’d you do?” Kelley was all smiles.

Sonnett shrugged her shoulders. “Okay. Could have been better.” She didn’t want to admit to Kelley that every single drill she had done today had made her sick with nerves even though they were just stats to build from in the next couple months. She didn’t want to admit that she was miserable and she couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a few seconds before exhaustion hit her or her body seemed to sway with heaviness.

“Oh, well that’s okay. You’ll get the next one.” Kelley reached for the water bottle in Emily’s hand. Sonnett smiled at Kelley’s reassurance.

“And how can you be so sure?” Sonnett made sure to keep her tone sarcastic. No one could know how she was feeling. There were too many important eyes in the same room.

Kelley’s smile widened at Sonnett’s playful tone. “Well, if you must ask. I just so happen to be friends with one of the most hardworking players out there and she just so happens to be stellar at the next test because she may or may not have trained with me for a little bit to prepare for it.” Sonnett’s stomach dropped, knowing what drill Kelley was talking about. To hide her worry, she let out a convincing laugh and tried to focus on the memories Kelley’s words had brought back.

It was before the World Cup and they were a month out from another camp and Kelley and Emily were both back in Georgia for the offseason.

“I don’t understand how you do it. You kick everyone’s ass in it every time.” Emily lazily passed Kelley a ball. They were on a random soccer field. Equipment was strewn throughout and the sun had begun to dip. The two had decided to meet up and get in some last-minute training. Emily had made the excuse at needing some extra training before the World Cup camp and Kelley had gladly made plans, agreeing that she needed some work too.

“The beep test is fairly simple once you get the fundamentals.” Kelley laughed as Sonnett let out an exasperated sigh.

“Only someone who holds the USWNT record for that drill can say that. I don’t think you understand that we- “she gestured between the two of them, “aren’t seeing the same fundamentals.” Kelley scooped up the ball at her feet.

“Let me show you then.” Emily’s face suddenly went red and Kelley tried to make the excuse that it was from all the work that they’d done or the heat, not because of her words. “It really is simple.”

“Fine.” Emily let Kelley explain some simple drills that build your endurance while helping your body learn to conserve energy throughout. By the end of it, they had begun to finish up said drills, getting momentarily distracted by trying to outrace each other across the field.

They both fell to the field in laughter, breathing heavily from the sprinting. Kelley rolled onto her stomach to get a better look at Sonnett that was still laughing towards the sky. Maybe that was the first time she’d noticed the way her heart fluttered at the sight of the sunset against Sonnett, making her blonde hair shine. Kelley tried to ignore the feeling, lying to herself saying that she was just happy to be with a friend. Kelley was still with her ex-girlfriend at the time and actually had made plans to get dinner with her that night. She had been late.

Sonnett had finally stopped laughing and she rolled over to look back at Kelley who was still smiling. “See? Simple.”

~~~

The rest of their teammates had finished up the second to last baseline drill. Sonnett turned back to Kelley. “Let’s see if you’re as good of a teacher as you think you are.” Emily joked, trying to ignore the sick feeling in her stomach that had started to rise as she made her way over with the rest of their teammates to get ready for the beep test.

“Alright, you know how it goes. Miss two and your out. Your final completed run will be the one recorded. Now, I know a good portion of you have been out from club for a while, but do your best and try to match or beat your last score. Go ahead and line up.” Dawn explained. Kelley stood next to Sonnett, slightly bent over, waiting for the signal to start. She turned quickly to whisper to Emily.

“Don’t let me down.” And they started.

Emily tried to remember what Kelley had told her on that field back in Georgia, but all that came to mind was Kelley laughing as she beat Sonnett in their final sprint. _Focus._

Back and forth they ran. And then, players started to drop out. Emily could feel the burning in her lungs and legs as she caught her breath during the short rest period before she readied herself at the line again. Kelley did the same.

Emily could barely hear what stage number they were at by the time she realized it was just her and Kelley left as Ali tapped out. They started again. Emily tried to blink back the pain that rolled through her mind, signaling the start of a headache. She felt sick to her stomach as she crossed the line, having passed another stage. Sonnett had her hands on her knees, ready to tap out, but she could hear the cheers of encouragement from her teammates.

“Come on Sonny!” Lindsey. Sonnett passed another stage.

She passed two more before she finally started to lag behind Kelley. She didn’t make the next one. Emily kneeled to the floor, while her teammates continued to encourage Kelley. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Holy shit, where’d that come from?” Lindsey’s eyes were shining with pride. Sonnett gave her a weak smile and tapped her Lindsey’s hand, still trying to catch her breath. “That was awesome.” Lindsey squeezed Sonnett’s shoulder before rejoining the other’s to cheer on Kelley. Emily wanted to join them, but she felt like she couldn’t pull herself up from the floor. She slowly began to stand, immediately regretting it as stars began to dance across her vision. She hunched over trying to regain her composure. Emily shuffled over to the side, sucking in as much air into her lungs as she could. Everything burned and she still felt sick.

“Well done ladies.” Dawn called out. Kelley had finally met her match. She was also hunched over trying to catch her breath, occasionally straightening up to high five a few of the other players. “Great work today. Remember team dinner at seven and then tomorrow we start the real training.” Sonnett was still hunched over and leaning against one of the walls of the training room. She didn’t even notice Kelley move in next to her.

“What’d I tell you? Simple.” Sonnett let out a laugh, knowing that Kelley was referring to their training session back in Georgia.

“I don’t know if I’d call it that simple. That nearly killed me.” Sonnett joked, but she regretted saying anything because concern flashed across Kelley’s face.

“You okay? You do look a little pale.” Sonnett shrugged her shoulders, trying to keep calm and not slip that she felt like she was going to pass out.

“It’s practically winter. Of course I look pale.” Kelley’s face lightened up. She seemed to relax a little. “I just need to settle down for a little bit and I’ll be good to go.” Sonnett’s nerves were already beginning to die down now that she knew there’d be no more assessing for the rest of the day. She wasn’t sure why she’d felt the way she did. Sure she’d gotten nervous before camps before, but this was different. It was almost crippling and if she didn’t get it under control it would start to mess with other aspects of training besides basic fitness. Still, she was proud of herself for pulling it together to end the day on a high note. She had blown her last beep test score out of the water.

“Hey, well done on the last one Sonny.” Sonnett looked away from Kelley to see Dawn standing in front of them.

“Uh, thanks. I’ve been working on it a lot.” Emily mumbled, trying not to act caught off guard at Dawn’s comment. Unfortunately, words of encouragement from the coaching staff had become sparse for Emily over the past few months, but maybe this would be the camp where that would change.

“Looks like it’s paying off. Keep it up.” Emily gave a short nod with a smile. After Dawn walked away, Kelley grinned and pulled Sonnett into a hug.

“And you told me you were only doing okay.” Kelley said into Sonnett’s ear. They pulled apart from each other. Sonnett was beaming both from Dawn’s comment and how happy Kelley was. It distracted her from how miserable she had felt only moments before. “You were amazing out there.”

“No thanks to you. Plus, it’s only a simple fitness test.” Kelley rolled her eyes.

“You’re too hard on yourself. If I didn’t know any better I thought you were trying to make up for that time I smoked you in Georgia.” Sonnett smiled at the fact that Kelley was also still thinking about Georgia.

“Rematch next time we’re home?” Emily asked quietly. Kelley looked away trying to hide the blush that had risen to her cheeks. She bit back her comment about how any place with Emily felt like home and that she’d gladly race her anytime, anywhere as long as she was there.

“Yeah. Next time we’re home.” The two stayed shoulder-to-shoulder as they made their way back to the vans with their teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So this update is a little later in the day than I had planned to actually get it up, but I finally got around to it! 
> 
> I think I remembered seeing a video somewhere of Sonnett and Kelley being the last two in the beep test at some point (I could be completely wrong and just making this up in my head) so i decided to run with it for a chapter idea lol. 
> 
> Your guys comments and love on the last chapter were the best and I love talking with you all and hearing your thoughts, so don't be afraid to comment some more on this chapter. Also if you want to send requests or just talk general woso, you can head over to my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> This chapter was a little bit of fluff, but I can promise that next chapter is straight fluff so you guys have that to look forward too. Anyways, can't wait for the next update and I hope you all enjoyed!


	12. Coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley listens to music

“Nice one, Em!” Kelley called from across the field as Emily pulled herself up from a slide tackle that had effectively cleared the ball from Alex Morgan’s feet, while completely avoiding getting kneed in the head again.

“Shit.” Alex mumbled, but she nodded with approval at Emily’s defending.

“Run it again!” Jill called out to the players. Emily turned to smile at Kelley, mouthing a ‘thank you’ in her direction. Kelley only winked in response, before readying herself for the next round of offensive players.

They would be playing Scotland tomorrow. Today was filled with last-minute fine-tuning. Jill had decided to run a typical build-up drill that involved a good group of the offense trying to build an attack against the defense with an end goal of scoring.

At the start of the drill, Sonnett had been off to the side, waiting to be rotated in. She hadn’t expected to actually rotate in but, oddly enough, near the end of the drill, Jill had decided to switch out Becky after a small knock with Alex. Emily assumed Jill was just trying to save Becky for the game tomorrow, but Emily was grateful for the brief moment of visibility in training. And she was grateful that she was actually doing well even though she had been over-analyzing every single movement she’d made since she’d been at camp.

They ran the drill over and over until their backline was running like a well-oiled machine. Jill finally called for time. “Bring it in! That was some great work from both offense and defense especially. We play like that? I can see us winning these next three games. I’ll leave you all to clean up. Mandatory dinner at 7 and then meeting at 8:30 to discuss the lineup for tomorrow. See you all then.”

Emily let the feeling of relief wash through her again as she had another moment to breathe without eyes on her. Her anxiety had been through the roof ever since baseline training. Turns out the sick feeling she got could actually result in something worse. The first time was after one of their normal outdoor sessions. By the end of the session, Sonnett found herself sprinting back to the locker room before anyone else to empty the contents in her stomach. The anxiety made it hard to eat or even want to go train but Sonnett had a small pep-talk with herself before every session from that point forward. _You want to go to the Olympics? You have to do this._

Emily felt like she had been floating through the motions. She’d found herself not remembering little bits throughout the day, wondering how she’d gotten to the locker room or if she’d done well at practice. Emily hadn’t had a serious blackout in a while, but those missing bits and pieces started to become more noticeable. She had barely talked to anyone, being sure to avoid being in any Instagram stories from her teammates, in case they noticed her afterward. Every night she would be in bed hours before Kelley, pretending to be fast asleep when Kelley poked her head in to ask her if she wanted to hang out the others. But after two days since baseline training of being a walking zombie, Lindsey finally made the move to snap Sonnett out of it.

It had been before their last training session before Scotland. They were on their way to the field, but Lindsey had tugged on the back of Emily’s pullover so they were separated from the group.

“Okay. So here’s the thing. I know you’re trying to take this camp seriously, but I miss my best friend. We’ve hardly hung out this camp and people are starting to notice that you’re not your usual self. Is there anything you want to talk about?” Lindsey’s voice had remained calm, but Emily already felt herself closing up. It wasn’t good to hear that her name was being passed around in the worried section of conversations.

She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how she could word an explanation that didn’t reveal how practicing made her so anxious it drove her to throw up, or that she was still in pain from time to time from a tackle that happened last week, or that she was on edge all the time because she was worried that she’d blackout at a moments notice and forget an entire day. “I’m good. But you’re right. I’ve just been super focused and I think it’s just sucking the fun out of me.” Emily gave Lindsey a shy smile, feeling genuine guilt for how she’d neglected her friends for the past few days.

Lindsey threw an arm over Sonnett and pulled her close. “It’s okay to be focused, but I don’t like seeing you miserable. And yes I’ve noticed so don’t try to argue. You’ve been doing amazing this camp so don’t be afraid to just let loose once in a while, okay? Remember after the NWSL Championship? You told me to loosen up. Now take your own advice.” Sonnett smiled brightly at Lindsey. It was refreshing to have someone else notice something wrong, but make a point to let you figure it out on your own, while reassuring you along the way. Sonnett really did appreciate Lindsey and she kept a mental note to show her appreciation for her best friend more.

“You’re the best Linds.” Lindsey smirked.

“I know.” Sonnett turned to give Lindsey a proper hug before they rejoined the others ahead of their last practice before Scotland.

“What’re you two planning?” Kelley moved over to sit with them as they put their gear on.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sonnett said jokingly. It was the first joke she’d said all camp. Lindsey grinned, actually filled with happiness at seeing some of normal Emily re-appear.

Kelley simply rolled her eyes, but let a smile creep to her lips. Whatever they had been talking about had removed some of the dark clouds that had seemed to follow Sonnett around for most of the camp. Kelley was grateful. She missed Emily too.

For most of the camp, Kelley had kept her distance, trying to stay true to her off-limits pact. She still made a point of eating with Emily or trying to get her to stay up late to watch TV before they both fell asleep, but Kelley could tell something was wrong and that Emily wasn’t in the right place to share.

Kelley knew the feeling. She hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone about her relationship problems, especially when they had resulted in the breakup until it all fell out like it needed to be set free. Kelley reminded herself that Emily would open up when she felt ready, but it was still hard to watch the blonde seem so devoid of her usual self. Kelley had to bite back the urge to pull Sonnett into a hug and do anything she could to help. Lindsey had already claimed that job and she had already made progress.

Emily was already better at practice today. She was actually smiling after she did something good and Kelley made sure to remind Emily every chance she got that she was presenting some of her best work.

She had stayed true to her off-limits pact, but after two days of barely interacting with Sonnett, enough was enough. Kelley wanted to spend time with Sonnett, even if it was with a larger group. Anything. The past few days had started to hurt Kelley and even though she knew that it was something Sonnett was personally dealing with and not anything she did, Kelley felt the need to make up for the lost time. _Keep it casual._

Practice finished and all Kelley wanted to do was spend time with Sonnett. “Where you headed before dinner?” Kelley popped out of nowhere causing Emily to drop the water bottle she was holding. Kelley was quick to pick it up.

“Uh, thanks.” Emily took the water bottle back. _Don’t be afraid to just let loose once in a while._ Emily quickly pulled on a smile. Not talking to Kelley was the one thing that had begun to eat away at Emily. Trying to put Lindsey’s words into practice, Emily let her own heart take the lead, something she never really did. “And I’m headed wherever you’re headed.” Kelley’s eyes widened slightly before she brushed it off with a laugh.

“You’re really putting me on the spot like that?” She nudged Emily with her arm as they wandered back to the team bus. Emily thought about it for a moment, wondering if it was too late to back out. _Fuck it._

“Why, yes Kelley. Lead the way.” Kelley laughed making a grand gesture of letting Sonnett on the bus first. Lindsey motioned for Emily to come resume her normal bus seat next to her. Sonnett turned back to Kelley momentarily, but Kelley motioned her forward. Emily took her seat, somewhat worried that Kelley was backing out of any possible time they were going to spend together before dinner.

Sonnett started to slide her headphones on to listen to music for the ride back, but she felt the soft buzz of her phone. She unlocked it, wondering who would have texted her.

**1 new message from Kelley O’Hara**

Confused, Emily turned back to look at Kelley who was already looking at her. She motioned for Emily to go back to her phone. Sonnett smiled, wondering what the brunette was up to. She opened the message, being careful that only her eyes could read it.

**I’ll explain more back at the hotel, but when we get back, dress casual. We’re going to explore a little.**

Emily couldn’t hide her smile at this point.

**Mysterious. Count me in.**

**I was going to take you no matter what your decision was. Glad I have your approval though.**

Emily couldn’t wait to get off the bus. She felt giddy and all she wanted to do was spend an afternoon with Kelley. As they pulled up to the hotel, Lindsey nudged Sonnett to get her attention. “You doing anything before dinner?” She asked casually.

Emily didn’t actually know what Kelley had planned or who else would be there, so she said, “I’m going to go explore downtown Seattle for a bit. Clear my head.” Lindsey gave her a reassuring smile, still glad to see Sonnett more present for once this past week.

“Sounds good. Buy yourself something nice from the market or something.” Sonnett gave Lindsey a nod, a smile in place.

Emily had to stop herself from running back to her room. She casually took the elevator with most of her teammates, but she couldn’t help but glance at Kelley on the other side, who was staring ahead, but Sonnett could see her trying to hold back a grin.

Once they were away from the others, Kelley and Emily raced back to their room. Kelley burst through the door, immediately turning back to Sonnett who was right behind her. “Okay go change quick.” Emily shrugged off her bag.

“If you wanted me to undress all you have to do is ask.” Emily said sarcastically without really thinking. Once she realized what she said from the expression Kelley gave her that looked like a mixture of amusement and embarrassment, Emily quickly tried to regain her composure. “I meant I’m going to go shower first. Right. Sorry.” She moved past Kelley before she could say anything and quickly went into the bathroom. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ Emily reminded herself that this was just her hanging out with Kelley as a friend. Nothing more.

Sonnett sat patiently on her bed, waiting for Kelley to come out of the bathroom. Emily was wearing black leggings, a grey t-shirt, and a jean jacket. She practically jumped from her bed when she heard the bathroom door open. Emily’s eyes widened a little.

Kelley had on a pair of jeans and a white cable-knit sweater. Her wet hair was pulled neatly into a bun. Everything about her was effortless. “You took all the hot water.” Kelley frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You look nice.” Emily wanted to slap herself across the face. _KEEP IT FRIENDLY._

Kelley immediately broke into a smile. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.” Emily rubbed the back of her neck trying to think before she said anything else.

“So, what do you have planned for the next two hours?” Kelley’s smile widened.

“You’ll see.” Kelley motioned for Emily to follow.

As they waited for their Uber, Emily fidgeted with her jean jacket, trying to get out the butterflies that had started to build up. Kelley just stood calmly until she recognized their ride. Emily got in without a word and let Kelley confirm the destination. Emily turned to Kelley.

“So, are you going to tell me where you’re taking me or is this just one big murder plot.” Kelley laughed.

“Patience. It’s nothing big so I don’t want to get your hopes up.” Kelley turned away, pulling at a loose thread on her sweater. Emily raised an eyebrow. Was Kelley actually just as nervous as she was?

Sonnett stared out the window, watching buildings pass by. They made their way past Pike Place Market, going a little further into the city before the pulled to a stop. “Thank you!” Kelley motioned for Sonnett to get out.

They were in front of a quaint building. Kelley turned back to Sonnett. She was still messing with her sweater. “Okay. This is one of my favorite places in Seattle. I know it’s not really that exciting, but I figured you like music, right? I mean you’re always listening to it and you’re always dancing, so I figured this would be a fun place to start. Plus, Pike Place Market is like down the street so we could always go there too if you get bored. You don’t have to like it-“ Emily cut her off, grabbing her by the shoulders.

“Kell, stop rambling. I’m sure I’ll love it.” Kelley seemed to relax a little. “Now could you actually explain where we are?” Sonnett gestured to the building behind them.

“It’s a record shop.” Kelley said a little shyly. “Whenever I’m in Seattle, I like to come here and look through the music and just listen to a few songs. It’s a little escape and I just figured with how serious this week has been, we both needed a distraction.” Emily smiled.

“That sounds wonderful. Lead the way.” Kelley turned to go into the store. It had tables filled with boxes of records. There was some older music playing from the record player set in the corner. An elderly guy that Emily assumed was the owner, peered over his book, recognition showing on his face.

“Kelley! Long-time no see!” He waved to her and Kelley waved back, approaching his little desk area.

“Haven’t been to Seattle lately, but I had to stop by before I left. I also brought a friend for once.” Kelley stepped aside.

“Emily.” She offered her hand to the man who wrapped it in a firm handshake.

“John. Kelley has been coming here for so many years and I’ve never met one of her friends. Feel free to browse, and you can play anything you want on that record player over there.” Sonnett nodded, suddenly feeling special at the fact that she was the first person to be brought to one of Kelley’s favorite places.

She turned to see Kelley already milling through the hundreds of records. Sonnett moved to stand at her side. Her fingers glided over each record. “I can see why you like this place.” She said quietly. Kelley chuckled.

“It’s quiet, which is ironic because it’s a music store. They have a really good selection. You should pick something to play.” Kelley motioned back to the record player that had finished the track that had been playing earlier.

Sonnett nodded and continued to look through the records. It was mostly older music with a few modern albums, but for some reason, after hovering over it for a little bit, she pulled out one particular record. Kelley peered over her shoulder.

“Good choice.” Emily made her way over to the record player and placed down Leon Bridges’ latest album. Kelley was at her side.

“I like to place the needle at a random spot on the record. It adds a little unpredictability.” Emily did as she was told. Music started to fill the small space.

Kelley leaned against the walls, momentarily closing her eyes. Emily listened to the lyrics of the song, trying to figure out what song it was. Kelley beat her to it. “Forgive You.” Kelley smiled to herself, but Emily noticed how it seemed sad. Suddenly, understanding the context of the song as it reached the chorus, Emily felt guilty for accidentally playing this song instead of any other one on the album. Emily didn’t want to pry, but she decided that she’d already let enough slip tonight, what was one more.

“Do you still think about her?” Her voice was barely above the sound of the music. Kelley looked her in the eyes before nodding.

“It’s funny actually. I listened to this song right after the breakup. That’s how I recognized the album and the song.” Emily only nodded before she went back over to the box she had found the record. She pulled out an older album from the same artist. Emily carefully stopped the previous track and placed down the new record. Kelley gave her a suspicious look.

“I’m going to start it from the beginning, okay?” Kelley nodded. After the song started to play, Emily moved back next to Kelley. Without really thinking, she pulled Kelley into a hug. The brunette didn’t resist and slid her arms around her. As the song played, Emily felt Kelley rest her head on her shoulder. She hadn’t even noticed that they’d begun to sway to the song.

“I know it’s the same singer, but what song is this?” Kelley asked softly.

They continued to sway, and Emily tried to stop the smile that reached her lips. She had only remembered listening to this song once and immediately thinking of Kelley. “Coming Home.” Emily felt Kelley’s arms around her tighten.

“I like it.”

They let the song play out, finally separating when the record shifted to the next track. Kelley made her way over to the record player and stopped it before slipping the record back into its paper casing. She held it up in front of Emily.

“Souvenir?” She asked.

“I don’t own a record player.” Emily could still feel Kelley’s arms around her.

“Well, then I’ll just have to buy you a record player. Not now, I didn’t bring enough money.” Emily couldn’t tell if Kelley was joking, but she let her buy the record anyway. They both said goodbye to John before they walked together down the street towards Pike Place Market.

They walked through the market, showing each other things, laughing, and just enjoying time together. The two hours melted away and before long, Kelley heard the reminder on her phone that signaled it was time to go back to the hotel for the team dinner. Emily tried not to frown as Kelley ordered an Uber back.

As they waited, Emily nudged Kelley. “This was really fun Kelley. Thank you.”

Kelley smiled at the ground before meeting Emily’s eyes. “I’m glad you had fun. I think its only fair now that you take me to one of your favorite places in return.” Emily laughed.

“You have yourself a deal.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, when I tell you I stressed out way too much about what songs to pick for this idea I had, let me tell you. I spent hours trying to find the 'right songs' and then ended up picking these two from Leon Bridges because it just so happened to be the music I was listening to when I wrote this. I think I resonated more with the lyrics in terms of their relation to the story, so if you're curious about the songs, give the lyrics a look and maybe you'll get what I was trying to do.
> 
> This scene was actually kind of inspired by my first visit to Seattle. I'd found this little record store and fell in love with the whole set up and feeling it gave off. So when I was thinking about how to add in a 'date' that isn't really a date to this chapter, I ended up with this. Hopefully you guys liked it as much as I do.
> 
> Your comments and love on this work still blow me away. Feel free to keep leaving comments because I love taking your thoughts into consideration for future chapters. You can also leave requests or talk general woso with me at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> You guys are the best, and I truly love updating for you all and hearing your feedback. As always hope you enjoyed and I can't wait for you all to read the next one.


	13. You look nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett can't sleep.

“Oh, you’re all dressed up.” Lindsey commented as Emily sat next to her. Lindsey’s eyes wandered over to the other figure that had been behind Emily. “And Kelley also looks put together. What’s the occasion?” Lindsey’s tone was playful, but Emily felt herself tense a little.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Not sure why Kelley’s dressed up.” Sonnett let out a nervous laugh. She kept her eyes on Lindsey, fighting every urge to look at Kelley as she took her seat between Alex and Allie.

Lindsey gave Sonnett a suspicious look but decided to let it go. “Right. How was downtown?” Sonnett’s eyes went wide, suddenly thinking that Lindsey had seen her and Kelley together. She didn’t know why she was all flustered. If anything their teammates would just think they were out having fun as _friends._

“What?”

“You told me earlier that you were going to go explore downtown or did I miss something. Why’re you so jittery all of a sudden?” Lindsey was nervously laughing. Sure she’d seen Sonnett in some of the weirdest moods, especially as of late, but this giddy, nervous thing sitting next to her was definitely one of the strangest. _Did she meet someone?_ Lindsey pushed that idea away. There was no way. Sonnett only had two hours in between practice and dinner and with Sonnett’s track record of past relationships, Lindsey knew that she wouldn’t have been able to grab anyone in that time frame.

“Oh, right. Downtown. Yeah, it was great. And I had coffee. That’s why I’m all over the place. Promise.” Sonnett started to notice their teammates getting up to grab food from the tables. “You hungry? I’m starving. Come on.”

“Uh, yeah.” Lindsey was still confused, but she followed her friend anyways.

Sonnett was clutching her plate and made her way to the food line, only to immediately turn around. Kelley was at the back, casually talking with Alex. “You know what? Come to think of it, I think I’ll wait till the line dies down.”

Lindsey just looked at her like she was crazy. “Oh for God’s sake Sonny, just get in line. Seriously, what has gotten into you? Did they put something in your coffee? Also, why are you drinking coffee this late?” Kelley had overheard Lindsey and Sonnett talking, or were they arguing? She turned and her eyes met Emily’s. They hadn’t spoken much on their drive back to the hotel, and every second was torture. It didn’t help that their hands had literally been inches apart the entire time. All Kelley had wanted to do was slip her hands into Emily’s.

Sonnett rolled her eyes at Lindsey before getting back in line. Kelley gave her a smile, pretending as if it was the first time she’d seen her this afternoon. Apparently, Sonnett had the same idea because she said, “You look nice.” Kelley forced down a laugh because Emily had said the same thing earlier in the hotel room before the left for downtown. Sonnett started to give Kelley a worried look because she still hadn’t said anything.

“Thanks. You too.” Kelley straightened, letting an endearing smile slip. Kelley was still thinking about the last two hours. She was still thinking about the way Emily had held her and how they seemed to fit together as if they had always meant to find each other. Funny how Emily had picked that song called ‘Coming Home’ because in that moment, Kelley had definitely felt like she was home.

They all ate amongst the soft chatter of the whole team. Kelley caught herself staring at Sonnett a few times, only for the blonde to glance right back and try to hide a smile as she resumed her conversation with Rose. Something was different between them. Kelley didn’t know how long she could ignore her feelings.

Jill finally came in to tell them it was almost time for the team meeting. Emily and Kelley sat on opposite sides of the room, but Kelley still smiled whenever Sonnett’s eyes wandered over to her.

“Alright, big game tomorrow. Here is the formation we’re running and then I’ll get into who’s starting for tomorrow’s match.” Emily began to settle into her seat, expecting the usual blurb about their tactics before Jill listed out one of their usual lineups. But, as Jill finally got around to the lineup, Emily’s ears perked up at her own name.

“Sonny, you’ll be at center back with Becky.” Emily’s eyes went wide with shock. Sure it was just a friendly, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d started for the USWNT. Lindsey squeezed her hand, pride shining in her eyes. She’d gotten the start too.

“Get some sleep. Let’s bring home a couple more wins.” A few let out some cheers as everyone headed back to their rooms to get some sleep. It was already starting to get late and Jill was stricter about sleep schedules right before game days. Yet, sleep was the last thing on Emily’s mind.

_I’m starting._ “You’re starting!” Once they’d exited the room, Lindsey wrapped her arms around Sonnett and spun her around. “What’d I tell you?” They both started laughing from giddiness and excitement.

“You better score.” Sonnett said as Lindsey set her down. She wanted to move the conversation away from herself. Even though she was genuinely excited and proud to get the start, it started to bring up her nerves again. She didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Lindsey chuckled. “I’ll do my best as long as you help get a clean sheet.” The corner of Emily’s mouth slid up.

“For you? Anything.” The two had their arms thrown over each other until they split to go to their separate rooms. When Sonnett opened the door to her room, she was pleasantly surprised to find Kelley already there. She was rummaging through her suitcase.

“Hi.” Emily said softly. It caused Kelley to jump a little. Emily smirked, making her way over to her own suitcase to grab something to sleep in.

“That’s it? Just hi?” Sonnett stopped going through her suitcase, turning to Kelley. She had suddenly gotten nervous, wondering if she’d forgotten something important. Before Sonnett could ask, Kelley continued. “You’re fucking starting!” Kelley practically jumped into Emily’s arms. This embrace was less delicate than the one they’d shared downtown, but Emily grinned at how seamless it felt.

Emily suddenly remembered Kelley’s name also being mentioned in the lineup. She pulled back. “So are you!” She matched Kelley’s excitement and the two just stood there smiling for a moment at each other’s victory for the day.

Kelley let out a soft laugh. “Together.” She whispered.

Sonnett felt the heat rise to her cheeks, but she went along with it anyways. “Starting together.” Kelley nodded.

“Winning together.” Emily smirked. Kelley’s eyes were still locked on hers with a lopsided smile still spread across her face.

“That’s the plan.”

~~~

Emily couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know how many times she’d rolled over in the darkness, trying to find some comfortable way to finally fall asleep. Her eyes glanced at the red light coming from the clock on the nightstand. 2:00 AM.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” She whispered into the darkness. Emily stared at the ceiling. She heard Kelley move and Emily made sure she stayed still, hoping she hadn’t woken her.

“Em? Are you awake?” _Shit._ Kelley’s voice was sleepy.

“No.” She whispered back before she snapped her mouth shut, knowing she shouldn't have said anything if she'd actually been asleep. Suddenly there was a click and the nightstand lamp was on. Emily turned to Kelley to see her rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

“What’re you doing up?” Kelley yawned. Emily tried not to smile at how cute Kelley looked when she was sleepy. “It’s 2 AM.” Kelley moved into a sitting position.

“I was asleep.” Emily lied. Kelley gave her an ‘are you serious?’ look.

“I could hear you moving around and the ‘for fuck’s sake’ didn’t help your case.” Emily let out a laugh, making Kelley smile through her sleepy haze. “What’s keeping you up?”

Emily had never told anyone how anxious playing with the USWNT made her feel and not in an excited way. She didn’t plan on going into specifics, but maybe talking would help her fall asleep. “I’m nervous about tomorrow.” She said simply.

“Okay.” Kelley paused to turn towards Sonnett, prompting the blonde to sit up. “Let’s talk about it.” Emily took a deep breath, trying to figure out how she was going to explain things.

“Well, before every practice, game, anything, I start to feel anxious. I start to think about what I’ll do wrong and how I can’t mess up because everything I do is filed away under why I should or should not be on this team. And as happy as I am to have gotten the start for the game, I immediately start to wonder if I’ll mess it up.” Sonnett hadn’t been looking at Kelley so she hadn’t noticed her get up until she was sat on Emily’s bed right in front of her. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Emily began to backtrack. “It’s stupid. It’s just a friendly. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Kelley immediately put a hand over Sonnett’s to stop her before pulling her hand back, suddenly very aware of the brief contact. “It’s not stupid.” Kelley said firmly. Emily finally looked at Kelley. Kelley noticed how Emily's eyes were bloodshot. _Has she been getting any sleep?_ “How long have you been feeling like this? And have you told anyone?”

“I guess since before the World Cup. I was so worried about not making the team that I went to Australia in the off-season to get back on track and to keep my mind off of it. Then after the World Cup, all I could think about were the Olympics. Lindsey knows.” Sonnett kept out the fact that Lindsey only knew the brief version. This version was the same one she was presenting to Kelley. The brunette sat quietly for a moment.

“I don’t like seeing you like this. Is that why you were so distant at the start of camp?” Kelley started to put together some of the pieces. Emily nodded.

“Apparently it paid off though. I mean I got the start.” Emily slouched a little, immediately hating how her sentence sounded. Kelley frowned.

“No. You got the start because you worked your ass off. You’re on this team because you’re a phenomenal player. Don’t discredit yourself.” Emily was slightly caught off guard by how serious Kelley sounded so she only nodded. “Promise me if you ever start to feel like this you come to me, okay? I’ll do my best to talk you down. You shouldn’t feel alone.”

“Okay.” Sonnett agreed, even though Lindsey had urged her to do the same thing and she’d still neglected to tell her everything, even with how bad things had been the past two weeks. Kelley gave Emily’s shoulder a squeeze before getting off of her bed.

“Now get some sleep. We have a game to win.” Kelley smiled before turning the lights out.

Sonnett settled back into bed, finally starting to let the need for sleep pull at her. Maybe letting Kelley in a little had eased her up. Maybe she was getting better. The last 24 hours had been some of the best she’d had in a while and she hadn’t had a major blackout for more than a couple days. Emily relaxed at the idea of finally having some sort of grip on her life before drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett playing CB with her idol? The dream. This is kind of a filler chapter, but i think it sets up the plot a little more for the absolute rollercoaster that is the next two chapters. I promise I'll try and go easy, but I have a habit of making the story plunge into drama after these two finally have something good :). Sorry about that.
> 
> All of your kind words and love on the last chapter were some of my favorite! I loved talking with you guys and I get so excited seeing that you guys are waiting for each update. Feel free to keep commenting your thoughts or you can reach me over at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> You're all the best, and I promise things will slowly fall into place. Hope you guys enjoyed and can't wait for the next one.


	14. What if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett goes for a walk.

“It’s almost show time!” Pinoe yelled out in the locker room. They had thirty minutes till they walked out in front of a sell-out crowd to play Scotland. Emily could barely hear the cheers that proceeded Megan’s announcement. She still had her headphones on and her cleats were unlaced with her socks pulled down. If anyone took one look at her, it definitely didn’t look like she was about to play.

Warm-ups had gone off without a hitch, but as the minutes ticked by, Emily knew the feeling building up inside of her. When they had returned to the locker room before the walkout, Emily had undone her cleats, and seated herself at her locker, trying to suck in deep breathes. _This cannot be happening right now._

She felt like she was underwater and all her mind could focus on was the little voice in her head that said over and over _you better not screw this up._ She was so distracted she didn’t even notice the figure kneeling in front of her. Emily blinked a few times to see Kelley methodically tying her shoes. Kelley looked up as Sonnett pulled off her headphones.

“What’re you doing?” Emily asked.

“Tying your shoes. Grab your things and meet me in the tunnel.” Kelley said sternly. Having finished tying Emily’s cleats, Kelley got up and made her way out of the locker room, already dressed for the walkout.

Sonnett quickly pulled up her socks and fixed the rest of her gear, being sure to add a few more knots to her laces. She pulled on her jacket and slipped out of the locker room. Everyone else was still casually chatting with music filling the space, getting out last-minute jitters before the game.

Sonnett wandered out to the tunnel to see Kelley leaning against one of the walls, waiting for her. There was no one else except for a few security guards. The stadium lights shone through, making only Kelley’s silhouette visible. Sonnett could hear the cheers from the fans that seemed to make the stadium shake. She approached Kelley.

“What’s up?” She asked innocently, already knowing where the conversation was heading.

Sonnett braced herself. Instead, Kelley kept staring at the stadium lights, listening to the chants of the crowd. “Pretty isn’t it.” Sonnett could barely hear her, but she was honestly caught off guard by the fact she wasn’t getting a lecture.

Emily followed Kelley’s gaze before closing her eyes and soaking in the sounds around her. The crowd seemed to chant at the same beat as her heartbeat. Her nerves felt alive and as she took a deep breath she could feel a smile creep to her lips. She lett the sounds, smells, and atmosphere wash over her. Her eyes refocused on Kelley. “Yeah. It is.” Kelley was looking at Sonnett. She wasn’t smiling, but her eyes were bright as she had watched Emily slowly relax and for a split second, Kelley thought she looked peaceful.

“You looked a little lost in the locker room. Just wanted to remind you of that feeling. The one you’re feeling here, not back in there.” Kelley gave Emily a once over to make sure the other hadn’t forgotten anything. “You’re ready. You’re going to play amazing and I’ll be there every step of the way.” Kelley’s hand had slid to Emily’s arm. The brief touch set Emily’s skin on fire and her thoughts wandered to what it felt like to really be touched by Kelley.

“Together?” Emily asked with just the right volume to be heard over the crowd.

Kelley beamed. “Start together, win together.” She gave Emily a firm nod, before acknowledging their teammates that had started to trail into the tunnel. Her hand had dropped as if it had never been there in the first place.

They organized themselves in a line, a few jumping up and down or rolling their shoulders. No one was smiling. Everyone had their own game face and they carried that energy with them as they walked out of the tunnel.

The sounds of the stadium filled Emily’s ears and the rest was a blur. From the anthem, to the starting whistle, to her first tackle, to a goal by Christen, to the first half being called, to being back in the locker room. Emily refocused, trying to comprehend the last fifty minutes or so.

“We’re playing well out there, but being up only one goal is not good enough. Our defense has been solid, but I still think we can incorporate every player into the attack more.” There were mumbles of agreements amongst the players as the captains went over how they could improve. Kelley was sitting at her locker. Emily was sitting on the floor next to her, having decided to stay near Kelley instead of finding an actual chair. Lindsey had done the same, finding her place next to Sonnett.

After Jill had explained their tactics for the second half, Lindsey leaned over to talk to Sonnett. “You’re playing amazing Sonny.” Emily chuckled, pushing Lindsey lightly with her elbow.

“Thanks. I could say the same about you.” It was true, Lindsey had been a key part in controlling most of the midfield, making the defense’s job significantly easier. Lindsey shrugged her shoulders at the comment.

“I should have had that goal.” Emily understood why her friend wasn’t as overjoyed with her own performance. Lindsey had gotten her head on a cross that had been perfectly set up, only for it to wide. The look on Lindsey’s face after she’d seen the ball go out had said it all. She'd had a few other misses, and Emily could tell Lindsey was starting to get frustrated.

“Hey, you’ll get one. You’ve been pressing their defense pretty much this whole game. And if I know you as well as I think I do, I can confirm you’ll get a goal. Don’t sweat it. You’ve been doing a lot on the field. A goal isn’t going to change the fact that you’ve been playing extremely well.” Lindsey finally smiled and Sonnett mentally cheered at the small victory.

“When did you become so wise?” Lindsey joked.

“When haven’t I been?” Sonnett played along. At that, Lindsey rolled her eyes.

“Do you need evidence because I have plenty?” Sonnett just shook her head laughing. She felt good. Her defense had been strong and the few times Kelley had looked her way to reassure her had definitely helped. The only issue was that they still had a second half and they were only up one goal. _Just keep playing your game. You’re good. Don’t ruin this._

Emily brought herself out of her thoughts at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t even have to turn and look up to know it was Kelley’s. “Only 45 more minutes.” She said as if she’d read Sonnett’s thoughts and was trying to ease her nerves. Emily smiled gratefully, nodding before getting to her feet. _Just 45 more minutes._ What could go wrong?

“You ready?” Kelley had both her hands on Sonnett’s shoulders as they waited to make their way out to the field for the second half. Emily had that giddy feeling again, and she wasn’t sure if it was the start of her normal anxiety before playing or if was because every touch from Kelley, no matter how brief, felt like electricity.

“Definitely. How’re you feeling?” Sonnett giggled as she dragged Kelley to her side. Emily didn’t care that she was being so touchy. She deserved to relax and not overthink things for once after these past few days.

“I’m ready.” Kelley was also grinning, trying to let the last few minutes of laughs slip out until it was time to get serious.

The two were shocked out of their brief moment when Lindsey pulled up beside them. “Are you guys planning how to get a shut out?” She asked jokingly. She bit back the urge to smirk at Sonnett.

When her eyes had found Sonnett with Kelley, she’d originally stayed back. This had been going on for days now. Lindsey would see Sonny with Kelley and instead of joining them, she found herself noticing the way Sonnett angled her body so it was closer to Kelley, or how Kelley’s eyes would linger on Emily even after she’d finished talking. Once she’d noticed the little details, Lindsey’s silent observations started to turn into suspicion. _Was there something between them?_

No, there couldn’t be. But what if? Sure, Kelley was friendly with almost anyone, but the way she looked at Emily and the way she touched her, it had a certain delicacy that was more than friendly. Lindsey had only ever seen Kelley act this way with one other person. And after a bit more thinking, she realized that she’d never seen Sonnett this way. How had she missed it?

Lindsey’s remembered when her joking idea about two of her friends together actually became a possibility. It was after their last team dinner. Lindsey thought back to where both Emily and Kelley had been the only ones not dressed casually and how awkward Emily had been. It was all starting to click into place when Lindsey had caught Kelley sneaking several glances at Emily when she wasn’t looking only for Sonnett to do the same. Lindsey had fought the urge to immediately pull Emily aside and ask how long things had been like this with Kelley. Instead, she’d waited. And she was still waiting for the right moment to talk to Sonnett. So, when she saw them in the tunnel, she slowly approached them, feeling slightly guilty at interrupting whatever was going on between them as she tried to remain casual. Lindsey had told herself that she shouldn’t make a big deal until she brought up the topic with Emily. Still, it was funny to watch the two jump apart and suddenly become very shy around each other. Again, _how had she missed it?_

“Definitely. You planning how to get another goal?” Sonnett matched Lindsey’s playful tone. Lindsey finally smirked. She couldn’t wait to talk to Emily about this later.

“I’ll do my best.”

Sonnett rolled her eyes. “When do you not?” She was back to her joking self and Kelley had eased up as well, joining in with the light-hearted conversation. The cheering broke them out of it, signaling the beginning of the second half.

Lindsey got that goal. The first person she ran too was Sonnett who practically jumped into her arms with excitement. “What’d I tell you?” Emily yelled above the cheers of the stadium. A mere 20 minutes later and they were up 3-0 with the help of Alex.

Emily had started to relax, easing into her play and doing what she does best. She felt like she could run for miles and her nerves were firing with excitement instead of anxiety.

Things were going smoothly until they weren’t. Emily had decided to incorporate herself more into the attack. She’d been able to dribble and pass her way up through the midfield only to have one of Scotland’s players come at her. She’d meant to pass around them, but the ball deflected and popped up. With Sonnett’s momentum carrying her forward, she’d meant to head it on to either Christen or Tobin, but the Scotland player had ducked, sending Emily flying over her. Emily felt the wind get knocked out of her as she landed on her side.

Sonnett stayed on the ground a moment, just trying to catch her breath. As she tried to pull herself up, she felt hands on her back. “Sonnett, Jesus. Are you okay?” Emily peered up to see Kelley. Apparently, the ball had been cleared out, and the ref had momentarily stopped the play to see if she was okay. Sonnett only nodded, still trying to fill her lungs with air again. Kelley helped her up. As they made their way back to defense and Emily waved the ref off, Kelley stayed by Sonnett’s side as they broke into a jog. “You sure you’re okay?” Kelley didn’t want to sound too worried, but every time Sonnett got into any tackle, Kelley found herself holding her breath like she had during the NWSL Championship. And when Emily didn’t immediately get up, Kelley’s mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario.

Emily’s breathing seemed a little ragged, but she flashed a smile. “Yeah, just didn’t expect her to duck like that.” She let out a little laugh, wincing at the pain that brushed over her side.

Kelley tried to laugh, but it came out all nervous. “Never thought I’d see you quite literally fly over someone. But I’ll take it. Let’s finish this match without injuries, yeah?” Emily nodded, giving Kelley’s shoulder one last squeeze before they separated from each other.

The game ended at 3-0. Cheers erupted from the stadium and by the final whistle, Emily was grateful for it to be over. Her ribs and hip still felt bruised and the adrenaline from playing was starting to die down. It was late in the night and as the team got ready to go back to the hotel, Sonnett could feel sleep pulling at her.

“That was awesome. You played amazing.” Lindsey and Emily were waiting their turn to board the bus. Sonnett smiled softly before repositioning her bag so it would stop brushing against her side.

“I could say the same to you.” Emily motioned for Lindsey to get on the bus. Sonnett settled into an aisle seat, grateful to finally relax. Kelley sat across from them, and Emily couldn’t help but smile as she saw her fellow defender slide into her seat. It was as if Kelley’s presence was enough to brighten any moment. Lindsey noticed the smile.

“Hey Sonn, I have to ask you something later okay?” Lindsey said casually, trying not to give anything away or make things awkward.

“Okay.” Sonnett thought nothing of it, although she wasn’t sure why Lindsey couldn’t just ask her now. Too tired to think about it too much, Sonnett closed her eyes. She wasn’t sleeping, but she was finally letting the relief of making it through the game course through her.

Emily was startled out of her peace when the bus hit a minor pothole, causing her to bump into the armrest. She winced at the contact with her ribs and hip still sore from her last tumble. Emily still had her eyes closed so she didn’t take notice of the way Kelley had straightened at the sight of Sonnett’s strained face.

The bus pulled up in front of the hotel, lurching to a stop. Sonnett awkwardly stood from her seat and slung her bag over her opposite side. Once they’d hopped off the bus, Sonnett had planned to walk back in with Lindsey, but she felt a hand pull at her wrist, keeping her near the entrance while the rest of their teammates made their way inside. “Em, are you sure your side is okay? You seem to be moving a little stiff.” Kelley’s eyes stared into hers with endearing worry. The corner of Sonnett’s mouth slid up, surprised that she’d taken notice.

“I’m fine Kell, really. It’s just going to be a bruise. I promise.” Kelley slumped, pretending to be annoyed.

“So it won’t hurt if I do this?” Kelley made a move to poke Emily’s side, but Emily jumped out of the way, laughing simultaneously. Kelley was laughing as she pulled Emily back by the shoulders, slowly letting her hands slide down her arms. Emily’s breath hitched and she brought her eyes to Kelley’s. Going back to their shared room sounded pretty good right about now. But then she saw her.

Kelley was still laughing until she saw Sonnett’s eyes focus on something behind her. The joy had immediately drained from her face as she pulled her arms away. “Em, what is it?” Emily only shook her head and turned to go back into the hotel. “Em, wait-“ Kelley started to follow, wondering what was wrong, but she was cut off by the sound of her own name.

“Kelley.” She froze, recognizing the voice immediately. Kelley turned to see her ex-girlfriend.

Emily was already making her way through the lobby when she made the mistake of looking back. Kelley had her arms folded and she was talking with her ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t look mad. Emily was waiting for the elevator when she made the same mistake of taking a second look only to see their hands gently placed in each other’s.

Sonnett rushed back to her room, trying to keep her composure until she was behind closed doors. Once alone, she immediately dropped her things and sat on her bed, letting the tears finally fall. _You should have known._ She thought to herself.

She’d really let herself think that things with Kelley were starting to feel different. And Sonnett hated the feeling that rose in her chest at the sight of Kelley with her ex-girlfriend. It was like the air had been knocked out of her all over again. She could feel her heart slowly fracturing as she criticized herself for letting it get this far in the first place.

After a few more moments, she angrily stood from the bed and made her way to the bathroom to wash the tears off her face. Her eyes were red from crying. She was still in her USA gear and everything in her just wanted to take it off. She wanted to get out of this hotel and away from anyone she knew, suddenly feeling like she was suffocating.

Sonnett quickly changed into the outfit she’d worn out with Kelley, hating how she’d associated said outfit with Kelley, before storming out of her hotel room, completely forgetting her key card and phone. She couldn’t think straight, all she could think of was the way Kelley’s ex had stood there waiting for Kelley to come back to her. And she had.

Emily told herself she just needed a walk to clear her head. She didn’t really think about how she planned to get out of the team dinner that night or how she planned to sneak back into the hotel without being noticed by the coaching staff. Curfew was very much present, even after games.

But curfews be damned. That was the last thing Emily was thinking about as she made her way out the front doors. To her surprise, she didn’t see Kelley or her ex out front. Sonnett realized she was relieved because she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to explain her sudden exit from the hotel to Kelley.

Still feeling suffocated, she walked down the street, suddenly on the verge of tears as she felt her head start to pound with each step. Emily sucked in a shaky breath. _You need to calm down._

Emily wasn’t quite sure how far away from the hotel she’d gotten until she finally recognized a building. It was the coffee shop she’d gone to with Kelley and their teammates the first day of this camp. But, Emily didn’t stay to reminisce. Instead, she followed the sound of music coming from a well-lit building about a block away.

Sonnett slowly approached the building, assuming it was a bar, finding it curious that the music seemed to drown out the headache that had slowly begun to form. She peered up at the sign of the building, which was illuminated in fluorescent light. Emily blinked a few times, feeling raindrops fall onto her face. _When had it started raining?_

Emily ducked into the bar, trying to avoid the rain. The music was a lot louder on the inside and she noticed how it had sort of a club feel to it. Emily wandered around before taking a spot at the bar. She didn’t have any money on her so she waved the bartender away when he asked if she wanted anything. She people watched until she noticed a pair of eyes looking back at her. It was a girl with brunette hair and delicate features. For some reason, Sonnett started to think about Kelley again even though the girl resembled her in no way aside from the brunette hair. She was still thinking about Kelley when the bartender tapped her on the shoulder and handed her a drink, saying it was paid for by someone else.

Normally, Sonnett wouldn’t accept drinks from strangers, but her mind was all over the place and having realized she’d lost the girl in the crowd only for her to reappear and slide onto the adjacent bar seat next to Emily, she made the decision that one drink wouldn’t hurt. She was several sips in and before she knew it, the brunette’s lips were on hers. Sonnett was startled at first, not expecting their casual conversation to end so abruptly, but she found herself getting lost in the music and welcoming the fuzzy feeling of alcohol that dulled the pounding in her head. So she’d leaned in, closing her eyes and tasted the lipstick of the woman whose name she hadn’t even learned.

But, when she opened her eyes it felt like her feet had been swept out from under her. Gone was the body heat of the crowded bar, the taste of lipstick and alcohol, the loud music, the fluorescent lights. Emily stood outside completely soaked as it was pouring with rain coming from what seemed like every direction. Emily numbly took in her surroundings, noticing how the streets seemed to be filled with no one. She let out a shuddering breath as she peered up fearing the worst. Emily had a feeling that it was hours later in the night. Her fears became real when she blinked back the rain to see that she was no longer looking at a bar sign, but rather the calmly lit lettering of their hotel.

Her legs felt weak and her head felt foggy. She tried to calm herself down to ease her confusion only for her eyes to find Kelley who was frantically rushing at her from the entrance of the hotel with tears in her eyes before she wrapped Sonnett in a hug, shakily holding her as if she was afraid she’d disappear if she loosened her grip. Emily could barely focus on anything, but the sight of Kelley had brought back the brief memory of the last time she’d seen her. Emily didn’t know how much time had passed, and with her head spinning and her world slowly crumbling around her, she let out a soft sob as she slumped into Kelley’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervous laughter* Please don't hate me. Things will resolve themselves. Maybe. You'll have to wait and see, but I promised you guys a rollercoaster so here's the part where you've reached the first dip. I hope you guys still enjoyed and I promise to give you a little fluff in the next chapter to ease any pain I've caused.
> 
> Please don't be afraid to leave comments! I love hearing from you guys and it makes my heart happy. Also, feel free to send requests or talk general woso over at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> You guys are the absolute best, and I'm still blown away by how many of you support this little story. Stay tuned for the next update. I promise, the wait will be worth it.


	15. You're safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley shares some belongings.

“Kelley.” She felt her heart stop. Kelley watched as Emily slipped out of her hands and quickly made her way into the hotel. She turned to look at her ex-girlfriend standing five feet away.

“What’re you doing here?” Kelley asked quietly as she approached her. She folded her arms across her chest, suddenly feeling the need to protect herself. Memories of staying alone in her apartment for days with tears in her eyes brushed the edge of Kelley’s memory.

“How are you?” Her voice was timid and Kelley didn’t fail to notice the way her eyes had seemed to follow Emily.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t deflect. What’re you doing here?” Kelley repeated the question trying to keep her voice down. She tried to decide how she was feeling. Was she mad? No, that wasn’t it. Even when it had all crumbled down, Kelley had never been mad. She didn’t have it in her.

“I came to see you.” Kelley flinched as her ex reached for her hands but finally gave in, letting her fingertips loosely hang from her palms. For some reason, Kelley expected butterflies or some sort of feeling that made her heart flutter. But she felt nothing. Nothing but the pressure of her fingertips in the hands of someone that used to make her feel all those things she’d expected.

Kelley pulled her hands away, slowly tucking them the pockets of her jacket. “I can tell there’s more.” She was doing that fidgeting thing where she’d worry her bottom lip, always signaling that she had something to tell Kelley. When they were dating, Kelley had found it cute.

“Okay fine. A friend had bought the tickets for me a while ago and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that we, that we-“ Kelley finished her sentence.

“We broke up?”

“Right. That. But this isn’t just about a miscommunication because I could have not gone to the game or sold the tickets and you would have never known either way. I’m here now because-“ she paused as if she was trying to consider her next words. “Because I miss you. These last few months have been terrible and I know when you came to me asking to fix things that I’d said no and I want you to know that it was the biggest mistake of my life. Please, Kelley. I want to make this work.” Kelley felt sick to her stomach. A month ago she would have done anything to hear those words. She had cried and pleaded to hear those words. She felt tears sting that back of her eyes.

“Why couldn’t you say that to me the first time?” Kelley asked quietly. She was genuinely curious, but she also felt like she deserved an answer.

“Because I was angry. Because I missed my girlfriend and I could feel her pulling away. But I didn’t realize that I hadn’t made the effort to keep her. I’ll fly out to see you. We can plan weekends together. Kelley, I want to try.” She could hear the pleading in her voice, but all Kelley wanted to do was go back into the hotel and find Emily. Sensing Kelley's hesitation, she continued. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. I know me being here is a lot and you have to get back to your teammates. But give me a call in the next few days okay? It’s the same number.”

Kelley wanted to shake her head and just end any possibilities, but instead she said, “Okay. I’ll call. It was nice to see you.” Kelley offered a hug. The hug felt fine. It was casual, comfortable. But as her ex walked away, Kelley noticed how she didn’t have the urge to chase after her and tell her they were going to make things work and that they’d be okay. She didn’t know what she felt.

Realizing she was still standing alone, Kelley finally made her way back into the hotel. The team must have already started their late dinner by now. Once she was in the elevator she ran her hands through her hair, trying to figure out what she was going to say to Emily. The way her face had been drained of any happiness had made Kelley sick to her stomach. Things between them were different and the thought of that scared Kelley, especially with the reappearance of her ex. _Whatever happened to off-limits?_

She unlocked the door to her hotel room and stuck her head in. “Em?” She didn’t hear anything so Kelley walked in only to find Emily’s things strewn across her side of the room, including her phone and hotel key card. Kelley slid the card into her pocket and assumed that Emily was probably already with the rest of their teammates at dinner.

Kelley slipped into the team dinner, catching only the glances of Alex and Allie who motioned her over to the empty seat beside them. She gathered a small plate of food before finding her seat.

“Where’ve you been?” Alex asked, while trying to cover her mouth full of food. Kelley didn’t want to tell them about her surprise visit, knowing how they’d react. When Alex had found out about the breakup she’d been livid, threatening to call Kelley’s ex and force her into apologizing. It was only when Kelley had burst into tears that Alex had settled down, realizing that was definitely not the best thing to do. Kelley wondered how Alex would react to the apology she’d threatened to force out months ago having finally happened.

“Sorry, I thought I lost my key card.” Kelley quickly lied. Alex and Allie only shrugged, resuming whatever conversation they were having before Kelley had sat down. Kelley didn’t make an effort to focus on her friends, finding herself distracted by trying to locate Emily in the room. Her eyes scanned various groups, finishing where the younger players usually ate together. Kelley tried to swallow the worried feeling that appeared when she saw the empty seat in between Rose and Lindsey. _Was Sonnett avoiding her?_

Kelley hoped that wasn’t the case. She hoped that Sonnett wouldn’t be that hurt to not even want to be in the same room as her. Kelley needed to fix this. God, where was she?

“Earth to Kell. What’re you thinking about? You haven’t said a word since you sat down.” Allie asked. Kelley slipped on a smile.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how I can sneak in a surf sesh in California without Jill noticing.” Kelley mentally patted herself on the back for coming up with an excuse last minute. Although, the idea of actually trying to sneak in a surf sesh at their next game location did sound appealing even with the possibility of it actually happening being close to none. 

“I’m so excited to be back in California. Although, I’m sure you’re just as excited to get to Georgia. Right, Kelley?” Kelley chuckled actually having forgotten that their last game would be played in Georgia against France. It would be the first time the two teams played each other since the World Cup. The game was supposed to be a sell-out crowd. But then the thought of Georgia made Kelley think of Emily and the joy of playing in her home state suddenly got a little complicated. Would she be back with her ex? Would she admit her feelings to Emily? All these questions started to filter in and Kelley realized she’d lost her appetite. She still managed to hold her smile.

“I’m super excited. We don’t get to play in Georgia often, so it’ll be nice to play at home for once and seeing my family is a big bonus too. It’s also perfect because I was going to spend my off-season there anyways.” Kelley tried to keep the conversation casual even though her mind was distracted.

“That sounds like so much fun!” Alex beamed. She knew that Kelley, like most of their teammates, craved being in their hometown any chance they got. Alex remembered when they’d announced the locations for these friendlies. Her heart had soared when she heard they were playing in California again. Kelley had the same reaction when they’d listed Georgia as the final destination.

“It’ll be good.” Kelley tried to match Alex’s excitement.

The team dinner finally came to an end after what felt like ages. Jill gave them the time for when they had to be up and ready to leave for their flight to California the next morning. The team had wanted to mimic the flying and playing schedule of the Olympics, scheduling the matches close together, leaving little room for off-days in between with the entire month of November being filled with camp and these games, ending the weekend before Thanksgiving. Kelley and a couple of her teammates groaned at the idea of having to pack and be ready for another flight tomorrow. It felt like they had just gotten to Seattle. Still, Kelley set an alarm for the time she needed to get up and a reminder for when she had to be in the hotel lobby the next morning, knowing she’d forget about it later.

“You wanna come watch TV with us before you head to bed?” Alex offered as they made their way out of the room. Kelley shook her head.

“I still have to pack and I’m beat. I’m just going to head straight to bed.” Alex shrugged her shoulders and walked off with Allie, pausing to yell goodnight to Kelley before they made their way to their separate rooms.

Sleeping was definitely not on Kelley’s mind as she unlocked her hotel room. She opened the door, expecting to see Emily packing or at least present in some form, but the room was left the same as when Kelley had checked in before dinner. _She’s probably hanging out with Lindsey._ Trying not to worry, Kelley decided to start packing. She ended up throwing a few shirts into her suitcase before the sound of a phone buzzing distracted her. She checked hers and upon seeing no notification, she immediately went to Emily’s bed. Her phone was lit up with a text message from Lindsey.

“Don’t pry.” Kelley mumbled as she forced herself to start packing again. And then Emily’s phone went off again and it was enough for Kelley to be overcome by curiosity. She would only read the messages. Kelley tried to ignore the guilt she felt as she unlocked Emily’s phone. She’d figured out the password months ago. It was the date of Emily’s first cap and Kelley remembered teasing her about it before saying it was cute and then immediately wishing she could take back the comment when Emily had blushed. She had still been strictly in the off-limits zone back then. Now, Kelley considered herself teetering on a thin line between off-limits and maybe this is worth pursuing.

**2 new messages from Lindsey Horan**.

**Hey just checking in. Didn’t see you at dinner. Everything okay?**

Five minutes later: **Okay, starting to get a little worried. Need to know if you’re okay. I’m heading to your room soon.**

“Shit.” Kelley mumbled before placing Sonnett’s phone on the nightstand. Kelley started to panic. What was she going to tell Lindsey when she came over to look for Sonnett? _Oh hey Linds. Haven’t seen Sonnett since I flirted with her in front of my ex-girlfriend. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I definitely have unconfessed feelings for her and her missing presence may or may not be my fault. Anyways, how was dinner?_

Kelley was pacing the room until she got an idea. It was a terrible idea that she definitely shouldn’t act on, but then Kelley found herself unlocking Sonnett’s phone and drafting a response.

**Hey! No need to come check on me. Ended up falling asleep right after the game and missed dinner. Ordering room service while I pack. See you in the morning!**

Kelley panicked after she hit send, realizing that she probably sounded nothing like Sonnett over text and Lindsey was going to think her best friend got murdered. Kelley’s heart rate shot through the roof when she heard the phone buzz.

**Oh, alright. Get some sleep, but you better make up for missing dinner by sitting next to me on the plane. Don’t forget that I still need to ask you something!**

What did Lindsey need to ask Sonnett about? Kelley brushed away her curiosity, figuring she’d already tampered with enough privacy for one night. She sent one last text before forcing herself away from Emily’s phone.

**Deal. And I’ll remind you!**

Kelley couldn’t ignore the worry that had now made permanent residence in her chest. Emily wasn’t with Lindsey, had skipped dinner, left her phone, and Kelley was starting to feel frantic. _Where was she?_

She glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand and mentally marked the time. 10 PM. If Emily wasn’t back by 10:30, Kelley would start asking the hotel staff if they’d seen her. Until then, she busied herself with packing, which consisted of her folding the same couple of shirts over and over until the time reached 10:30 and Kelley burst out of hotel room because Emily still hadn’t made an appearance.

She tried to stay calm as she rode the elevator down. She was only slightly worried about being caught by the coaching staff for being up later than the curfew marker which happened to be 10 PM. But she needed to find Emily.

She made her way to the front desk, quickly pulling up a picture of Sonnett on her phone. Kelley tried to sound calm as she talked to the front desk person. 

“Hi. My friend went to go grab some takeout for us and I was wondering if you happened to see her down here? I’m just trying to get an estimate of what time she’ll be back.” Kelley knew her words sounded like they were filled with bullshit. Apparently, the front desk person thought the same thing.

“Ma’am, we can’t give out the whereabouts of guests. I’m sure your friend will be back soon.” Kelley tried not to scream at the man as she continued to push for a better answer.

“Please, sir. This is really important.” The façade of whatever late-night food escapade she'd made up had disappeared as Kelley heard her own worry in her voice. The man seemed to soften at that and he let out a sigh.

“Is this friend of yours rooming with you?” Kelley nodded. “I guess I can make an exception and just say you’re a part of the same party.” She let out a sigh of relief before the man continued. “I saw your friend about an hour ago leave the front doors. She seemed to be in a hurry, but she went left. Haven’t seen her since. Would you like me to call your room if I see her again?”

Kelley’s heart dropped at the idea of Sonnett wandering downtown Seattle alone at night, especially with the light rain that had started to build over the past hour. She wouldn’t even know where to start looking if she went after her, so instead, Kelley took up the man’s offer. “That’d be great.” She showed him the photo of Sonnett one more time before heading back to her room.

Kelley didn’t realize her hands were shaking until she tried to unlock the door to her room and she noticed how it took her a few times to get the key card into its slot. Once inside, she sat on the edge of her bed with her head in hands. Kelley tried to ease her worry by telling herself that, “Sonnett’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. She doesn’t need you following her around like a lost puppy. She’ll be back.”

Kelley couldn’t bring herself to pack. Instead, she flipped on the TV and waited impatiently for a knock on the door with Sonnett’s voice on the other side or for the phone to ring and the front desk telling her that Emily was on her way up. But the minutes ticked by and with each passing second Kelley felt more and more sick to her stomach. It was 11:30 PM when she noticed that the drizzle of rain from earlier had formed into a full-on storm only making her feel worse.

Was Sonnett wandering around in the rain? Was she waiting it out somewhere? A million possibilities crossed Kelley’s mind and none of them made her less worried because she knew the only thing that would calm her down was if Emily was safely in their room.

Another hour passed. Then another. But even amidst all her worry, Kelley had dozed off. Then she awoke to the sound of the hotel phone ringing. She blinked a few times in confusion, noticing the TV was still on and it was raining harder outside. But after she’d shaken out the brief tiredness that had overcome her, Kelley practically jumped out of bed and answered the phone. Her eyes drifted to the digital clock once again and she felt like the air had been sucked out of her. It was 3 AM.

“Hi, is this the room of Kelley O’Hara and Emily Sonnett?” The voice on the other end asked.

“Yes!” Kelley shouted before trying to calm herself down. A noise complaint was the last thing she needed.

“Your blonde friend has made an appearance outside of the hotel. But, I’d get down here as soon as possible. She seems out of it.”

“Okay, thank you.” Kelley quickly hung up the phone, fighting the urge to throw up at the idea of Emily being hurt. She nervously pulled at the sleeves of her sweatshirt as the elevator slowly descended. Kelley wanted to scream at it to go faster, but it finally opened up to the first floor and Kelley slipped through the doors before they’d even opened all the way. And that’s when she saw her.

Kelley was in a full out sprint, waving a thank you at the front desk before racing outside into the rain and collapsing into Emily. Kelley felt tears fall from her eyes as all of her worries finally slipped out. Emily had gone stiff at first when Kelley had embraced her but after a few moments, Kelley felt Emily slump into her arms and break into a sob.

“You’re okay, Em. It’s okay. Come on let’s get you inside.” Kelley quickly ushered Emily back inside the hotel, keeping her eyes out for any wandering coaches. She mouthed another thank you to the front desk that only gave her a sympathetic nod as she dragged a crying Emily to the elevators. Kelley kept both of her arms around Emily, almost as if she was trying to shield her from the world.

Once inside the elevator, Kelley realized she’d never seen Emily cry. It broke Kelley’s heart to see her like this. It was completely opposite from the composed and joking demeanor Sonnett usually carried. The current Sonnett was shaking in Kelley’s arm as tears streamed down her face and her hands clutched Kelley’s arms like she would fall over if she let go. Kelley also picked up on the heavy scent of alcohol that came off of Emily. And as if to add insult to injury, Kelley also noticed bits of lipstick smudged around Sonnett’s lips.

Kelley carefully guided Emily back to their room, trying to keep her quiet as they passed their teammates rooms. Kelley ushered Emily into their room, barely able to close the door before Sonnett collapsed to the floor. She was still crying, but then she started to mumble words in between sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Kelley. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Kelley helped Emily to her feet and guided her to the bathroom. “You’re okay Em. It’s okay. You’re safe.” She whispered over and over again. Kelley carefully placed Sonnett on the floor of the bathroom before running over to their suitcases to grab dry clothes. Even just a few seconds in the rain had soaked Kelley’s clothes. She couldn’t imagine how cold Sonnett was. Kelley cursed at herself for turning off the lights before she’d raced down to get Emily. She couldn’t see what she was grabbing, but ended up pulling out what she thought was a sweatshirt and a pair of athletic shorts before mindlessly placing them on the counter of the bathroom and redirecting her attention back to Emily who had stopped sobbing, but was still sniffling as she tried to wipe away tears with her soaked jacket.

“Can you stand up?” Kelley asked her quietly. Emily nodded, slowly getting to her feet with the help of Kelley. “We need to get you out of these clothes or you’re going to get sick.” Kelley wasn’t thinking as she helped her out of her clothes until Emily was standing across from her in just a sports bra and underwear. Kelley felt her cheeks warm as she turned away and started up the shower, letting it warm up. She helped Emily in, letting the water wash over her in an attempt to return her to normal body temperature.

Emily looked at Kelley with concerned eyes. “Kelley, your clothes.” Sonnett took the damp fabric of Kelley’s sweatshirt sleeve between her fingers, frowning as Kelley proceeded to let the shower water soak through her clothes as she attempted to get rid of the smell of alcohol on Emily. She kept her eyes on Emily’s face, not letting them slip for even a moment to look at the rest of her body even though it was partially clothed. However, Kelley did notice the start of a large bruise that extended from Sonnett’s hip to the bottom of her ribs when she’d first gotten undressed.

“They were already wet. It’s okay.” Kelley made quick work of gently scrubbing off the lipstick was left on Emily’s lips, presumably from another person. Kelley swallowed the butterflies in her stomach as her thumb brushed Emily’s lips and the thought of Emily kissing another girl raced through her mind. At least she knew for sure that Sonnett was not straight. But the copious amounts of alcohol that she’d apparently consumed only made Kelley feel worse as the idea of Sonnett getting wasted and kissing another girl started to form in her head.

“Are you drunk?” Kelley asked softly in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had taken over the space between them. Kelley had stepped out of the shower to let Sonnett clean the rest of her body. She had taken a seat on the floor and was listening to the sound of the water splash against the tub.

Kelley waited a few moments, thinking Emily wouldn’t answer. Then a quiet voice spoke on the other side of the shower curtain. “I don’t know. I think so.” Kelley was confused as to why Sonnett didn’t know if she was drunk or not, but the confusion quickly left her as she heard the water stop. Sonnett pulled aside the shower curtain and clutched her stomach as she stood in her soaked underwear and bra. Kelley was immediately on her feet, handing her a towel.

Sonnett took the towel. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled for the billionth time in the last hour as tears began to form in her eyes again. Kelley placed both of hands around Sonnett’s face, forcing Emily to look at her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Kelley pulled back, hiding her frown at the sight of the purple tint that seemed to stain Sonnett’s lips. It wasn’t from the lipstick, which had been red, making Kelley realize just how cold Emily had been. “I left you dry clothes.” Kelley mumbled as she gestured to the misshapen pile of clothes on the counter. Sonnett nodded, stepping out of the shower.

Kelley left the bathroom, closing the door behind her. The lights were still off in the main part of their room. Kelley didn’t have the energy to turn them on as she shuffled over towards the direction of their suitcases and pulled on some dry clothes, leaving hers to dry out over one of the beds. She sat on the edge of her own bed, perking up when the bathroom door open. Kelley’s eyes tried not to focus on the sports bra that was draped over the shower rod with the rest of Emily’s wet clothes from tonight. Her eyes refocused on Emily.

She was staring down at her sweatshirt before she looked up at Kelley with a forced smile playing at her still-purple lips. “I didn’t go to Stanford.” She mumbled. Kelley’s eyes went wide realizing she’d given Sonnett an old Stanford sweatshirt of hers. With the lights off she must have assumed she’d been going through Sonnett’s bag, not hers. “Nice shorts by the way.” Kelley looked down at her shorts and felt herself blush as she saw the number 14 instead of 5. She looked back at Emily giving her an apologetic look.

“Sorry, couldn’t see whose stuff I was going through. At least I got the sweats right for you and t-shirt right for me. That’s a fifty percent success rate right there.” Emily let out a weak laugh. Kelley could see the way her body seemed to slouch forward with exhaustion.

“I can change really quick.” Emily started to go over to her things, but Kelley stopped her.

“Don’t worry about it, we can figure it out in the morning.” Kelley stopped herself from saying that Emily looked good in cardinal red, knowing that right now was definitely not the time for flirting. “Speaking of morning, you need to get some sleep it’s past 4 AM and we have to be up in less than five hours.” Emily only nodded. But Kelley frowned realizing she’d left her wet clothes on Emily’s bed, cursing herself for making this whole situation a lot harder than it needed to be.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Take my bed.” Kelley hopped off the bed and guided Emily to it, taking time to carefully get her settled in under the covers. Kelley worried at her bottom lip when she saw that Emily was still shaking from being cold. Having tucked Emily in, she made her way over to the bathroom, turning off the lights before making her way to the armchair that was placed in the corner of the room.

“What’re you doing?” Sonnett asked, peering up from behind the covers.

“I’ll just sleep on the chair. No biggie.” Kelley was already grabbing a sweatshirt to use as a makeshift blanket before Sonnett spoke up again.

“Don’t be crazy.” Kelley hesitated, waiting for Sonnett to finish her sentence. She could feel her heart start to beat a little faster. “Could you-“ Emily stuttered before she tried again. “Would you mind just sleeping next to me tonight? You don’t have to. That chair looks awfully cozy. I just-“ Kelley gripped her sweatshirt a little harder. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.” The last sentence was barely a whisper and Kelley started to doubt if she’d heard Emily correct.

She decided to go with her gut and made her way to the other side of the bed. Kelley carefully slid under the covers. She couldn’t smell any remnants of alcohol, just the cheap hotel soap and little hints of Emily’s shampoo. It smelled sweet, but not in an overbearing way. It was subtle.

Kelley accidentally bumped Emily with her arm as she tried to get comfortable. “Sorry.” She muttered, but then Emily turned to her. Even in the dark, Kelley could make out the curves of Emily’s face and the outline of her jaw and the soft flicker of her eyelashes. If she focused hard enough she could see the vibrant blue of Emily’s eyes. They’d always reminded Kelley of her favorite beach when the weather was just right and the sun glistened against the water, bringing out all of the different shades of blue that seemed to change with every second.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kelley whispered. She could feel Sonnett’s leg brush up against her as she shifted and Kelley felt her heart jump.

“No.” Emily didn’t sound stern when she said no, but the hurt in her voice was more than enough to make Kelley drop the subject.

“Okay. I’m glad you’re okay. Now get some sleep.” Kelley rolled over, not feeling the least bit tired, completely aware of Sonnett’s presence next to her. It’d be a miracle if Kelley managed to even get a few hours in.

Some moments of silence passed and Kelley was just about to close her eyes to try and force her body to sleep when Sonnett whispered something that made Kelley roll back over to look at her. “Did you forgive her?” She’d asked.

Kelley didn't answer immediately. Oddly enough, the first song she and Emily had listened to in the record store came to mind. The lyrics of ‘Forgive You’ played out softly in her head as she remembered the feelings that had accompanied her when she’d first listened to that song a few months ago, claiming it as her anthem when she’d begged her ex to take her back. But now things were different. The feelings she’d had for her ex had obviously shifted and the feelings she had for Emily were becoming more present with each day. She could tell Emily right now that she’d made her decision and that she wouldn’t be getting back with her ex. But with the unconfirmed answer to Emily’s feelings for Kelley, she didn’t want to assume anything that would already make things more confusing between them. So she settled on, “I’m still thinking about it.”

She could see Emily nod, before rolling over. Kelley felt her heart break because she wanted to spill everything she was feeling to her, but with Emily still getting over waves of alcohol and her emotions strewn out, Kelley knew it wasn’t the right time. But the worry of when the right time would be had been eating away at her since she’d admitted to herself that she’d wanted to be more than just friends with Emily.

Kelley was about to give up and go to sleep until Emily abruptly rolled back over to face her. “I’ll support your decision no matter what.” She said.

“Okay.” Was all Kelley could manage. She’d wanted to say more, but she noticed the way Emily’s eyes started to droop a little, sleep finally starting to overcome her. Without her better judgment in use, Kelley slid a little closer to Emily. Sonnett’s eyes fluttered open briefly, suddenly aware at the decreased distance between them. “You’re still shaking from the cold.” Kelley muttered as an excuse, which wasn’t a complete lie. Sonnett was still holding herself like she was trying to keep any remaining body heat trapped inside of her.

Trying not to overthink it, Kelley slowly slid her arms around Emily, trying to donate her own body heat, but also just to be closer to her. Emily didn’t object, as she adjusted and turned so she curled right against Kelley.

“Is this okay?” Kelley asked, suddenly worried she was doing the wrong thing.

“Yes.” Emily said before slowly finding Kelley’s hand that was draped over her and lacing her own fingers through. She could feel Kelley’s heart speed up, which only made Emily hold on tighter. “Thank you.” Sonnett whispered. Kelley didn’t say anything, but she shifted so she could rest her cheek against the back of Sonnett’s head, letting their feet tangle under the sheets as she held firmly onto her hand. Kelley was reminded of how Emily had held her in the record store and how she thought that Emily had fit against her like a puzzle piece as if she was meant to find Kelley and complete her.

That was what Kelley was feeling now. She felt complete with Emily wrapped in her arms. “Goodnight.” Kelley whispered.

"Goodnight.” The two of them slowly let tiredness pull at their bodies until they settled against each other, with every tense muscle slowly easing at the other’s touch. And as the minutes slipped by, they both fell asleep to the sound of each other breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft moment alert! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and it answered any lingering questions from the last one! I told you there would be fluff and this is my best approach at that, so fingers crossed that some of you were satisfied. There is going to be more, but I've officially labeled this work as a metaphorical rollercoaster. So I guess you can kind of get a look at how the next few chapters are going to play out because you can't have fluff without unnecessary conflict. 
> 
> So many of you commented on the last chapter and I loved every single one! Feel free to do the same on this one if you're feeling up to it or you can send your thoughts my way over at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> As always, your support continues to blow me away and I hope I can keep you guys hooked for the rest of this work. You guys are the best.


	16. An honest mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley and Emily pack their bags.

Kelley didn’t dream. Neither did Emily. Kelley’s eyes fluttered open to the sun streaming in from the hotel window. Her heart did a little flip when she realized she was still angled towards Emily whose back was turned to her, but their hands were still intertwined. Kelley felt her body ease a little, with a smile playing at her lips as she settled back next to Emily, enjoying the warmth of the sun and Emily’s body and the sound of her breathing and the feeling of her in Kelley’s arms.

Kelley was in the middle of falling back asleep when she felt Emily shift next to her before groaning. “Turn it off. Oh my God please turn it off.” Kelley’s ears finally picked up on the sound of the alarm on her phone going off.

“Shit. Sorry.” Kelley unlaced her fingers from Emily's before carefully reaching over her and tapping the screen of her phone until it stopped blaring the alarm. Kelley settled back in bed, peering up at the ceiling, very aware of the way her hand seemed to still feel like Emily's fingers were intertwined with hers. Kelley turned her head to look at Emily. Her back was still to her, but she was curled in on herself, and her breathing rose and fell at a steady rhythm. Kelley watched the sun dance through Emily’s hair, thinking to herself that she could get used to this.

And then it all came back to her. The waiting, the worrying, the crying. Suddenly the blissful feeling Kelley had been feeling seemed to float away. And amidst all of those memories, Kelley realized the alarm that had just gone off had been set for a reason. Kelley’s eyes went wide before she kicked off the sheets.

“Shit. Shit. Emily, we have to get up. Emily, get up.” Kelley started frantically throwing clothes into her suitcase, not even bothering with folding. She'd sort it out later and Kelley was too panicked to actually care about that right now. She looked over her shoulder to see Emily still curled up in bed, reaching around for the covers. Kelley yanked them away. “Emily we’re supposed to be downstairs right now.” The urgency in Kelley’s voice was enough to wake Emily up.

“What do you mean?” She was rubbing her eyes in that cute way that always made Kelley smile. She didn’t smile this time.

“Em, we slept through breakfast and the team is about to get on a bus to the airport where they will get on a flight to California without us if we don’t hurry up. Neither of us are even packed.” Kelley turned back to her suitcase after Emily had immediately sat up.

She jumped at the sound of something crashing followed by, “Shit.” Emily was on the floor with the covers of the bed crumpled on top of her.

Kelley had already abandoned her suitcase to help Emily up. “Are you okay? Promise me you’re not still drunk.” She was laughing, causing Emily to smile.

“Foot got caught in the sheets. I promise I’m not drunk. Just clumsy.” Once she was on her feet, Emily winced at the sun, suddenly feeling a little lightheaded. “And maybe just a little hungover.” Kelley’s smile faded.

“Don’t move.” Kelley went back over to her things, grabbing a few Advil and water.

“Thanks.” Emily swallowed the Advil with some gulps of water before giving Kelley an apologetic look. “Kell, about last night... I’m really sorry.” Kelley shook her head.

“Can you please stop saying sorry? It’s really no big deal.” Emily thought Kelley looked like she genuinely meant it, but the guilt still settled in her chest.

Emily nodded and cleared her throat. “I should be helping you pack. I’m the reason we’re late after all.” She moved past her, missing how Kelley had tried to reach for Emily’s hands.

“Um, are we just going for the pile and zip method?” Emily looked back at Kelley with a comical grin.

“I’m trying my best.” Kelley whined before helping Emily pile clothes that looked like theirs into bags. “You still have some clothes hanging in the shower.” Kelley said as she stood to grab her damp clothes from Emily’s bed.

Emily had wandered over to the bathroom. “Oh my god, did I have every drink get poured on me? These smell terrible.” Emily was leaning in the doorway of the bathroom with her damp clothes in her hands, frowning down at them. Kelley gave her a half-hearted smile, remembering how strong the smell of alcohol had been when she’d found Emily.

“There’s a laundry bag in the closet.” Kelley said.

Emily quickly threw her clothes into the plastic bag before shoving it in her suitcase and zipping it shut. Kelley did a quick sweep of the room, handing Emily her phone before she confirmed that they were clear to go. Kelley looked at the time on her phone. “Shit. This is not good.” The panic started to rise again as she proceeded to push the elevator button a million times as if it would make the thing come to them faster.

“We’ll be good. We just have to go in with a game plan.” Kelley raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

The elevator finally came. Emily slipped in first, motioning for Kelley to follow. “We rush down there and say it was my fault. No, don’t roll your eyes. It is my fault, but we’ll just say I set the alarms for the wrong time and we woke up late. We’re sorry and that’s that. Simple mistake.” Kelley didn’t want to agree with the plan, but it wasn’t bad and she couldn’t think of anything else so she nodded.

As the elevator opened to the first floor, Kelley was reminded of the texts she sent to Lindsey when Sonnett was missing. She grabbed at Emily’s wrist, pulling her back momentarily. “You’re sitting on the plane with Lindsey to make up for missing dinner last night. Also, remind her that she needed to ask you something.” Kelley muttered.

“Okay?” Sonnett was confused, but followed Kelley anyways, trying to swallow back her nerves as she saw Jill and the other coaching staff huddled at the entrance to the hotel. Their teammates were nowhere in sight, probably already on the bus.

To Kelley’s surprise, Emily rushed forward, getting the attention of their coaches. “We’re so so sorry. I set our alarms for the wrong time. An honest mistake. Phones are tricky like that sometimes.” Emily gave them a lopsided smile with apologetic eyes. Kelley just stood back and nodded when the coaches turned to look at her.

“An honest mistake.” She repeated. Jill sighed and Kelley feared the worst. No one on their team had ever caused them to be late to the airport.

“It’s alright. You aren’t too late. We’ll make do. Get on the bus.” Jill’s voice was the same tone it always was, making Kelley confused about whether she should be worried or if she should relax. Either way, she followed Emily, handed the driver their bags, and they got on the bus. It was only when she watched Emily walk up the steps of the bus’ entrance that Kelley realized Emily was still wearing her Stanford sweatshirt and she was still wearing Emily’s shorts. She wanted to pull Emily back from the bus and immediately rip through their suitcases for different clothes. They were about to be the two teammates who showed up late, wearing each other’s clothes with guilty looks on their faces.

“About time!” Ashlyn hollered. Ali gently elbowed her, giving Kelley and Emily an apologetic look as they made their way to their seats.

Kelley kept her head down, noticing Emily doing the same thing as she slid next to Alex with Emily settled next to Lindsey across from them. “Where’d you get those shorts Kell?” Alex was trying not to laugh, but when the two of them had walked in, it was hard not too. Emily looked like she’d seen a ghost and was on the verge of throwing up, and Kelley kept glancing at everyone like she was going crumble from embarrassment. And then Alex noticed the sweatshirt and then the shorts. And she didn’t want to entertain the idea, but still.

Kelley tugged at her sweatshirt, trying to cover the number on her shorts. “I-um.” _Think of something._ She decided to go with Emily’s original game plan. “Emily set our alarms late and when we woke up and panicked, we accidently threw on each other’s clothes. No big deal, we’re going to change at the airport.” Kelley kept playing innocent and Alex only shrugged with a laugh.

“I’d never thought I’d see the day where Sonny would be wearing your favorite sweatshirt, but then again I can’t believe you two slept through your alarms. What’d Jill do?” Alex’s attention had suddenly gone from the possibility of Emily and Kelley being together, to the reaction of Jill when she saw those two running to the bus.

Kelley finally relaxed at the change of subject. “She seemed fine. Although, I’ll probably get an earful about it later.” Kelley really hoped that wasn’t the case, especially with Emily taking the initial blame. Thinking of Emily caused Kelley to glance over at her while Alex tried to come up with different scenarios of what Jill was going to make them do to make up for being late.

Emily was rolling her eyes and laughing at something Lindsey had said. Kelley sucked in a deep breath and turned back to Alex to entertain her idea of Jill making her and Emily do sprints up and down the beach for every minute they were late.

When Emily had settled into her seat next to Lindsey, she made a point of cutting straight to the point. “Don’t give me that look. I set the wrong times for my alarm and I slept in.” Lindsey nodded, but she wasn’t grinning at the fact that Emily had been late. She was grinning at the fact that Emily had stumbled onto the team bus in a Stanford sweatshirt that definitely wasn’t hers.

“Right. Totally understand.” Lindsey finally let herself laugh.

“This is so fucking embarrassing.” Emily pulled the hood of Kelley’s sweatshirt over her head, but couldn’t help the smile that formed.

“Which part? Being late or the fact that you apparently went to Stanford?” Lindsey was laughing more as she reached into her backpack to hand Sonnett a jacket.

Emily rolled her eyes but took the jacket. “All of it.” She pulled on the jacket and zipped it over the sweatshirt so only the red hood was visible. With any evidence of the Stanford hoodie gone for the time being, Emily glanced at Kelley to see if she had made any effort to hide the fact that she was wearing Emily’s shorts. Instead, she got distracted by the way Kelley’s head tilted when she laughed and how even with her hair in a messy bun, every strand fell perfectly.

Emily could remember bits and pieces after she’d found herself standing in the pouring rain. She remembered Kelley holding her as she cried. She remembered taking off her soaked clothes, feeling embarrassed as Kelley helped her clean up. She remembered pulling on Kelley’s sweatshirt and looking at herself in the mirror before letting out a low laugh and wondering if Kelley had done it on purpose. She had not. Emily remembered looking at Kelley in the dark seeing if she could make out the freckles on her face that Emily loved to trace with her eyes. She remembered the feeling of Kelley’s hand intertwined with hers and everything clicking into place. She remembered waking up with Kelley’s arms still wrapped around her only for her to jump out of bed after she’d realized they were late.

Emily could also remember bits and pieces of the events that happened before the latest blackout. Kelley with her ex. The start of rain. The loud music. The florescent lights. Red lipstick. Emily felt sick to her stomach and she wondered if it was due to the hangover or the fact that she had definitely kissed another woman last night and Kelley definitely knew. Trying to distract herself from the millions of thought running through her head, she turned to Lindsey.

“Hey, I forgot to remind you earlier, but did you have something to ask me?” Emily asked as she pulled at the edge of her hood, trying to hide her eyes from the early morning sun.

“Oh right. That.” Emily raised an eyebrow as she watched Lindsey sneak a quick glance at their teammates sat across from them. _What’s that about?_ “Let’s talk about it later. Maybe at the airport? I promise I’m not intentionally putting this off. It’s important, but I want to ask you at the right time.” Lindsey gave off an easy smile, but Sonnett started to suspect something was up and with everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, whatever Lindsey had to ask her didn’t bring Emily any comfort.

“Uh, okay. Whatever works best for you.” Sonnett patted Lindsey’s hand before turning to peer out the window of the bus. They were driving through downtown Seattle and on their way to the airport. They were probably 15 min out.

To pass the time, Sonnett settled further into her seat and pulled out her phone. As she nestled further into the seat, she tried not to smile when she noticed that her sweatshirt, well, Kelley’s sweatshirt, smelled like this morning. It smelled like the perfume Kelley wore and it was soft and warm and if Sonnet closed her eyes and focused, she could still feel Kelley’s arms around her.

A little bump on the road caused Emily to snap out of her daydream and return to her phone. It also made her acutely aware of the pain in her side. She vaguely remembered seeing a bruise starting to form when she’d showered last night. Sonnett frowned at the idea of Kelley most likely having also seen the bruising and worrying about on top of everything else going on. Deciding not to think about it until it became an actual issue, Sonnett found herself scrolling through social media.

She liked a few tweets here and there about the team’s performance against Scotland and the upcoming hype for the games in California and Georgia. Sonnett’s heart melted a little bit at the thought of going home. That would be their last game for this camp and it was convenient that it ended right before the week that held Emily’s birthday and Thanksgiving. Emily couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent a Thanksgiving with her family, and it made her heart hurt if she thought about it too much.

But this year was different. She was happy that she wouldn’t have to buy an extra plane ticket as the team had paid for everyone’s flights to Georgia already. Emily tried not to think about whether she’d even make it to that game. She could almost laugh at how many things went wrong and how many things went right in Seattle. It had been one big rollercoaster that caused her to feel sick if she reminisced for too long.

Choosing again to push her thoughts aside, Emily switched from Twitter to Instagram. She had just planned on scrolling through her regular feed when she noticed the unusual amount of tagged notifications that popped up. Purely out of curiosity, she went to click through them, assuming it would just be photos of the team’s last game. What she wasn’t expecting was blurry photos of her at that bar in Seattle, kissing that girl whose name she never got.

“What the fuck.” She murmured. The idea of throwing up actually seemed reasonable now. Emily started rapidly clicking through the photos, starting to feel worse at each one that caught different angles of her kissing that girl or them passing drinks between them. Someone must have recognized her even without her USWNT gear and snuck a few pictures.

The captions of the photos, which consisted of the same few just reposted to what seemed like everywhere, seemed to be filled with, “Whose Emily with?”, “Are we sure this is even Emily?”, “Told you guys Emily wasn’t straight.” _Oh my God._ Even though the photos were blurry, one could easily assume it was her. If anyone on the coaching staff saw these, she would be screwed beyond belief. Then Emily started to think about Kelley seeing the photos. She remembered the slight frown Kelley had when she’d helped Sonnett rub off the remnants of lipstick from that night. Emily felt a light tap on her shoulder, bringing her out of her panic.

“What’re you looking at?” Lindsey asked curiously when she heard Emily mutter a string of expletives. Sonnett quickly switched back to her home page on Instagram and came up with an excuse. She wasn’t ready to tell Lindsey everything that happened last night. Emily knew that if she tried, she’d probably break down into tears.

“Oh, um, nothing. Just some weird ads. You know how you’re thinking of something and it shows up in the form of an ad? Just that. It’s like my phone read my mind.” Sonnett chuckled, trying to cover the fact that she was rambling now. She always found it hard to lie to Lindsey, knowing her best friend would probably see right through it. Lindsey still looked suspicious, but she let out a light laugh.

“I hate it when that happens. It feels like I’m being watched.” Lindsey noted how Sonnett had completely shut off her phone and how her face lacked any humor. _What was she hiding?_

Sonnett numbly nodded before staring out the window again. Lindsey kept glancing sideways at Emily as she started to pick up on a few things about her friend. Lindsey realized she hadn’t seen Emily for quite a while with Emily skipping dinner and breakfast and then being late this morning. All of it was very unlike Sonnett.

Lindsey remembered that even after their worst games, Sonnett would always do post-match team dinners or hang out with Lindsey. She was also not the type to be late to anything important, especially camp. And with both Kelley and Sonnett suddenly sharing a few clothes, which Lindsey had thought to be funny, she started to wonder what really happened last night. Sonnett looked exhausted even for having slept in. She kept squinting at the sun like it gave her a headache and she kept rolling her shoulders like her muscles ached. If Lindsey was being completely honest, Emily looked hungover.

“We’re here!” Jill called from the front of the bus. Lindsey gathered all the new observations for later. She was definitely going to talk with Sonnett in the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, Portland won and are at the top of the tables again. Utah also won, so to celebrate, here's an update! Second, the mentioning of the rollercoaster was intentional because that is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of this work. Lastly, I hope you guys really liked this chapter. It was a fun one to write.
> 
> Please keep the comments coming! You guys are all so sweet and I love reading your theories and suggestions or whatever else you guys want to say! So leave a few comments here or you can direct any requests or general conversation about woso at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Your support means the world and I can't wait for the next update.   
> Hint: A lot of you wanted to know if Lindsey's going to be a great best friend and have a little talk with Sonny.   
> Answer: duh


	17. I've never seen you happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily changes clothes.

“We board in about an hour. So, feel free to mill about the airport until then. Just don’t be late.” Emily felt her cheeks heat up as Jill seemed to lock eyes with her before moving to Kelley who was having the same reaction as her. Their teammates chuckled. Emily elbowed Lindsey in the side only causing Lindsey to laugh more.

“Traitor.” Emily murmured. Lindsey rolled her eyes, letting her laugh die out. Now with the formalities of traveling out of the way, Lindsey could focus on the one thing she actually wanted to do.

“Hey Sonny, do you want to go change. Also, there’s that thing that I need asking you about before I procrastinate it further.” Lindsey pulled on the edge of Kelley’s Stanford hoodie. Sonnett still had it on underneath Lindsey’s USWNT jacket with the hood pulled tightly over her head. Lindsey fought the urge to smirk at Emily’s reaction when she’d brought up the idea of changing.

“Right. I almost forgot that this wasn’t actually my sweatshirt.” Emily said sarcastically, slightly regretting how casual she sounded at the idea of sharing clothes with Kelley.

“Follow me.” Lindsey motioned for Sonnett after she grabbed a sweatshirt that was actually hers. They wandered through the airport before finding a relatively empty restroom.

“I’ll only be a second.” Sonnett shuffled into one of the stalls. Lindsey leaned against the door, taking a few breaths before jumping right in, knowing she’d been delaying for far too long.

“Hey, Sonny?” Lindsey started off slow. She heard a soft ‘mhmm?’ on the other side of the door. “Can you promise you won’t get mad at what I’m about to ask?” Lindsey braced herself as there was a decent pause before Sonnett spoke up.

“I suppose so.” She was still methodically switching her clothes. She threw Lindsey’s jacket over the stall’s door.

“Okay.” Lindsey took one more breath. “Is there something going on between you and Kelley?” Lindsey jumped at what sounded like Sonnett elbowing the side of the stall before yelling, “Shit.”

“Are you okay?” Lindsey asked, suddenly worried as to why Sonnett couldn’t even manage changing clothes by herself.

“I’m fine.” Sonnett sounded exasperated, but there was something about the way her voice quivered that made Lindsey’s worrying increase. She rested her head against the stall door.

“Sonny, you don’t have to tell me. Really its, okay. I’ll drop it.” Lindsey started to feel like her approach to this subject was a bad idea and should have never been brought up. But Lindsey did notice how Sonnett never answered her question.

“Emily?” There was some rustling behind the stall door until Lindsey heard the lock slide. She stepped back as the door opened. Her heart dropped when she saw Sonnett standing with Kelley’s sweatshirt clutched to her chest over a Portland crewneck she always wore and tears in her eyes. “Come here.” Lindsey quickly moved into the stall and wrapped Emily in a hug. Without really thinking, Lindsey closed the door behind her, sitting Sonnett down on the toilet. She crouched in front of her friend who was now fully crying. Lindsey really hoped no one came into the bathroom or tried to knock on the stall they now shared. This was important.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lindsey asked softly.

Sonnett sniffled, pondering the question, remembering how Kelley had asked her the same thing last night. She’d said no then. “Not really. But I guess I’m going to have to eventually. Plus, I really really hate lying to you.” Emily used the back of her sleeve to wipe the tears away. She was right when she’d assumed that she would break down if she tried to explain recent events with Lindsey. She sucked some air back into her lungs before continuing.

“Where should I start?” She asked. Lindsey just shrugged her shoulders.

“Wherever you think makes the most sense. I’ll listen.” Lindsey gave Sonnett a reassuring smile. Emily nodded and let her shoulders sag as she tried to relax.

“Okay, um about Kelley. Is it really that noticeable?” Emily continued to wipe away any remaining tears, hating how much she’d been crying lately. Lindsey chuckled, tilting her head from side to side.

“Well, to be fair, I only recently started picking up on whatever is going on between you two. It was little things at first, and I always thought it was just Kelley being her overly friendly self, and you being you, but this camp was different with both of you.” Sonnett raised an eyebrow, prompting Lindsey to continue. “It was the little things. The way she looks at you. How you would always smile whenever you glanced at her or hear her name. I’ve never seen you nervous around anyone in the way you got nervous during that one team dinner where you and Kelley were dressed a little nicer than everyone else. Also, about that, you two were together before dinner weren’t you.” Lindsey grinned as she saw a smile break through Sonnett’s gloomy demeanor.

“Okay, so it’s been very obvious. And yes, we just went to downtown Seattle. It wasn’t anything serious.” Sonnett tried to play it off casually like she hadn’t thought about that moment with Kelley over and over again. Lindsey’s shoulders shook as she laughed.

“I think it was only obvious to me since I know you the best and I also know how you are with relationships. You’re never interested in anyone for too long, but I think Kelley makes you really happy in a way no one else has. I don’t think anyone else is picking up on you two though. You guys are already so close, that everyone else might just brush it off. Although after this morning, I think a few more people might start to question things.” Sonnett let out a shuddering laugh as she looked down at the Stanford sweatshirt she still held in her hands.

“It was just a simple mistake.” Emily muttered. “Plus, I don’t even know where Kelley stands in all of this. I haven’t talked to anyone about my feelings except you.” Sonnett was somewhat grateful that Lindsey had found out in her own way. If she could help Emily figure this out, it could be one less thing that Sonnett could panic over.

Lindsey took the opportunity to explain things from her point of view. “For the record, I think you make Kelley very happy too. I don’t know everything and you obviously don’t have to share, but there’s something special about you two. If you’re willing to admit your feelings, I think this might be something worth pursuing because when you two are together, I’ve never seen you happier.” Lindsey genuinely meant what she said. Sure she could make Sonnett laugh and they had inside jokes and could talk to each other for hours, but when Emily was with Kelley, everything about her brightens. Lindsey wanted that for Sonny more than anyone, knowing that she hadn’t found it through any of her past options.

“I really like her Linds.” Sonnett suddenly got quiet. “But I don’t think me pursuing her right now is the right thing to do.” Everything started to race through Sonnett’s mind again as if it was just a recording that seemed to play over and over again. The blackouts. The anxiety. Her feelings. The photos at the bar. Last night. All of it swirled around Sonnett, threatening her every action. Lindsey cocked her head sideways, suddenly confused.

“What do you mean?” Lindsey prompted.

Sonnett made sure to be careful about her words. Just sharing with Lindsey her feelings about Kelley had been a lot. She still wasn’t ready to let everything else slip out. She came up with a light excuse, hoping Lindsey would buy it. “I don’t want to be a rebound.” Emily wasn’t lying, but everything was so much more complicated than the idea of her being Kelley’s rebound.

“I don’t think you’d be her rebound, Em. Kelley and her ex have been broken up for more than a month and I think they’ve both moved on.” Sonnett couldn’t catch herself before she let out a nervous laugh. “Wait did something happen?” Lindsey asked, noticing the way Sonnett had tightened her grip on Kelley’s sweatshirt.

_Shit._ Emily sucked in a deep breath, deciding just one more secret would be worth sharing. Plus, she had no idea what she was going to do about those damn photos. “Kelley’s ex was at the game last night and she visited Kelley back at the hotel.” Emily said numbly. She hated how she sounded, but Emily couldn’t help herself with the little control she had on her emotions lately.

Lindsey’s eyes widened. “Oh shit. Do you know if anything happened between them?” Emily stiffened a little. _You still have time to back out._

“Um, not exactly.” Lindsey only looked more confused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sonnett bit her bottom lip, figuring out how she was going to paraphrase the events of last night. “When I saw Kelley’s ex I got kind of flustered. Kelley and I had been flirting, well I was flirting, Kelley was probably just being normal, when her ex showed up. I felt uncomfortable, so I decided to go for a walk. And then that walk turned into a couple of hours at a bar. And there may or may not be pictures floating around of me kissing another girl. And that might also be the reason why Kelley and I were late this morning.” Emily was vague, but it was just enough information to make Lindsey’s eyes go wide before she started to ask questions.

“Oh my God, Sonny. You didn’t. They could have just been talking!” Lindsey groaned. Emily gave her friend a lopsided frown. To be fair, she hadn’t intended to get wasted. But with her not being able to remember most of the events from that night, she’d have to play up the broken heart excuse.

“I know, but when I asked Kelley after I came back if she’d forgiven her, she didn’t give me an answer. And yes I jumped the gun, but I’m severely paying for it so can you please be on my side for this one?” Emily whined, hoping she was in the clear and didn’t have to elaborate more.

“I’ll always be on your side, but I can’t believe you are that head over heels for Kelley that you did that. How bad are the pictures?” Lindsey started to connect the dots, assuming that was what Sonnett had been cursing at on her phone when they were on the bus. Emily pulled out her phone and headed to Instagram. It only took her a minute before she found a post that had the small grouping of photos of her at the bar. She handed the phone to Lindsey.

Lindsey swiped through the pictures, zooming in and out before moving to the next one. Sonnett suddenly started to feel nervous. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Lindsey handed Sonnett her phone back. “She’s pretty.” Sonnett’s mouth hung open.

“Really Linds? She’s pretty? That’s it?” Sonnett was about to start yelling until she saw the smile that played at Lindsey’s lips. “You’re terrible. This is serious!”

Lindsey was laughing now. “I know. I know. The pictures are pretty blurry, so you have that on your side. You’re not wearing any team gear, but people might recognize your clothes. I will say that I think the outfit is neutral enough that anyone could be seen wearing that at a bar. Some of the angles are worse than others, but none of them completely show your face, mainly because it was pressed up against pretty bar girl.” Emily lightly punched Lindsey’s shoulder after she started laughing again.

“You think I’ll be okay?” Emily knew the pictures weren’t going anywhere, but she still wanted an outside opinion about her options. “Be honest. And no more joking.” Lindsey gave a firm nod.

“I think it’ll pass. There have been weird speculations about almost everyone on the team with some of them being associated with blurry photos. But that’s the thing. They’re just speculations. As long as you don’t do anything stupid like that again, I’d say your chances of it being forgotten in the next few weeks are pretty high.” Emily relaxed a little.

“Okay. But that still doesn’t resolve the issue of what to do with Kelley. I don’t know where she is with her ex.” Sonnett pointed out. Lindsey just shrugged.

“You could always ask again. I don’t expect you to just open up your feelings to her and ask her what’s going on with her last relationship all in one sitting, but it doesn’t hurt to inquire as a friend. It’ll be hard and you have to go in expecting both answers, but I’ll still be there for you no matter the outcome.” Lindsey smiled reassuringly.

Sonnett sighed. “After last night, it’ll be hard to even talk to her.” Sonnett didn’t even know how she would approach either of the topics about each other or Kelley and her ex.

“Then take your time. It’s all up to you in the end, and if you want to take time for yourself, that’s okay too. It doesn’t hurt to take care of yourself once in a while, Em.” Lindsey had started to think of Emily’s Olympic ambitions and how that added stress mixed in with everything going on with Kelley must have been a lot for Sonnett. If Lindsey was in her shoes, she could almost understand Sonnett’s urge to drink it all away. Almost.

Sonnett was about to say something, but she felt her phone buzz. Lindsey’s phone went off too. They’d both gotten a text from Rose in their group chat that also included Sam and Mal.

**Linds, Sonn, where are you guys! Jill might actually leave Sonnett this time if you don’t hurry back to the gate.**

“Shit.” Emily muttered, immediately getting to her feet. She hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed. They both pushed their way out of the bathroom stall, getting a few curious looks from some people that had walked in, but Emily and Lindsey could care less as they raced back to their gate. They made it back just as some of their teammates had started to prepare for boarding.

“Just on time.” Lindsey let out breathlessly. She high-fived Sonnett.

“Barely.” Rose said with a mischievous smile. “I figured with Lindsey, Sonny would have a better concept of time and not be late for once, but I should have known that both of you are incompetent.” They all laughed with Sonnett rolling her eyes.

“Everything’s just a little off today.” Sonnett said.

“Oh, we can tell.” Rose gently nudged Emily. “Snap out of it. Your time management skills are rubbing off on Lindsey and Kelley.” Emily chuckled, hoping she wasn’t blushing at the mention of Kelley. Then Emily remembered she was still holding Kelley’s Stanford sweatshirt. She looked around her teammates, finding Kelley sitting next to Alex, watching something on Alex’s phone while they both laughed. Emily decided it would be weird to give Kelley her sweatshirt now, settling for keeping it in her backpack until she found the right time. Maybe then, she’d also bring up everything she’d talked about with Lindsey. Maybe.

Emily hadn’t noticed that Kelley still had her shorts on, or that Kelley’s eyes wandered to her from time to time as the team readied themselves for California. Kelley wanted to talk to Sonnett as they didn’t have much time this morning, but she had immediately dashed off with Lindsey once they’d settled at the airport. Kelley lied to herself, saying her heart didn’t break a little when she saw the two of them running back and Emily holding Kelley’s sweatshirt instead of wearing it. She understood why Sonnett had changed, knowing she’d have to switch shorts before they landed, but she’d liked seeing Emily in her clothes. Kelley wanted to talk about last night, but she also needed to figure out things with her ex. California started to become less exciting with every minute that passed as Kelley kept thinking about Emily and every other problem that had appeared as of recent. Kelley was still trying to figure out how she was going to fix everything as the plane took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so obviously I wasn't going to resolve everything in one chapter. That'd be crazy, but hey Lindsey's in on some of the issues so there's that! This chapter is a little light, but I'm hoping it acts as a way to set up the next couple chapters. I'll tell you right now that a lot of resolution is gonna be coming, so be prepared for more tears, more drama, lots of dialogue that may or may not be good, and maybe just maybe a happy ending.
> 
> Please keep commenting all your thoughts! They warm my heart and encourage me to keep writing! You can also talk to me over at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this update! The next chapter is on the shorter side, but good things are coming! Thank you for sticking around and continuing to read. See you at the next one!


	18. Don't get ahead of yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily gets coffee with Lindsey.

Emily almost forgot her newfound fear of flying until the plane lurched forward to take off and she found herself grabbing for Lindsey’s hand. Lindsey raised a questioning eyebrow but still held onto Emily’s hand. Sonnett only slid her hand out from under Lindsey’s when they reached a steady altitude.

“Sorry about that.” Sonnett muttered, slightly self-conscious about how much she hated flying now. _You don’t even remember the last two._ _Nothing to worry about._ But that was the problem. The problem was that Sonnett started to get that sick feeling in her stomach and she absolutely did not want to add a third flight to her growing list of forgotten things.

Lindsey shrugged. “No problem. We all get a little nervous on flights once in a while. The takeoff was a little rough. I get it.” Sonnett nodded. The sick feeling had become stagnant, but Emily still didn’t like it resting in her chest.

“Hey Linds, could you just keep me awake?” Emily hated how awkward she sounded. Sonnett quickly added on an excuse. “I don’t want to feel all sleepy when we get to the hotel. I’m sure Jill is going to have us going right into recovery.”

Lindsey was still giving her a weird look, but she only nodded. “Sure. It’s only a couple hours flight. Easy.” Lindsey pulled out her laptop before offering a pair of headphones to Sonnett so they could watch a few episodes of a show she downloaded. Emily smiled and took one end of the headphones. She was grateful that Lindsey had happily said yes to her odd request without question.

Emily rested her head on Lindsey’s shoulder as they sped through a couple of episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. This was the second or third time Lindsey had watched the show, but Sonnett had never actually made an effort to watch it in full with her. She hadn’t seen these episodes before, making the time go by fast as she watched them for the first time. Before they knew it, the plane touched down and Emily felt her nerves settle because she could remember every detail of the episodes. It was a small victory, but it was a victory nonetheless.

The team got off the plane and made their way to the buses that were already waiting for them. Once they were at the hotel, they waited in the lobby for their new room assignments. Emily stayed by Lindsey the whole time.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” All eyes turned towards Jill and Dawn with a new set of room keys. “Seems like our names out of a hat pairing was popular last time. Dawn and I gave it another go. First room,” Jill looked down at a list of names. “Alex and Kelley.” Alex grinned, pulling on Kelley who was now wearing a team-issued pair of sweats. Sonnett wondered where her shorts had disappeared to. Sonnett also couldn’t help but notice the feeling of relief that hit her when she realized Kelley wasn’t her roommate. Emily didn’t like the feeling. She hated it. For as long as she could remember, all she wanted was to be close to Kelley. But after realizing there was a possibility that Kelley might want to be close to her, Emily felt the need to put distance between them. She thought that if she let herself get close to Kelley like they had last night, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from spilling everything to her. Kelley was unpredictable and that was something Emily always admired, but with everything that’s happened, she couldn’t risk it. Emily wanted to finish this camp, even if she didn’t realize it wasn’t in her best interest.

Sonnett smiled meekly as Alex dragged Kelley past her and Lindsey. Kelley’s eyes met Emily’s and for a moment, Sonnett remembered trying to find the color in her eyes while they laid next to each other in the dark. She could see the color clearly now, but this time she held back the fluttering feeling in her chest that made her want to chase after Kelley. Emily slowly started to slide back into her ‘no relationship’ pact. _It’s for the better, s_ he thought, even though her eyes followed Kelley only to look away when she glanced back. Kelley reluctantly followed Alex into the elevators, disappearing from Emily's sight. 

“Are you going to talk to her?” Lindsey whispered as Jill called out another name. She’d noticed the way Sonnett had unintentionally moved closer to Lindsey, almost like a safety blanket, when Kelley's name was called. She'd also seen how Sonnett's eyes had stayed on Kelley until she disappeared with Alex.

Emily shook her head. No matter how much she wanted Kelley, she couldn’t let her in. _I’m a burden._ Emily thought. _Kelley deserves to be with someone who makes her happy, not someone she needs to take care of._ “No. I’m just going to let it blow over.” Sonnett whispered. Her voice felt strained and her mouth felt dry. “I’m just overthinking things. My feelings for her will pass just like they do with everyone else.” Lindsey only nodded, but she heard the shaking in Sonnett’s voice. She knew that Emily wasn’t trying to convince Lindsey, she was trying to convince herself. But, Lindsey respected Emily’s opinions and no matter how much she wanted to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to go chase after her, Lindsey wasn’t going to push Emily unless she wanted to be pushed.

“Sonny, you’re with Lindsey.” Sonnett felt a smile pull at her lips.

“Oh thank God.” Lindsey breathed out. She was starting to worry that leaving Sonnett with another roommate would only further plunge Emily into whatever disarray she’d been attracting these past few weeks. Lindsey was going to give Sonnett space, but at least this way she could still keep an eye on her. Emily flashed a smile back at Lindsey once she had the hotel keys.

“You’re really that happy to be rooming with me?” Emily laughed, having definitely heard Lindsey’s whispered praises.

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Me? Excited to be stuck in a room with you? Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Lindsey smirked, kicking Sonnett’s suitcase to the side so she could get to their room first.

“I hate it when you do that!” Emily called as she forced her way into the room before Lindsey could let the door close.

“Old habit.” Lindsey said. She dropped her bags on one of the beds, promptly collapsing on top of the stiff hotel-issued mattress. Sonnett followed suit. “I think there’s a coffee shop down the street. We could make it before recovery in an hour if we go now.” Lindsey said after a few moments of silence.

Sonnett stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah, okay.” They both hauled themselves off the beds and we’re out of their room just as fast as they’d entered.

Once at the coffee shop, Lindsey carefully watched Sonnett as they sipped on their coffees. “You going to be okay?” She asked quietly. Emily swallowed another gulp of coffee, starting to feel more awake with each passing moment.

“Yeah. Like I said, I’m just going to let it pass. Plus, it’s not like I’ve done anything to get emotionally invested. I’m still in the safe zone. I’ll just let Kelley do her thing and I’ll stick to mine until I move on.” Sonnett smiled to herself like she actually believed that would happen. Lindsey swallowed her words, which consisted of, ‘ _what if Kelley doesn’t move on?’_ She was supposed to be the supportive friend right now.

"Sounds good. And next time things start to go south, can you please just talk to me first instead of going off to get wasted with some random girl? Unless you want to get wasted with me. Then maybe.” Lindsey exaggerated her voice to make sure Sonnett knew she was joking. Emily chuckled as she curled in on herself a little with her cheeks getting warm.

“I swear, if you bring that up to anyone, I will kill you.” Emily tried to sound serious, but it only made her and Lindsey laugh more.

“Well don’t do anything to make me slip.”

Emily pretended to be annoyed as they left the coffee shop. With recovery in less than thirty minutes, they'd quickly made their way back to the hotel, especially since Sonnett had been dropping the ball lately when it came to being on time to places. As they neared the hotel, Emily was still laughing over Lindsey's comment about last night's events and deciding to keep the mood light, Emily started to mess with Lindsey when she casaully said, “She was kind of hot.” Even though the words came with ease, Emily tried to ignore the pang in her chest that seemed to threaten her as if she was betraying Kelley. Lindsey almost spat out her coffee. She gave Sonnett a look that read as _you're joking right?_

Deciding to play along, Lindsey let out a nervous laugh. “She may have been hot, but she’s also in Seattle. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I doubt she was a good enough kisser for you to go chase after this random girl in another state.” Lindsey said jokingly, but her stomach started to twist as several moments of silence passed and Sonnett made a face that seemed to consider the idea. “Please correct me.” Lindsey said with obvious panic in her voice.

Sonnett broke out laughing. “I’m only kidding. Although, we could always make a quick stop next time we play Reign. Maybe bar girl and I are meant to be.” Sonnett pretended to be sick with love, which only made Lindsey gag.

“I’m going to ignore what you just said and ask Mark to not let you come to any of our games in Seattle.” They’d made it back to the hotel. Emily waved to Ali and Ashlyn who were making their way over to the conference room that had been cleared out for their recovery session. Sonnett also noticed some of the coaching staff heading to the pools to start setting up ice baths for later.

Lindsey and Emily finished their coffees just before they entered the recovery room. Most of the team was already there, almost eager to roll out and stretch their sore muscles from a day of traveling and any residual feelings from yesterday’s game. Emily knew that most of her teammates had already done some recovery after the game, but her muscles were aching because she’d done the exact opposite last night. She still kept close to Lindsey and sent her a silent thank you when she sat on the opposite side of the room to Kelley.

Recovery went off without a hitch and the team moved from the conference room to the pools, getting rid of the last bit of soreness that threatened any training they did the next day. Emily was grateful to finally get ice on her hip, easing into the numbing sensation, secretly whispering praises that it was just a simple bruise and nothing more. Sure she’d be sore for a while, but she knew how minor injuries could elate to something much bigger. It would be one less thing she had to worry about.

When it was all over, Jill let them have the rest of the day off. And being in California, Emily begged Lindsey to go to the beach with her so they could watch the sunset. “Text the others! We can get food afterward.” Emily continued to beg even though Lindsey was already sending a message in their group chat with Sam, Rose, and Mal. A few moments later her phone buzzed.

“They’re in. We’re meeting them in the lobby in 10.” Emily grinned.

They made it to the beach in no time, wearing the exact opposite of what you are supposed to wear to a beach. But with the November air causing a slight breeze and the sun on the verge of setting, their sweatshirts and sweats were more than appropriate.

The five of them sat next to each other on the sand, laughing, and taking random videos as they watched the sun color the sky. Emily let everything running through her head slowly fade into background noise as she closed her eyes and listened to the water, letting the last bits of warmth from the sun roll over her as she relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. The soft sounds of the ocean, the slight breeze, the laughter of her closest friends, the feeling of sand in between her toes, the smell of salt, it all seemed to slowly mend her fractured emotions. Carrying that feeling with her, Emily reopened her eyes, immediately breaking out into laughter as Sam had picked up Rose, threatening to drag her into the ocean. She let the laughter drown out any remnants of doubtful thinking in terms of her mental decision to maintain a little distance with Kelley, hoping those thoughts would stay behind closed doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, confession, this isn't my favorite chapter? It just didn't run as smoothly as I would have liked, thus leading it to being on the shorter end, and acting as a sort of filler chapter to keep the story going. Hoping to make the next one better, and who knows maybe I'll let these two finally be happy. Fingers crossed?
> 
> Keep sending me your thoughts in the comments! I love reading what you all have to say so don't be afraid to comment or you can head over to my tumblr for any other woso related discussion or requests for future works: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Anyways, apologies for this chapter not being my strongest, but I'm hoping to get back into the groove for the next two. I will let you all in on a little hint for the next update: It's going to be from Kelley's POV so look out for that tomorrow. You guys are the best and your support on this work continues to blow me away. Hope you enjoyed and see you at the next one.


	19. Shouldn't it feel unpredictable?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley makes a call.

Emily had been avoiding Kelley. Kelley hadn’t said a single word to her since they’d gotten on the bus in Seattle. They were two days into their time in California and Kelley was starting to feel miserable. And Alex was starting to notice.

They’d just finished a training session and as they were leaving to head back to the bus, Alex threw her arm over Kelley, bringing her close to her. “Kell, if you don’t snap out of this funk I’m going to ask for a roommate change. What’s gotten into you?” Kelley slipped on a smile, leaning into Alex.

“Just thinking about things.” She said vaguely, only causing Alex to become more curious.

“Elaborate on things.” Alex put up air quotes around the word ‘things’. They were almost to the bus. Kelley didn’t feel like sharing everything she was feeling with Alex and anyone within earshot, especially on a bus where private space was limited. She also didn’t want Emily to overhear anything. Kelley still wanted to talk with her privately, but with Sonnett avoiding her like the plague, she didn’t know when that time would come. For now, she’d have to settle for Alex.

“I’ll spill back at the hotel.” Kelley said, trying to sound mischievous, but it only came out tired. And she was very very tired. Her thoughts kept her up hours after Alex would fall asleep. Kelley wondered if Emily was having the same problem.

“Promise?” Alex asked. Kelley could almost laugh at how serious she was being, but she nodded anyway.

“Promise.”

Alex had convinced herself she was going to nap for the thirty-minute bus ride back to the hotel. With no one to keep her mind off of her own thoughts, Kelley busied herself on social media, making a personal bet to see if she could keep her eyes off Emily for the entire ride back. She was set in an Instagram deep dive when the bus finally pulled up to the front of the hotel. Kelley nudged Alex awake, somewhat surprised that she’d actually managed to get in the thirty-minute nap.

The two of them meandered back to their room with Alex still yawning from time to time. Apparently, the thirty-minutes of extra sleep wasn’t enough. When they got back to their room, Alex slumped onto her bed and for a moment, Kelley was worried that she wouldn’t get the opportunity to say everything she was feeling. It had started to claw at her and she didn’t know how long she could hold it in until they broke through. Luckily, Alex stretched her muscles and straightened up, tilting her head to invite Kelley to speak.

“So what’s up?” She sounded chipper as if she was expecting a light excuse as to why Kelley hadn’t smiled for the past three days.

Kelley perched herself on the edge of her own bed, considering what direction she wanted to approach first. She decided to start where all of her current issues seemed to have begun. “My ex came to the Seattle game. We talked afterward.” Her voice was quiet, but Alex tensed. Her whole attention was now devoted to Kelley.

“Oh.” Alex carefully chose her next words. “How is she?” Kelley raised an eyebrow, surprised that Alex hadn’t jumped from the bed or started threatening to hunt the other woman down. She’d done that a couple of months ago when Kelley had first mentioned the breakup. By the end of it, Kelley was more focused on trying to convince Alex to not go and scream obscenities at her ex. Kelley had planned to go and talk things through with her a week or so after they called things off and she didn’t want Alex to ruin her chances. Looking back on it, Kelley wondered if she should have just let Alex have a go.

“Um, she’s good. She’s really good.” Kelley kept her voice neutral, which wasn’t too hard because she still didn’t know how she felt about the whole encounter.

“So, what’d you guys talk about?” Alex asked, still keeping things casual.

“Well, at first, I was kind of mad to see her. I guess the surprise of seeing her in Seattle just threw me for a little, but she told me she’d gotten the tickets from a friend who didn’t know we’d broken up. Not really her fault. But, then she told me she wanted to get back together. She wanted to make things work. She said everything I wanted her to say when I approached the idea of getting back together over a month ago.” Kelley’s voice was no longer neutral as it slid into disappointment and sadness.

Alex folded her arms over her chest, still tense, but she managed to not jump on Kelley. “And? What’d you say?” Kelley tilted her head towards Alex, letting out a sigh.

“I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I can’t tell if I should be mad or forgiving and I think she could tell because she's giving me time to decide. She told me to call her within the next few days with an answer.” Ever since that night, Kelley’s phone had felt like a burden in her pocket, as if it taunted her with the proposition that her ex had presented.

“Have you called?” Kelley shook her head. “Are you going to?”

“Well obviously. Even if I never wanted to talk to her again, I still think it would be rude to not give her an answer.” Alex chuckled, admiring Kelley’s politeness.

“So what’s holding you back? Do you want to get back together with her?” Alex noticed the lost look in Kelley’s eyes and without her even having to say anything, Alex knew her answer. “You don’t know yet.” Kelley nodded but decided to explain so she could try and make sense of it.

“I missed her Al. I missed her so fucking much, but when she showed up in Seattle I didn’t feel anything. It was as if I was approached by an old friend that I haven’t seen for a while. And then she was saying things that I’d dreamt of months ago, but I didn’t feel the urge to immediately say yes. Christen said something to me a while back about both of us being different people from when we first started dating and I never really understood until I saw her that night. I still love her. I think I always will, but I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with her. But I still haven’t called her and I don’t know what to do.” Kelley frowned as the idea of making _the call_ made her stomach twist.

Alex let a faint smile slip. “Well, if I’m not mistaken, I think you may have already made the decision.” Kelley gave her a confused look, prompting Alex to explain. “You essentially said that you don’t want to be with her, so what’s stopping you from giving her the call and letting her down easy? I’m sure she’ll understand. I mean this all came about a month too late. If you've already made the mental decision, why not call?” Kelley brought her knees to her chest as the wheels in her head started to spin. Things started to click together, and she finally made sense of where she stood.

“Because she’s the safe option. I have control over what happens and I have a general idea of how it’s going to end. But then there’s the risky option. There’s the one where I’m scared of the uncertainty even though it’s what I really want.” Kelley kept it vague, still unsure if she should tell Alex about her feelings for Emily. Alex’s eyes lit up and Kelley knew that she didn’t really have a choice because Alex was going to pry it out of her anyways.

“So this other option.” Alex started off slow, but Kelley knew where she was going. “This other option doesn’t involve the security you’d get with your ex. What makes it full of uncertainty?” Kelley pondered for a moment before putting together an answer.

“Because they’re unpredictable and wild and impulsive and reckless.” Kelley couldn’t help but smile to herself as she thought of Emily. “But they make me the happiest I’ve ever been and I don’t know if me choosing them is right because if they don’t feel the same way, I don’t think I could bear to lose that feeling I have when I see them.” Alex’s expression softened.

“But isn’t that the whole point of a relationship?” Alex asked quietly. Kelley looked at her confused.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you’re going to be with someone, shouldn’t it feel unpredictable? Obviously, that person should feel like your safe place, but truly being with someone can be frightening. Being with someone shouldn’t feel easy, Kell. When you really want to be with someone, you’re going to do stupid and crazy things for the other because you can’t imagine your life without them. You should want to be with someone even if the future seems unpredictable because if you stay through the bad times and not just the good, then you know it was the right decision.” Kelley’s eyes were watering, prompting Alex to get off her bed and wrap her friend in a hug.

“Are you going to be okay?” Alex asked, pulling away from Kelley who was wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Yeah. I’m going to call her and tell her I can’t do it again. It wouldn’t be fair to me or her to try for something that we both know isn’t going to work in the end.” Alex smiled, nodding her head in agreement. She placed her arm around Kelley as she leaned in and rested her head on Alex’s shoulder.

“I’m proud of you Kell.” Alex paused a moment. Kelley wasn’t going to give her the name of the other option, but Alex had a way of knowing things and decided to throw out the question she’d been dying to ask since Kelley had shown up late to their bus in Seattle. “When are you going to tell Sonnett how you feel?” Kelley practically jumped up from the bed, causing Alex to laugh.

“What makes you think I have feelings for Sonnett?” Kelley said accusingly even though the blush that had risen to her cheeks betrayed her. Alex cocked her head to the side and gave her a look of ‘are you serious?’

“Hmm, let me think. Maybe its how Emily was one of the few people that could make you smile after the breakup. Oh, or maybe its how you two keep sneaking glances while the other isn’t looking. Or it could be how you’d drop everything for her in an instance. Honestly, it could just be the fact that you two showed up on the bus two days ago in each other’s clothes, suggesting something may have happened, and how you two haven’t spoken to each other since, prompting the conversation we’re having right now.” Alex leaned back smugly, knowing she’d figured it all out. Kelley quickly snapped her mouth shut after realizing it had been hanging open.

“Well if you’ve had it figured out this whole time, why not bring it up to me sooner?” Kelley whined.

Alex rolled her eyes as if the answer was obvious. “Because I knew you’d come and tell me about it eventually. I didn’t want to feel like I was bringing up something you weren’t ready to talk about. Plus, I wasn’t completely sure about everything until that morning on the bus. You’ve never been late to anything and you’ve never let anyone wear your favorite sweatshirt. Not even your ex. I knew I was 100% right about everything then.” Alex bringing up Kelley’s Stanford hoodie reminded her that she never actually got it back and that Sonnett’s shorts were still sitting in the bottom of her backpack. She’d been too focused on why Emily was avoiding her to make the move to get back her belongings and vice versa.

“Okay, I never actually meant to lend my favorite sweatshirt. It was an accident. Plus, things aren’t exactly great between us right now. She hasn’t said a word to me since that morning and I feel like something’s changed between us and I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. Based on how she’s been avoiding me, I’m leaning towards bad.” Kelley slumped back on the bed, suddenly feeling defeated.

“What did you guys even do that night? You didn’t sleep together did you?” Kelley’s eyes went wide.

“No! That’s not how I go about showing people how I feel!” Kelley was all flustered. Alex choked down a laugh.

“Okay, okay. So you didn’t sleep with her. Can you think of any other reason why she might be avoiding you?” Alex was genuinely curious about the details of that night, but it felt personal, so she didn’t want to ask for anything more than what Kelley was willing to share.

“Emily was upset to say the least when she saw my ex. I don’t think she understood that I hadn’t planned on her being there. And then I didn’t see her for most of the night-“ Kelley paused. Whatever happened to Emily that night was an unspoken secret between the two of them. Kelley wasn’t even completely sure about what actually happened. There was something Emily was hiding and Kelley knew it wasn’t her place to bring it up with anyone but Emily. She carefully organized her words. “She went for a walk and got caught in the rain. I gave her my sweatshirt, thinking it was something of hers because I mixed up our bags. But I could tell she was still upset when we both settled down back in our room.” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“What makes you say that?”

Kelley let out an exasperated sigh. “Emily asked if I’d forgiven my ex and I told her I wasn’t sure. I should have just told her everything I told you, but I messed up and now I’m about to lose one of the few things that I never thought I’d lose and it’s my fault.” She still hated the answer she gave Emily that night. Kelley thought that everything happens for a reason and you should never want to go back and change things because they all have a purpose. But if she could, she would go back to that moment and tell Emily the truth.

“The best advice I can give you is to take it one step at a time. Make the call and solve that issue. Then, explain things to Sonny and how this is just one big misunderstanding because I can’t stand both of you moping around. You’re bringing down the morale of everyone around you.” Kelley laughed at Alex’s mocking tone. “So whaddya say? Are you going to do the damn thing?” Alex suddenly felt the need to hype Kelley up, which only made both of them laugh harder.

After their laughs died down to a chuckle, Kelley nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m going to do it. Can I still come crawling to you if I break my heart again?” Kelley asked sarcastically with a hint of truth, knowing it was still a possibility.

“If that happens, I might be busy having a word with Sonnett, but I’ll be totally free afterward as your resident shoulder to cry on.” Alex grinned before reaching for Kelley’s phone that had been discarded on the hotel nightstand. Kelley took the phone, smiling nervously at Alex who was getting up from the bed. “I’ll leave you a few moments of privacy. Allie texted me anyways saying she wants dinner. I’ll make sure to bring you something back.” Kelley gave Alex a thumbs up before she directed her attention back to her phone. Her ex’s number stared back at her. The door to their room clicked softly behind them, leaving Kelley with no other choice but to utilize the privacy Alex had given her.

She picked up after the third ring. “Kelley?”

“Yeah.”

A pause. “How’s California?”

“It’s good. The weather’s really nice.” Kelley rolled her eyes. She didn’t call to talk about the weather.

“That’s good.” Another pause. “So, do I want to hear what’s coming next?”

Kelley sighed. “I think you already know.” Kelley didn’t sound malicious. She sounded mournful because she knew that this was the final moment that would close a major chapter in her life.

“Yeah, I thought so. We’re okay though right?” Kelley smiled at the hope in her voice.

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Thanks for telling me, Kelley. I-“ The voice on the other end stuttered. “I love you and I wish you nothing but the best moving forward.” She was still smiling.

“Love you too. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” The call ended.

Kelley let out a deep breath as the tension in her chest slowly unknotted. She tossed her phone back onto her bed and made her way over to her backpack. Kelley dug through the misplaced clothes and travel items until she saw the number 14. Before she could overthink everything and stop herself, she was making her way out of her hotel room and heading to Lindsey and Emily’s. She tried to calm the nerves in her stomach as she knocked on the door.

Kelley took a little step back as she heard shuffling on the other side with hushed words before the fumbling of the door handle. The door opened to Lindsey’s smiling face. There was a flash of something across Lindsey’s eyes after initially seeing Kelley that made her stomach twist even more, but she chose to ignore it. “Hey Kell!” Lindsey said a little too loud.

“Hi.” Kelley said softly, suddenly forgetting why she was at their door. Lindsey’s eyes wandered to the pair of shorts in her hand, jogging her memory. “Um, is Sonny here? I have something of hers.” Kelley raised the shorts a little as if Lindsey hadn’t already seen them.

Lindsey glanced over her shoulder, briefly sharing a look with Sonnett that Kelley couldn’t see before turning back. “You can actually come on in. I was just about to head over to Mal’s room.” Lindsey was already shuffling around Kelley, leaving the door propped open so she could still get in. Kelley could faintly hear whispers of protests from inside their room. “I’ll leave you two to it!” Lindsey smiled, flashing Kelley a quick thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck’ before she practically ran to Mal’s room down the hall.

“Uh thanks!” Kelley called after Lindsey, but she was already rounding the hall. Kelley turned back to their room, gently pushing the door open and stepping inside. She found Sonnett perched on the edge of her bed with a nervous smile plastered onto her face.

“Hi, Em.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Alex and Kelley friendship for you all! I hope this chapter eases some of your worries about the future of this work. Just a heads up that things may or may not go down hill next chapter. (Sorry in advance) Anyways, it was super fun writing Alex and Kelley together so I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!
> 
> Your comments on the last few chapters warmed my heart and continue to inspire future updates so keep 'em coming! I love chatting with you all so feel free to leave comments here or head over to my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Can't wait to update you all on the next one. It's definitely going to be a heavy chapter but i hope you guys are ready for it. The next chapter has been one of the one's i've been dying to post for a while now, so the anticipation is very very real. Buckle in! The ride is definitely not over.


	20. That would be nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett explains.

“Training was brutal today.” Lindsey whined as she collapsed on her bed. Sonnett was already laying on her bed staring up at the ceiling, trying to give her muscles a break. “Like I know we’re getting ready for the Olympics, but it feels like Dawn is trying to kill all of us off before we even get there.” That earned a chuckle from Sonnett. Lindsey rolled over on her stomach so she was staring at her friend.

Lindsey hadn’t brought up Kelley since they’d landed in California. Sonnett seemed happy. She laughed when she was supposed to laugh, she smiled and talked when there was a needed response, and she hung out with her friends because it was expected. But Lindsey knew that Emily’s plans of ‘letting it pass’ were still bugging her. She knew because of how in these moments, where it was just the two of them, she could see the emotional exhaustion weighing on Emily. She knew because Kelley hadn’t said a word to either of them in two days. She knew because Kelley’s Stanford hoodie still stuck out of Sonnett’s bag as if it had found a new owner.

“How you feeling Sonny?” It was a vague question. It didn’t have specifics, but it alluded to so many things Lindsey wanted to ask. She wanted to know why Emily felt the need to hide how she was really feeling. She wanted to know why Emily seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders and wasn’t willing to share the burden. Lindsey wanted to help her best friend because she couldn’t bear to see her like this.

Sonnett remained on her back with her eyes tracing the blank ceiling. “I’m good.” She said quietly. Lindsey frowned, clearly not satisfied with the answer.

“No, Em. Seriously. How are you feeling?” Lindsey waited a moment. Emily sucked in a deep breath before rolling on her stomach and facing Lindsey. She raised a questioning eyebrow. Lindsey took the chance to elaborate. “I can tell something’s up. And before you start to deflect, just know this has nothing to do with the person I know you’re thinking about. I want to hear about Sonnett and just Sonnett.” Emily closed her mouth, swallowing the argument she had already started to form.

Lindsey waited for a response as she saw the wheels start to turn in Emily’s head while she figured out how to peel back the layers of protection she’d created in her head. And finally, she spoke, “I’m tired Linds. Like really really tired.” And suddenly Lindsey’s thoughts weren’t thinking about Sonnett and Kelley. This was something else that had been added into the mix. Or maybe it was something that had been there before the Kelley issue was approached.

“Okay.” Lindsey’s voice had suddenly become quiet. “Is there any way I can help?”

Sonnett gave her a soft smile. “I don’t know.” Emily didn’t know if Lindsey could help. She didn’t know if anyone could fix the way she was feeling. “There’s a lot going on in my head right now and I can’t help but feel like it’s maybe my job to fix it, but I haven’t taken the time to actually do that.” Lindsey considered the idea.

“What if you weren’t the only one who is supposed to be doing the fixing?”

“That would be nice.” Emily says so because she knows its true. It would be nice if Lindsey could stop the anxiety and the numbness. It would be nice if things with Kelley magically worked out and Sonnett could stop feeling guilty about not talking to her. It would be nice if she weren’t afraid of waking up somewhere she didn’t recognize with remnants of memories she didn’t have. That would be nice.

“Don’t be afraid to phone a friend, Em. And I’m not just talking about myself.” Lindsey decided to bring Kelley back into the conversation, knowing that it was still an essential aspect to whatever Sonnett was choosing to deal with on her own. “She wants to talk to you, and I know you do too. You’re still in the safe zone, right? She’s still your friend Sonny.” Emily gave Lindsey a half-smile.

“What if I don’t say the right thing?” Lindsey shrugged.

“It’s still better than not saying anything at all.” Lindsey took a deep breath. “Look Sonn, I don’t know what’s going through your head. I can’t make you explain everything to me because I know I’m not the right person. You’re my best friend, but I know when it’s going to take someone else to push you into admitting that this is more than you having a few relationship issues. I’m not going to be the one to push you, but I really think you should talk to the person we both know will.” Lindsey knew something had happened that night with Kelley and Emily. There was something that they needed to figure out together and then Lindsey would resume her role as Emily’s number one support. But right now, she knew that Emily needed to talk to Kelley before she talked through everything else with Lindsey. The tears starting to form in Emily’s eyes were all the confirmation Lindsey needed.

“Talk to her. I’ll be there for whatever comes after.” Lindsey got off from her bed and laid next to Sonnett.

Emily leaned her head on Lindsey’s shoulder. She hoped Lindsey didn’t mind that a few tears had slipped and landed on her t-shirt. “I don’t know if I’d really be talking with her.” Sonnett was quiet. “I feel like too much time has passed for it to not end with either of us yelling at each other. I was really hurting that night, but I think I hurt Kelley more by doing what I did. I shouldn’t have gone to that bar. I shouldn’t have kissed that girl. I shouldn’t be ignoring her.” Lindsey sighed.

“Okay, then you two fight. Yell at each other. Say what you’re feeling and in the end if you both realize that this is something you can fix, then fix it together. Sugarcoating the issue isn’t going to make it any sweeter when you try to acknowledge it.” Emily was starting to feel like maybe going and talking with Kelley wasn’t such a good idea, but then there was a soft knock on their door. Lindsey was the first to get up. She peeked through the peephole before whipping around to Sonnett. Emily knew by the look on Lindsey’s face who it was.

“Don’t let her know I’m here!” Emily whispered. Lindsey rolled her eyes.

“You two need to figure your shit out.” She whispered back. And before Emily could stop her, Lindsey opened the door. “Hey Kell!” Emily muffled a groan at how awkward Lindsey sounded.

Emily could barely hear Kelley as she stood in the hallway. She was able to make out the last part of something Kelley was saying. “I have something of hers.” Then Lindsey’s eyes briefly met Sonnett’s, giving her a wink that only made Sonnett feel like throwing up, before she turned back to Kelley.

“You can actually come on in. I was just about to head over to Mal’s room.” Lindsey was in the hallway now. “I’ll leave you two to it!”

And then Sonnett was alone with Kelley.

“Hi, Em.”

“Hey.” Emily’s distracted her eyes from Kelley’s face by glancing at the shorts she held in her hands. Kelley followed Emily’s gaze and held them up like she remembered why she was in their room.

“Forgot to give these back to you.” Kelley handed Emily the shorts, being careful to not let their hands brush.

Emily took her shorts in her hands, trying to shove down the memory of Kelley with them on. “Thanks.” Emily took a second to look up at Kelley. She hadn’t done that in a while. She hadn’t really looked at her. Emily didn’t realize how much she missed it. She turned away and went over to her bags. Kelley stood where she was, watching Emily’s every move. She looked just as tired as Kelley felt.

"Here you go. I think you might want this back. I heard somewhere that this is one of your favorites.” Emily extended the hoodie, but Kelley didn’t move to grab it. She had a sad look on her face that ripped Emily’s heart out. “Unless you don’t want it back?” Emily tried to lighten the mood of the room, which suddenly felt unwelcoming. Kelley took a seat on Lindsey’s bed. She kept her eyes on Sonnett as she sagged her shoulders. Emily lowered her arm with the sweatshirt still hanging from her fingers.

“I hate this.” Kelley mumbled. Emily stayed frozen. “I hate that we don’t talk like we used to. I hate that I have to use a piece of clothing as an excuse to see you. I hate that we’re not okay.” Kelley had tears in her eyes, making Emily’s heart beat faster as a lump in her throat started to rise.

Sonnett kept her voice quiet. “You don’t have to find an excuse to see me.” Kelley let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, you haven’t exactly made it easy!” She started to get a little louder. Emily took a step back. “Something happened that night in Seattle. I could care less if you needed help after you got drunk, but the fact that you couldn’t even remember where you were that night scared me.” Kelley angrily wiped away a tear that slipped. Emily bit her bottom lip, trying to fight back tears of her own that threatened to surface.

“I remember.” She choked out. But the way she said it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself and not Kelley.

Kelley folded her arms across her chest. “Then tell me. Tell me how you could disappear for that long without telling anyone.” Emily sucked in a shaky breath. Her eyes started to sting.

“I went to take a walk after-“ She was already starting to stumble over her words. “After I saw her with you.” Emily’s voice broke at the end. Kelley’s expression softened, but she motioned for Emily to continue. “I took a walk because I couldn’t watch you go back to her. I didn’t want to just stay in our room for you to come back and tell me about her. And that may be selfish of me, but I couldn’t be there for you as a friend that night. Not after everything. Not right now.”

Kelley blinked a few times. “But you weren’t there at all. You just left. Emily, she wasn’t even supposed to be there.” Kelley winced, realizing how that sounded. It sounded like she hadn’t wanted Emily to see her with her ex. Like she had planned it. “I mean, I didn’t know she was in Seattle. She never told me.” By the look on Emily’s face, Kelley could tell that no matter how she tried to explain things, the damage was done.

Emily swallowed, angling herself away from Kelley. “I don’t want to do this right now, Kell.” Kelley gripped the sheets of the bed.

“If not now then when?” Emily flinched at the anger in Kelley’s voice. “What happened after you left the hotel?” Kelley’s voice turned into a plea, but Sonnett couldn’t let herself spill.

“Nothing!” She was shouting now. “I went for a walk, had a few drinks, got caught in the rain.” Kelley stood to her feet.

“Emily, what aren’t you telling me?” Tears streamed down Kelley’s face as she begged Sonnett to tell her what went wrong. “I’m here for you no matter what, even if you don’t want me to be. Something happened that night and after everything, I feel like I deserve the right to know.” Kelley sucked air into her lungs as if yelling at Emily drained her with every word. “Please.”

Emily moved to sit down on her bed. Her legs felt weak, her throat burned from the tears, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “Kelley, I can’t do this right now.” She needed Kelley to leave. She could feel the way her breathing had started to quicken, how she had started to fade in and out of the conversation before catching herself and forcing her attention back to Kelley.

“Why?” The strain from Kelley caused Emily to finally let the tears fall, but it also sparked the need to defend her actions. She was on her feet and yelling before she could stop herself.

“What do you want to hear, Kelley? Do you want to hear that I physically felt sick when I saw you with her? Do you want to hear that I went for a walk, stumbled into a bar, had a few sips of alcohol, and kissed a random girl?” Emily was fully crying, losing the energy to hide the secret she’d kept for so long. “Do you want to hear that I don’t remember the rest of the night? I can’t remember, okay? And that night wasn’t just me getting wasted. That was never the plan, but I can’t remember that night like I can’t remember my flight home after the NWSL Championship. I can’t remember most of a morning after at my own apartment. I don’t remember my flight to Seattle." Her voice was shaking. "I don’t remember last night. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Emily practically collapsed back on the bed. She had her head in her hands as she let the sobs wrack her body.

Kelley was at a loss for words. “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?” Kelley had lost the anger in her voice. Sonnett looked up from her hands, still feeling like she needed to keep her at an arm’s length distance.

“Because I had it under control.” She said sternly. Kelley scoffed. She was no longer angry about what was happening between them. She was angry about how Sonnett had chosen to hide this. She was angry about Emily choosing to put herself in harm’s way.

“You’re joking. You call that control? Jesus, Em. You’re going to get yourself hurt. How long have you been like this?” Kelley tried to keep herself calm, but the idea of Sonnett apparently not remembering a good portion of the past few weeks felt like a slap to the face. _How had she not noticed something this big?_

“It doesn’t matter. Seattle was a mistake. It won’t happen again.” Kelley took a step towards Sonnett.

“How long Emily?” Kelley wasn’t dropping this. She wouldn’t allow herself to.

Emily stepped forward, matching Kelley’s strict expression. “Kelley, I’m not doing this. I don’t need to explain myself.” Her hands were balled up into fists. Her eyes still stung from crying, but she tried to choke down the threat of any more tears as she told Kelley to leave. “Please leave.” Emily didn’t sound as confident as she wanted to as her words came out more like a whisper.

Kelley held her ground. “No. Not until you admit that you need help. This isn’t about us anymore. This is about you and your health.” Emily let out a frustrated sigh.

“Kelley, please leave.” She repeated, trying to sound more serious. _Don’t cry._

“Emily, you’re not okay!” Kelley shouted. That was the breaking point. Emily never thought she would yell at Kelley.

“Stop! Stop telling me what I am and what I’m not! I don’t need a babysitter, okay! It’s my problems, not yours. Jesus, Kell. Just get off my back for once.” Kelley’s eyes widened as she was taken aback by Emily’s response. Her cheeks felt hot and she began to speak without thinking.

“Are you fucking serious? How am I not supposed to give a shit? You went missing for hours and you don’t remember any of it! I had to find you drunk in the rain with lipstick smeared on your face. Don’t tell me you don’t need anyone to look after you when you can’t even look after yourself.” Kelley swallowed her guilt as Emily started to cry again.

“I had it under control!” She sounded like she was begging now.

“Right. Of course you do. It’s always Emily against the world.” Kelley couldn’t mask the hurt in her voice, suddenly regretting where their conversation had started to go.

Emily breathed in, feeling her stomach twist as she yelled back. “I don’t need you.” She paused to wonder if this is what heartbreak felt like. “I’ve been doing just fine for the last few years without you, so what’s a couple more?” Kelley stepped back as if her words had physical prowess.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kelley had suddenly gone quiet. Emily couldn’t stop herself. The damage was already done.

“You should forgive her.”

“What?”

_Stop crying._ “You heard me. Forgive her. You two deserve each other.” Kelley was crying now. Emily felt like her insides were fracturing and the air in her lungs had begun to seep out.

“You don’t mean that.”

Emily let out a scoff mixed with sadness. “It’s always Emily against the world, right? I’m selfish. I’m stubborn. I lie. I’m everything that screams stay away. So why can’t you do that?” Emily readied herself for one last plea. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever asked from you.”

Kelley looked defeated. “Is that what you want?”

_No._ “Yes.”

Kelley straightened. “Fine. Next time you decide to get drunk over a misunderstanding don’t come back to me.” Kelley had a finger pointed at Emily.

In just seconds, Emily had ruined one of the few things in her life that she considered to be untouchable. Everything around her seemed to still as she watched the invisible string that tied her and Kelley together snap. Realizing what she’d done, and thinking she had nothing else to lose, it only took her a few seconds to push Kelley’s hand away and close the distance between them.

Emily felt Kelley go stiff when their lips met. She waited for her to inevitably pull away. But she didn’t. Kelley suddenly relaxed and soon her hands we’re gently framing Emily’s face as she leaned in, deepening the kiss. Sonnett's hands slid neatly to Kelley's waste. Everything clicking into place. Kelley's lips tasted like the salt from her tears with hints of chapstick that Emily thought tasted like vanilla. It felt soft until the wave of heated passion slowly pulled back, leaving the repercussions of the last hour to spread through Emily's mind. Emily’s heart rate started to speed up. Kelley wasn’t pulling back. _Why wasn’t she pulling back?_

Emily slowly started to panic causing her to break the contact and catch her breath. She looked at Kelley’s hazel eyes trying to figure out what she was thinking, but all Emily figured out was that she couldn’t, wouldn’t, ever tell Kelley to stay away. Kelley’s eyes scrunched with concern.

“Em, you’re breathing really fast. Are you okay?” Kelley’s hand pressed gently to her chest and Emily suddenly felt the urge to grip onto that hand. _Why did it feel hard to breathe?_

“I’m sorry.” She started to say. “I shouldn’t have done that. That’s not how-“ _That’s not how it was supposed to happen._ “I’m sorry.” Emily could barely speak through the tears. They felt like they were lodged in her throat and she could barely focus on one thing. Kelley brought her free hand to Emily’s face, trying to bring Sonnett’s eyes back to her.

“Emily, I need you to breathe.” Kelley said slowly. Emily’s whole body shook as she tried to calm herself down. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Kelly slowly pulled Sonnett down with her so they were sitting on the ground, still facing each other.

“Please don’t leave.” Emily begged.

“I’m right here. But I need you to calm down. Match my breathing. Can you do that?” Emily nodded, sucking in one shaky breath after another, matching Kelley’s rhythm. As the seconds passed, she could start to see her surroundings again. She was now aware of the hand Kelley had pressed right above her heart, and the other hand that caught her tears as Kelley’s thumb wiped them away. She was aware of what it had felt like to finally taste Kelley’s lips and how that seemed to be the only thing she wanted right now.

Kelley slowly lowered her hand, letting her thumb brush the corner of Emily’s mouth. She hadn’t expected Emily to kiss her, but after the initial shock had worn off, Kelley had let her anger disappear because it felt right. It had felt like everything she'd been wanting. And then Emily had stepped back and Kelley had immediately started to worry. Sonnett looked just as surprised but her eyes were wide with fear and she couldn’t catch her breath.

Emily caught Kelley’s hand before she could drop it and brought it to her lips. She was looking down at Kelley’s hand before she finally raised her head and their eyes met again. Having calmed down, Emily readied herself to make a decision that should have happened a long time ago. Emily's searched Kelley's bloodshot eyes that were filled with worry and wonder. She knew immediately that this was something she had to do. “Could you text Lindsey to come back. This is something I need to tell both of you.” Kelley only nodded before doing as Emily asked. Lindsey’s response was immediate. They sat across from each other with Emily holding onto Kelley’s hand, finding comfort in the contact. She was still holding on when Lindsey re-entered the room.

Lindsey’s eyes widened at the state of her two friends. Both of their eyes were red, Emily looked like she was going to pass out, and Kelley couldn’t stop blushing. “Um, you rang?” Lindsey felt like this shouldn’t be a conversation she was walking in on, but Kelley motioned for her to come and sit next to them on the floor. Lindsey did as she was told, taking notice of Emily and Kelley’s hands gently linked together. That was a good sign, right?

“Emily has something that she’d like to tell both of us.” Kelley said quietly. Emily gave a short nod. She said a silent prayer that she wouldn’t twist her words into an unrecognizable version of the actual events like all the other times before.

“I’m not doing okay. I haven’t been okay in a while.” Kelley stared down at their hands, Lindsey kept her eyes on Emily. “That tackle in the NWSL finals. You know which one I’m talking about.” They both nodded. Lindsey suddenly started to feel very worried as to where Emily was going with this. This was bigger than just her feelings for Kelley. Kelley must have sensed it too because she began to hold Emily's hand just a little tighter.

Sonnett kept her voice steady, making sure she carefully thought out each of her sentences. “So here’s the thing. Ever since that tackle, I can’t remember certain things.” She turned to Lindsey. “Like I can’t remember when I almost burned down our apartment that one morning.” She turned to Kelley. “I can’t remember most of that night in Seattle." Her eyes went back to the ground. "Please don’t be mad that I’m telling you now and not when things started to get worse.” Emily paused, trying to figure out her next set of words. “I didn’t know what I was thinking. I thought I had it under control and I just wanted to focus on the Olympics. But things got worse each day. I felt sick to my stomach in training. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I couldn’t stop overthinking everything I did. I felt like I was losing my mind and on top of all of it, things with you started to get complicated.” Emily’s eyes flicked toward Kelley. “I mean, you saw how miserable I looked. I can’t hide it anymore.” Emily felt relief flutter through her when Lindsey placed her hands over Kelley’s, which was still entangled with Sonnett's. She gave a sympathetic squeeze.

"I want to tell you why I felt the need to hide it. I never wanted to hurt either of you." Emily took in one more breath, as she attempted to explain how she had been feeling so they could both understand why she felt the need to protect herself the first place. “These past few weeks, I feel like I’m swimming at the beach.” Lindsey and Kelley gave her a confused look because what could be so wrong about swimming at the beach? Sonnett chucked at their confusion before continuing to explain. “I’m swimming at the beach. The sun feels amazing. I’m with all my friends. I think I feel happy. But the way oceans work is that they have a current and if you’re not careful that current can pull you in without you realizing it. And suddenly, the sun doesn’t feel so good anymore because the ocean is cold. I can’t find my friends, and then I feel like I’m underwater, on the verge of drowning. I guess I didn’t want to tell you two because I felt like I’d be pulling you under with me. I didn't want to make you feel what I felt. I didn't want to be a burden. Are you mad?” Emily asked cautiously. Lindsey flashed an understanding smile that matched Kelley’s.

Lindsey answered first. “I’m not mad. It takes a lot to admit something like that and from the looks of you two, I’m guessing it was a lot.” They both nodded. Kelley let out a short laugh, which brought a smile to Emily’s lips. “The next step is up to you, but Em, if you keep playing it’s only going to get worse.”

“I know.” Emily’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Kelley spoke next. “I know you want to be on that Olympic roster just as bad as everyone else. But you have to take care of yourself otherwise that injury is going to be the thing stopping you from going, not a coaching decision.”

“It’s your move Sonn. We’ll both be here for you no matter what, but just know that I personally have never seen you so unhappy on the field and off the field. I want the best for my best friend and I don’t want to see you keep doing this to yourself, but we can’t do anything unless you’re willing to take care of yourself for once.” Emily let out a chuckle, appreciating Lindsey’s honesty. She took a look at two of the most important people in her life. Kelley had her head cocked to the side as if she was both admiring Emily but also making a point to listen to every word she had said. Lindsey had her usual smile hanging loosely off her lips as she waited for Emily to say something, hoping it would be a step in the right direction. Emily took a look at both of them, trying to ignore the feeling that told her things were about to be very different between the three of them. Emily mentally crossed her fingers, hoping the difference was positive.

“I think I need to go have a certain conversation with a certain medical staff.” Kelley let out a breath she’d been holding as relief shot through her. Lindsey squeezed their hands again.

“We’ll get through this okay?” Kelley encouraged as they all got to their feet.

A coy smile played at Emily’s lips. “Together?”

“Together.” For the first time in what felt like forever, Emily could relax, knowing she was now sharing the weight of something she’d been holding for too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i first started writing this story, i never thought the moment where they actually kissed for the first time would be wrapped up in a yelling match. But here we are, and the moment came and went, but I promise this story is not over in the slightest! I really hope you guys liked this chapter. The dialogue was kind of tricky, but i'm keeping my fingers crossed that it all makes sense and that it was worth the slightly late update. 
> 
> Please leave your thoughts in the comments. i love talking with you guys and if you want to message me about requests or general woso you can head over to my tumblr where I try to keep up with asks and anything else you guys want to send my way: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> I'm really excited to start wrapping up this work, hopefully with a pretty bow and giving every single one of you what you deserve out of this fic. When i put slow burn in the tags, i was NOT kidding. I mean first kiss at chapter 20? Oops. I hope you stay along for the last few twists and turns of the ride and I can't wait to bring it all together. See you all at the next one!


	21. I can wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett has a talk with Jill

Emily walked in between Lindsey and Kelley as they made their way to a random conference room that had been set up for the medical staff. It wasn’t until they were a few feet away that Emily started to feel her nerves firing again. Kelley seemed to notice as she quietly slipped a hand over the small of Sonnett’s back, seemingly steadying and guiding her movement. Emily looked down at her feet, letting the smile come to her. Her emotions had been strewn out and the effort of hiding any reactions she’d have to anything Kelley did seemed like wasted energy.

Just before they were about to make the turn into the medical room, Sonnett paused, her eyes immediately going to Kelley. “Can I just-“ She turned to Lindsey. “I just need to say something to Kelley really quick.” Lindsey flashed a knowing smile and gave them some space.

Emily took Kelley by the hands, keeping her eyes on the way their hands seemed to fit so neatly together. Kelley let out a low laugh. “You’re not backing out are you?” Momentarily confused as to what Kelley was referring to, Emily raised her eyes to meet Kelley’s. There was only kind sarcasm splayed on her face.

She shook her head, realizing Kelley was referring to her seeing the team medic. “No. I need to do this.” She cocked her head a little bit, debating if she should say what she had meant to. Kelley seemed to sense the hesitation at whatever Emily was about to say, so she decided to take control of the conversation to give her a little push.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. You need to figure out things for yourself right now. We’re good. We can figure us out later, okay?” Emily smiled shyly, letting her thumbs brush over the back of Kelley’s hand.

“Okay. I’m sorry again for back in the hotel room. I said some things, did some things, I’m not proud of.” Emily relaxed as Kelley let out a laugh.

“It wasn’t just you. I said some really shitty things to you.” Kelley’s smile faltered. “I just want you to know that I’m good if you’re good. We can fix things after we fix what’s going on in that head of yours.” Emily nodded, but doubt seemed to beg for her attention.

“Are you sure? I don’t-“ _I don’t want to leave things how they are. I don’t want this unknowing feeling sitting in my chest. I don’t want the unfamiliarity that comes with this new territory that we’ve found ourselves in._

Kelley cut her off before she could finish her sentence. “This is more important.” She freed one of her hands, pointing a finger before gently resting her hand over Emily’s heart. Kelley smiled when she felt her heart rate pick up beneath her fingertips. “I can wait.” At that, Emily gave one final nod, signaling that whatever was between them would be addressed later, but for now, she'd have to settle for the unspoken confirmation that things were good.

Emily wrapped Kelley in a hug, before turning to Lindsey to do the same. She then took one deep breath, appreciating the thumbs up from the two people she’d dragged with her before she entered the room.

“Hey, Sonny. What’s come up that you’ve decided to grace us with your presence today?” One of the medics said casually upon her entering. Kelley and Lindsey we’re sitting just outside of the door. She’d told them that this was something she wanted to do on her own, but that she’d need them directly after. Kelley had been a little harder to convince, but eventually, she gave in, sitting directly outside of the room with Lindsey to keep her company.

“Hi.” Sonnett felt her words jumble in the back of her throat. She glanced around nervously at the seemingly empty room, grateful that none of her other teammates were there. She let a few more uncomfortable seconds pass before the words began to untangle themselves, and she finally spoke. “I think I’m showing signs of a concussion.” The medic raised an eyebrow, but Sonnett already felt relief fluttering through her chest. She’d said the words she was so afraid of saying to the people she never wanted to know. The hard part was over, making each explanation afterward come with ease.

“Okay, let’s have a seat and talk through this. How long have you been noticing these symptoms?” Emily delved into the NWSL Championship and the tackle that she believed to be the culprit. She admitted that although her stats weren’t great, she’d passed the first concussion test. She then went on to say that things haven’t been right since, and that the symptoms have progressed and how the overwhelming stress of the Olympics has been a factor in the resulting mess that she currently was.

The medic listened carefully, taking notes casually as he let Sonnett talk. Her voice was steady the entire time. She found herself gaining more confidence as she talked, noticing how the pressure of the secret she’d held seemed to become lighter and lighter and it suddenly felt like she could breathe again.

“And I know I should have addressed the issues sooner. But I don’t think I realized the impact it was having on me until it conflicted with my personal life, not just professional.” The medic nodded knowingly as he finished off his final note.

“I get it. You guys have a short timeline leading up to your next major tournament. Brushing off an injury is easy to do when there’s something being held over your head as motivation. I think, just without doing further tests, I can conclude that obviously, something is up. We’ll run the full concussion test one more time just to be sure, but I think we both already know the answer.” Sonnett nodded, trying to ignore the threat of anger that seemed to build at the fact that this was going to sideline her. “I also think we should also set you up with some mental health backing. I’d like to schedule you with a psychiatrist that you see once a week. Where are you spending your offseason?” Emily felt her stomach twist a little.

“Uh, Georgia. In my home town.” She started to fidget with the seam of her shorts. “Are you sure that’s necessary?” She asked quietly. The medic gave her a comforting smile.

“You seem to have a lot going on your mind. My goal is to have you ready by Olympic qualifying and I don’t believe that will be possible unless your physical recovery is in line with your mental recovery. It’s natural to be suspicious of something like that, but based off of everything you told me, this is something I really want you to consider.” Emily only nodded, knowing that he was right, but still suspicious as to whether it was something she wanted to agree upon.

“Alright, should we get this test over with so we can set up a recovery plan for you as soon as possible?” Emily relaxed. _This is good_ she reminded herself. A part of her also tugged on the idea that she was getting better to be better not only for herself but for Kelley and for Lindsey.

The tests confirmed what Emily and the medic already knew. He gave Jill a call, asking her to come by so Sonnett could talk through what the next couple months would look like. Emily tried not to jump when Jill entered through the doors with a curious look on her face.

“What’s this concussion you apparently have?” Emily let out a nervous laugh, being sure to let the medic do the talking. He confirmed the concussion and listed out what he thought was the best plan. If everything worked out, in two months time she’d be ready for the Olympic qualifying at the start of February. Jill turned to Emily.

“The plan sounds good to me. I’ll let you skip out on the Georgia leg of camp to get started as soon as possible. You’re welcome to stay with the team until we leave for Georgia. I’m sure changing your flight would be an unnecessary hassle. We’ll take it easy with you for these next few days until our game to make sure you’re still involved. I’m really sorry this happened Sonny, but I expect to see you in February.” Jill gave Emily a reassuring nod.

“I’ll be there.” Emily said confidently. And with that, Emily left the room, closing the doors behind her, trying to regulate her breathing. _This is good_ she reminded herself once again. After mentally saying it a few more times, she started to believe it.

Kelley and Lindsey were on their feet, giving her cautious looks. She slipped on a smile that she let reach her eyes. “I’m finished for this camp.” She said simply. Their demeanors dropped a little, knowing the reasoning behind it. But Emily was still smiling because for the first time in the past few weeks, she felt hope that things were going to be better. “I’ll be back though, so drop the long faces.” She met Lindsey and Kelley with open arms.

“I’m proud of you.” Lindsey whispered. Kelley kept quiet, but she showed her support in the way she gently looped her pinky with Sonnett’s, holding it tight as if she was making her keep the promise of her returning in February.

In the following days, the news of Sonnett’s injury spread throughout the team. She wasn’t bothered by it and appreciated the words of encouragement given by each of her teammates. Rose, Sam, and Mal made promises of doing weekly checkups and putting together a get-well package. Emily was honestly scared about what that would actually consist of, but she agreed to let them do it anyway. Ali made a point of giving Sonnett advice based off of her own concussion journey, reminding her that if she ever needed someone to talk to about it, to not be afraid to drop in.

And as much as Emily wished she could be on the field, she couldn’t help but welcome the sense of relief that seemed to come with her first break, even if it was unintentional, in what seemed like forever.

“What’re you smiling about?” Kelley walked up to Emily who had been watching practice from the bench. She’d been watching them practice, letting the sun wash over her, cheering when they’d done something worth celebrating, which was often, and humming to the music that had been blaring over the speakers. Emily’s smile only widened at Kelley’s presence.

“I like watching you play.” She said before she tossed Kelley a water bottle. Things between them were caught between casual flirting and friendly conversation. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress.

“You going to hype me up on Friday?” Kelley said slyly as she tossed the water bottle aside, taking a seat next to Sonnett, relaxing for just a moment before she was called back. Emily chuckled.

“As if you need the encouragement.” Kelley pretended to be offended, dawning a frown with wide eyes. Emily only rolled her eyes in response. “Of course I’ll be cheering you on. Always have. Always will.” At that Kelley smiled and Emily made a mental bet on whether Kelley was blushing from the heat or because of what she'd said. Sonnett hoped it was her words.

“I’ll be sure to listen for you.” Kelley’s hand gently squeezed Emily before she was pulled away back towards the fields. Emily watched her go, smiling to herself when Kelley looked back to see if she was staring. Kelley’s words floated through Emily’s head as she continued to watch her play. _I can wait._ Emily held the words close to her heart, knowing she’d need them when she wasn’t seeing Kelley every day. She’d need them when they finally found the time to address the complicated link they now shared. She’d need them when she started to doubt if she deserved Kelley. Emily made a silent promise to truly get better, even if it meant not having Kelley until then. Kelley was willing to wait, and as Emily watched Kelley laugh at something funny Alex had said, she held onto those words, hoping she could to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little filler chapter for you all! This is just to keep the ball rolling, but thought I'd add in a few so'hara bits just because I still feel bad about not letting them do anything with each other till like chapter 20. There will be a couple more twists and turns so hold onto your hats and keep your fingers crossed that i can figure out these next few chapters!
> 
> Your comments and love on the last chapter were the best!! I loved seeing your reactions and reading through every thought you all had. Feel free to dump your thoughts in the comment section again or head over to my tumblr to chat! (uswnt-among-other-things)
> 
> I'd call the next few chapters casual. BUT, i will say that there is something I'm excited to update about later on, so look out for that as we get these random plot chapters out of the way. Cause lets be honest, we're all here for so'hara, and I want to give it to you all. Catch you guys at the next one!


	22. Two months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily goes home

When the news broke that she was injured and out for the remainder of camp, Emily expected to feel sad. She expected to feel self-conscious and defensive when the floods of concerned texts came in. She expected to cry when she called her parents, breaking the news. What she didn’t expect was to feel content.

The wave of calmness that slowly rolled over her was more than enough to confirm that this was the right decision. She carried that feeling with her because it eased the one source of hurt she had been feeling amidst all of it. It only came when she realized that although her stepping away and taking time for herself was necessary, it also meant she was stepping away from Kelley. It would probably be a full two months until she saw her again and if Emily thought about it too much, the calmness would dissipate and she was left with the hurt. All she would think about was Kelley and how two months was a long time to not see someone. And with everything stuck in a tie between 'we need to talk' and 'we're good for now', those two months seemed more daunting with every passing moment.

So, she held onto the calmness because it distracted her. She carried it with her when she found her spot on the bench, when she stood on the sidelines for the anthem, when she found herself staring at Kelley from across the team huddle, and when she finally sat back and watched them play.

Germany was pressing their defensive line hard, reminding everyone in the sold-out stadium that this was going to be a good game. Alyssa came up with some major saves and after about thirty minutes into the first half, they finally found their offensive footing, returning the favor.

As they went into the locker room, concluding the first half, the team’s morale was set in a state of quiet seriousness. The score was 0-0 and although the team had been playing extremely well, Emily could tell they knew it wasn’t good enough. She found her seat at her locker, staying out of the way of her teammates, letting them do the talking, the discussing, the planning.

With Emily hanging back near the edges of conversation, Kelley had to make an actual effort to approach her. They were already gearing up to go back out onto the field. Emily was fidgeting with her sweats but raised her eyes when Kelley approached. _Where they always that blue?_

“How are you doing?” Kelley asked innocently. Emily let a soft smile slip onto her lips.

“You’re playing amazing.” Kelley smirked, noticing how Sonnett had redirected the attention away from her.

“Thanks. Now, are you going to answer my question?” Kelley settled into the locker next to her. They both kept their eyes forward, watching as some of their teammates started to filter out.

“I’m good. I’m really good.” Kelley could tell that she meant it by the sound of her voice. There were no hints of regret or emotion that betrayed her words. They were genuine.

“I miss playing with you.” Kelley kept her tone playful, nudging Sonnett with her elbow, which brought out a laugh. “But, I’m glad things are evening out.” Emily let out a sigh so quiet that Kelley would have missed it if she weren’t sitting so close.

“I miss you too.” Kelley’s heart fluttered. Emily had made a point to say that she just missed Kelley. Not just playing with her or hanging out with her or being with her. Just Kelley. As if she encompassed all those things she missed.

“Walk with me back to the field?” Kelley asked. Emily smirked.

“Of course.”

They playfully brushed shoulders as they walked out, side by side. Their strides fell into place until they were forced to diverge when Kelley stepped onto the field, and Emily stepped back towards the benches.

The game resumed with a new intensity that seemed to rock the entire stadium. And when they finally got a corner late in the second half, Emily didn’t realize she was holding her breath until Alex was able to slot one in off a misplaced ball by one of Germany’s defenders. The crowd and bench erupted. Sure, this was only a friendly, but playing against Germany was always going to have a certain level of importance. With the possibility of another win nearing closer as the minutes ticked down the team was buzzing just as much as the fans.

And when that final whistle blew, resulting in a 1-0 win, Emily found herself with celebrating her team as if she had been a part of every play on the field. And oddly enough, she found herself gravitating towards Kelley, wrapping her in a hug, and whispering congratulations.

Kelley giggled into Emily’s shoulder, holding her close, not caring that there were thousands of cameras throughout the stadium zooming in on what was definitely a prolonged contact between the two that extended past friendly. “The others may not know it, but this win is for you.” Kelley said softly. Emily only smirked and held her tighter, hoping it was enough to hide the blush that had risen to her cheeks.

The team headed back to their hotel with tired legs and tired eyes. But as Lindsey turned off the light to get some sleep before their flight the next morning, Emily found herself staring at the ceiling of yet another hotel, letting her thoughts ruin any chance of her getting some rest.

Her began to wonder about what life back home was going to be like over the next two months. The recovery visits, the therapy, the concerned looks from her family. Emily wondered if she was as ready for it as she wanted to be. But as she filtered through her thoughts, she ended up coming down to the one thing that always seemed to be on her mind. Emily began to wonder what life without Kelley was going to be like over the next two months. _I can wait._

Kelley’s words seemed to ring in her ears like a promise she hoped would never be broken. The idea of Kelley giving her space to figure herself out, although endearing, made Emily feel sick to her stomach. Kelley had been one of the two people that had finally made Sonnett break and spill everything that she had caged against her better judgment. Kelley helped Emily take the first step, and now as she stared at the ceiling, letting the hours tick by, she wondered if she was going to be able to continue walking without her.

Her thoughts rotated like an overplayed record, over and over, until they lulled her into a dreamless sleep. Lindsey’s alarm woke her many hours later, reminding her that this was the day where she’d be parting ways from the team until February. And that was if everything went according to plan. The uncertainty of it all threatened the positive attitude Sonnett was trying to hold onto as she packed her bags and walked with Lindsey to the team breakfast.

Emily ate her food in silence, being sure to laugh and join the conversation when it was needed from her. She went through all the motions. Finishing breakfast, tuning out a pep talk from Jill about finishing out camp on a high note, sitting next to Lindsey on the bus, going through security at the airport, and finally waiting for the plane to take off. She didn’t even have to ask before Lindsey offered her one side of the headphone, now knowing the source of Emily’s nerves on flights, trying her best to distract her as they flew to Georgia.

And as the plane landed, Emily took one deep breath as she readied herself for the start to a long two months. “Come here.” Emily rolled her eyes as Lindsey pulled her into a hug, fighting back the tears that threatened to surface. “I’ll miss you. Please call, or I will. Either way.” Lindsey mumbled. Emily only nodded, knowing if she tried to speak, she’d only get upset.

Sonnett was about to go search the airport for her ride home when she felt a gentle hand pull on her wrist. Kelley was staring at her with wide eyes. “Thought you could leave without saying goodbye?” Her voice was small.

“Of course not.” Emily pulled Kelley into a hug, holding her tight, knowing this would be the last time for a while that she’d be able to hold her like this.

“I’m going to miss you.” Kelley’s voice shook.

“Have fun Kell. Don’t worry about me.” Emily tried to keep her voice neutral, hoping against everything that she would not cry.

Kelley bit her bottom lip. “You could come to the game? I’ll see if I can buy you tickets.” Emily chuckled.

“That’s okay. Really. I’ll be supporting you even if I’m not physically in the crowd.” Sonnett hated how Kelley’s shoulders dropped in defeat. In all honesty, she wanted to go to the game. She wanted to be there in person, but until she made her first steps in recovery, Emily didn’t want to risk the emotional pull that she would have if she went to the game. She didn’t want to risk the yearning to be on the field, to be with Kelley. And as Kelley nodded in acceptance, Emily was reminded once again about how long the next two months were going to feel.

Kelley went in for one last hug. “Two months.” She whispered before she dragged her feet away from Emily and back to the team.

And just like that, Emily was alone.

~~~

She’d only let Emma come to the airport. Emily knew she wasn’t ready to see her parents just yet, hoping the drive home would be enough time to settle her nerves before the eventual interaction.

“I’m happy you’re home.” Emma said, breaking the comfortable silence Emily had been enjoying on their drive. 

"Yeah, me too.” It was a simple lie. One Emily could live with because it made her sister smile. Emma replaced silence with the radio.

Emily hummed each song that played, the time before they were home slowly dwindled, and suddenly she was feeling the familiar bump of her parent’s driveway. She saw her parent’s standing on the porch with their faces drawn in nervous excitement and hands that waved just a tad too enthusiastically. Emily slipped on her best smile, letting her parents smother her in hugs as she dropped her bags at the front door.

She let her parents fuss over her. She let her dad carry her bags in. She let Emma mouth ‘I’m sorry’ at the way their parents were worrying over her with obvious concern. She let herself go through the motions, fighting back the urge to just go to her room and lock the door. Emily knew her family missed her as much as she did, so she let them have their moment.

“I told them not to be weird about it.” Emma mumbled as she set Emily’s suitcase down on her bed. “But you know how they are.” Emily laughed, throwing herself onto her bed, relaxing at its familiarity. Emma slid next to her.

“It’s fine. They’re just being normal parents.” Emily turned to look at her sister. “I’m happy to be home. Really.” Emma smiled, secretly hoping she actually meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you a lackluster update! Like I said, these next few filler chapters are just here for plot's sake! I can't wait to get back to the fun stuff, which I can tell you all will be very very soon!
> 
> ALSO, if you're reading this hi! Stop what you're doing and go watch the Portland Thorns vs. Washington Spirit game that happened last night. You will not be disappointed and I will add in a spoiler that our Sonnett got a goal. That's right. You heard me! A GOAL. And that is just a little sneak peak into the gift that was that game. Hope you guys got the chance to watch it!!
> 
> If you want to talk about last night's game, general woso, or even add in requests or thoughts about this work, head over to my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things  
> And don't be afraid to comment your thoughts here! I love reading through what you all think so I can figure out how to make each update better. Your words of support and love mean the world!
> 
> Keep your fingers crossed that I can figure out this next update. It's looking to be a longer one, with some potential to be good. Thanks for staying this long, can't wait to see you guys at the next one!


	23. Enjoying life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily finds a new routine

Emily spent her days alone. She would wake up every morning, do the formalities with her family, and then dragging herself back to her room. When she forced herself out from her house, she’d go on runs. She’d run and run until her lungs burned and her legs felt weak. She’d wander to her favorite places from her childhood, greeting familiar faces with a forced smile.

She followed this pattern until it was interrupted by her mandatory therapist visit. Emma had been the one to remind her. “Hey, don’t you have something today?” She was standing just outside of the doorway to Emily’s room as if there was an invisible line keeping her back. Emily turned to her sister, confused.

"I don’t think so?” She said. Emma suddenly had that worried look on her face that tended to slip through her mask of happiness from time to time. Emily tensed a little.

“Oh, I just thought you had those mandatory visits.” Emma’s voice was small, knowing she was testing dangerous territory. Emily remembered now. Her shoulders slouched before she ran unsteady fingers through her hair.

“No, you’re right. Must have just forgotten.” Emma nodded, but Emily could tell there was something else. “Anything else Em?” She kept her tone cheerful, trying to put away her twin’s worry.

Emma had her eyes down towards her hands, where she was running her thumbs over each other, something of a nervous tick. “The games tomorrow.” She mumbled. Emily kept still, knowing what game she was talking about.

“And?”

Emma finally met her sister’s eyes. “Mom and I had bought tickets awhile back. We didn’t…” Emily knew what words were supposed to follow where her sister trailed off. _We didn’t know you wouldn’t be playing. We didn’t know what was going to happen._

“Okay.” Emily whispered to fill the silence.

Emma took a deep breath as if her next words only made her more nervous. “Well, mom had something come up.” Another pause. Another breath. “I was wondering if you’d want to come with me to the game?” Emily didn’t respond immediately. She let the jump in her heart rate settle. She let her breathing even out.

“I don’t know Em.” The thought of being in the stands watching her friends and teammates, watching Kelley, suddenly became a possibility. But it was a possibility that she didn’t know if she was willing to take. Her twin nodded.

“The game is not until late tomorrow night. You don’t have to come. Just thought you’d maybe want to go. You wouldn’t even have to say hi to the team. You could just come as my plus one and we could enjoy ourselves for the night.” Emma listed out her explanation as if she’d planned for her sister’s apprehension.

Emily considered her twin’s proposition before finally deciding. “I’ll think about it.” Emma’s eyes lit up briefly, and Emily couldn’t help but smile at her silent hope. “No promises though. So have a backup option.” Emily added. Emma only gave her a knowing smile, nodding in agreement before disappearing from Emily’s view.

Emily was left in her own silence once again. She glanced at the clock that sat on her nightstand, knowing she was short on time. Forcing herself out of bed, she mumbled quick ‘goodbyes’ and ‘I’ll be back shortlys’ to her family before slipping out of her house.

Her thumbs tapped to the beat of a song that played softly on the radio. It was occasionally interrupted by the voice of the GPS, which directed her to a quaint looking office building that looked all too welcoming.

Emily slowly walked in, having the email open on her phone that had the letter from the team’s medical staff. And before she knew it, she was sitting across from an unfamiliar face that started to introduce herself like an old friend.

“Hi, Emily.” She offered a hand. Emily shook it.

“So, why don’t we start off with a simple question?” Emily doubted it would be that simple. “Why are you here today?”

Emily kept quiet for a moment, silently organizing her thoughts. “Because things haven’t been okay, lately.” The other woman nodded.

“Elaborate on that.”

Emily worried her bottom lip. She was going to have to tell this stranger everything that was going through her head. Everything she fought so hard to keep secret until it was forced out of her. “I don’t love the things I used to anymore. Playing used to bring me so much joy, and now I get confused as to whether I’m excited or anxious. And then I start to think that I just can’t handle the pressure. That I’m not good at dealing with stressful situations. That I don’t have control.”

She nodded. “So this feeling of anxiety that you’ve been experiencing, how long would you say it’s been like this?” Emily thought back on the timeline that was her playing career. She rifled through each moment until she found the one where things started to crack.

“I’d say after the World Cup. I mean before that tournament, I was stressed about making the roster, but things were different after the fact. I don’t know if it was the smaller roster or the fact that I didn’t make the last Olympics, but things started to shift and I wasn’t so worried about what I could contribute to the team. I was more worried about everything I did. Was I doing this wrong? Why couldn’t I do this as perfect as the person next to me? Am I just not good enough?”

“And I’m assuming these thoughts started to spread past your professional life and began to impact your personal life?” Emily felt herself smile as if that idea was extremely obvious.

“Yeah. I think after the injury, I started to lie to myself. I told myself that even with all my responsibilities as a teammate, player, and friend, with this new issue that I didn’t ask for, and the thoughts and stresses in my head, that I could handle putting myself in an environment that seemed to test everything I was trying to protect myself from. At the end of each day, it left me exhausted.”

“As it should. I understand the need to protect yourself. To put up this bubble around you because vulnerability is something most people turn away from. With everything that has happened, leading you here…” She gestured between the two of them. “…where are you now and how can I help guide you to a place where you’d like to be.” Emily pondered the question. She thought about how the last week of her new dulling routine made her devoid of any feelings. How it made her feel like she was losing touch with herself.

“I don’t know.” And it’s an honest answer because she isn’t sure where she stands. Emily knew that she was going in the right direction by taking time off, but she also knew that she wasn’t happy. That things weren’t how they were supposed to be. That she was missing something. Someone.

“And that’s okay. Would you mind trying and giving a general idea?” Emily nodded before she repeated everything that was running through her head.

“I want to do this to be better. To get better. Not just for myself, but for the people that always believed in me more than I ever have. But it’s been hard to step away. I’m not happy about it and I just feel like I’m missing a part of me that has always been there.” Emily took a deep breath. “They’re playing in Georgia tonight. My sister offered to go see the game with me, but I don’t know if saying yes would be the right thing to do.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I’m going to be wishing I was on the field and not in the stands. Because I’m going to see them all laughing and doing what they love and it’s going to remind me that I’m not there with them.”

“I see. I can tell that this team means a lot to you. It’s not just about wanting to play again. The people you play with seem to have a huge part in your life.” Emily nodded. “I’m not going to be the one who makes decisions for you. If you don’t want to go to the game then don’t. But I do think that acting as a spectator for once will remind you why you’re doing this and what you’re hoping to get back to, hopefully with a new purpose and a new outlook. You mentioned wanting to get better for others. Are some of those people going to be playing tonight?” Emily nodded again, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach.

“And you mentioned them believing in you more than you have for yourself.” Another nod. “If I’m not mistaken, support tends to go both ways. I can tell how much you care for them, and I want you to know that they won’t think of you any less just because you’re sitting in the stands rather than standing on the field.”

Emily sighed. “I feel selfish for wanting what they have, especially when all they’ve done is been there for me.” Her voice felt small in her throat. The woman across from her gave a slight smile.

"You’re not being selfish. It’s normal for people to want what they once had. But you’re talking as if you’re never going to return to the field again. Emily, I want you to understand that mental health at its lowest negatively impacts people’s ability to do their jobs, to keep up with their responsibilities, to feel like themselves. You would be taking time off for a physical injury like your concussion, yes?”

“Yes.”

“What we’re doing right now, and you taking time off, is just like rehabbing any other injury. Just because it may not seem physical doesn’t mean it isn’t there and isn’t something that needs to be taken care of.” Sonnett started to understand what she meant.

“So what should I do?”

“Emily, all I’m going to say is that you shouldn’t hold yourself back from enjoying life once in a while. Maybe going to this game and watching it will be that edge you need to start loving and wanting to play again.” Emily only smiled and nodded, slowly coming to a decision in her head. 

~~~ 

Emily was ten minutes away from her house when she got the call. Her mind was wandering while her body instinctively knew which turns to take and what roads to go on until her focus was redirected to the ringing. Without taking her eyes off the road, Emily answered the phone.

“Hey.”

“Em.” Emily slowed her car down and pulled over. She was in a residential neighborhood that was next to her parent’s area.

“Kelley.” She breathed out. “Hi.” She hadn’t heard Kelley’s voice in almost a week. They’d been casually texting since Emily had left the team at the airport, but neither had called. Lindsey had done the occasional phone call check-in with a few of their other teammates yelling 'hellos' in the background. Sonnett had thought she would be hearing Lindsey’s voice. She smiled at the surprise.

“How are you?” Kelley’s voice was quiet and from what Sonnett could here, there were background conversations. She checked the time and assumed that the team was probably just about to start a group dinner.

“Never better.” Sonnett said, hoping Kelley could pick up on the sarcasm.

“Oh really? And here I was thinking you’d miss me. Or at least Lindsey.” Emily chuckled. She could almost see the smile on Kelley’s lips as she talked. It felt all too familiar.

“Lindsey hasn’t called me today. So you’re correct about that.” Kelley’s laugh came out muffled. “How are you, though? Ready for tomorrow?” Emily rested her head on the driver’s side window, welcoming its cold touch.

“I called to ask about you.” Kelley said, almost too quietly for Emily to hear through the phone.

The sun was just above the horizon, causing the sky to flash its best colors. Emily wished she could be looking at the sky with Kelley. “And what if I don’t want to talk about me?” A pause.

“Then we don’t have to. But keep talking. I missed your voice.” Emily closed her eyes, understanding how Kelley felt.

“What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything.”

Emily thought for a moment. Her eyes wandered to the sky again. “It’s going to be a pretty sunset.”

“Describe it to me.”

“It’s bright in certain sections. But there’s little streaks of purple that blend with red and orange before it all centers around bits yellow. It keeps changing. The purples seem to be spread. The yellows are getting less bright.” Emily’s voice was steady.

“Sounds pretty.”

“Maybe if we’re lucky, the sunset tomorrow will be just like this one. Can you imagine that? All of those colors just above the stadium lights.” Emily had seen plenty of sunsets over stadiums she’s played in. Although she couldn’t usually focus on them for long periods of time, it was always nice to just look up and watch the sky shift until it got dark and all that would be left was the harsh lights of the stadium.

“I’ll keep my eye out for it.” Emily’s heart tugged. She wanted to tell Kelley that she would be looking at it with her. Somewhere between the last words exchanged with her therapist and the call with Kelley, Emily had made the mental decision to take up her sister’s offer. She wouldn’t admit that hearing Kelley’s voice swayed her decision, but it was safe to say it helped. Apparently, Kelley was hoping for the same thing. “You could always still come to the game and look at it with me?” Her voice sounded shy all of a sudden as if her inviting Sonnett to their team’s game was a bigger deal than it actually was. Sonnett felt the corners of her mouth tilt up, deciding to keep her new decision to attend the game for herself. She’d tell Kelley later.

“And miss you describing it to me later? I don’t think so.” Emily heard a soft chuckle.

“You’re really giving me a hard time here.” Kelley said sarcastically.

“I do my best.” Emily started to hear background noise that sounded a lot like Jill. She knew their conversation was about to come to an end.

“I have to go, but don’t think I won’t forget about the sunset tomorrow. It'll be an excuse to call you again.” Kelley didn’t sound like she wanted to hang up. Emily almost laughed at how annoyed her tone came out when she spoke.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Emily watched the sun touch the horizon. The sky looked completely different from when she had first described it.

“I’ll talk to you later, Em.” And with that, Kelley hung up first and Emily was left to drive the rest of the distance home in silence, not wanting to ruin the way her mind had settled on Kelley’s voice and the sunset as if the two had intertwined and left a feeling of growing happiness in Emily’s chest.

She was still holding onto that feeling as she walked back into her house, where she was greeted by her sister. “What’s got you all smiley?” She asked. Emily noticed how she still had that look of hope in her eyes. It was significantly better than the worried stares she’d been getting the past week.

“You still have that extra ticket?” She asked. Emily smirked as her sister’s eyes lit up and a grin spread across her face.

“You’re coming?” Emma sounded like she still didn’t believe Emily.

“Yeah. I got some good advice about making a point to enjoy myself once in a while.” Emily laughed as her sister wrapped her in a hug.

“That’s some good advice.” She said, holding her tight.

Emily stepped back, still smiling. “I thought so too.” Emma pulled her sister back in for one more hug before letting her go. Emily made her way back to her room, starting to feel tired with the day dwindling.

When she opened the door to her room, she was greeted with the pile of unopened suitcases at the end of her bed. Usually, Emily would ignore them, promising to unpack when she ran out of the clothes she’d left at her parent’s house. But her bags seemed to stare at her with judgment. Well, to be fair, it was imaginary judgment. They hadn’t been touched or moved since her sister had dragged them up the stairs and dumped them next to her bed. Every day they seemed to taunt her, begging to be opened, to be unpacked, to be moved.

Emily sighed, knowing the feeling of imaginary judgment would only keep growing if she didn’t do something about them. And with nothing else interrupting her empty schedule, she finally decided to take on the task, feeling a little more productive than she had throughout the entirety of this past week. She forced herself to not crawl into bed, practically dragging her feet as she loomed over her belongings.

She knelt in front of her bags, unzipping them slowly before pulling out crumpled pieces of clothing and misplaced belongings one after the other. Emily was probably halfway through when she noticed the edge of a red hoodie sticking out from beneath the mess of unfolded clothes.

Her breathing stuttered a little as waves of memories washed over her. Emily’s fingers brushed over the visible part, knowing immediately it was Kelley’s Stanford hoodie. She remembered briefly never having the chance to give it back to Kelley in the midst of their conversation turned argument. Emily must have packed it with all of her other things as if had found new ownership. She pulled it out from beneath the pile, running her hands over the wrinkled fabric and worn out lettering. She smiled at how soft it still felt.

Without really thinking, she pulled it over her t-shirt, settling into its comfort. It still smelled like that night. It smelled like hotel sheets, her shampoo, Kelley’s perfume. It felt warm, safe, secure.

Later that night, Emily ended up falling asleep in Kelley’s hoodie, letting the familiar feeling of Kelley’s arms around her make its way into her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter with bits of plot that move the story forward yet again! Fun fact: This is the last pre-written chapter i have, so the rest of this story is just floating around in my head, waiting to actually be written. I still plan on doing daily updates, but don't freak out if they're a couple hours late. More things are coming, very very exciting things.
> 
> If you have requests, extra comments, or just wanna talk about woso you can head over to my tumblr! (uswnt-among-other-things) But don't be afraid to just dump your thoughts in the comment section because replying and reading your comments has become one of my favorite things.
> 
> Since i don't have the next update written, all and any requests are very appreciated and will be considered! However, I do have a general idea that these two will be seeing each other very soon :). Until next time!


	24. The sky and you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily watches from the stands

Emily nervously tapped her leg as she stared out the window of her sister’s car. They had about twenty more minutes of driving until they reached the stadium. Emma was wearing Emily’s jersey, cautiously glancing over at her twin every few seconds before returning her focus back to the road. The radio was about to start playing another overplayed pop song when Emma switched it off.

“Hey, I was listening to that.” Emily tried to turn the radio back on, but Emma blocked her hand.

“You’ve heard that song a thousand times. Not hearing it one time won’t hurt you.” Emily shrugged, settling further into her seat. Emma sighed. “There’s still time.” She mumbled.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I can turn the car around right now and we don’t have to do this.” They sat at a red light. Emma turned to her sister, who was still looking at her with confused eyes.

“Em, I want to do this.” She said firmly. Emma worried her bottom lip.

“Okay, well you not saying a single word since we got in the car and me not seeing you for most of the day says otherwise.” Emma’s voice stayed calm with her eyes occasionally looking back at the light to see if it had changed. Emily frowned slightly. Her sister wasn’t wrong.

When she woke up that morning still wrapped in Kelley’s hoodie, she’d thrown herself out of bed and went for a run. She busied herself anywhere that wasn’t her own house before Emily finally forced her feet back home. She was in the car with her sister moments later, completely distracted by the cycle of thoughts that spread through her head. Most of them were about Kelley. But there was still a sense of nervousness that settled in her stomach as they got closer to the stadium.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now.” Emily tried to keep it short as her sister slowly inched forward with the light turning green.

Emma tapped her thumbs against the wheel. “You can talk to me. When did we stop doing that?”

Emily looked at her sister. Every single one of her earliest memories was with her until they both left for college, separating for the first time in their lives. Somewhere along the way they became independent individuals. Emily always thought she was the type that hated being alone, hating how it made her feel like she needed to fill the empty space, but here she was, seemingly overlooking the one person who has been by her side since the beginning. “I’ve missed you.” She started. The corner of Emma’s mouth tilted up.

“And?” She pushed.

“And I haven’t been honest about why going to this game means so much to me. I haven’t been fair to you.” Emma was fully smiling now.

“And?” She asked again, causing Emily to match her grin.

“And this is bigger than some stupid injury or everything that has happened. I’m going to this game because I want to spend time with you. But I’m also going because I needed to find a new perspective. I need to look at the game differently. I need to support the people that have supported me. I need to take a step back and find the joy in the one thing that used to always bring a smile to my face. And I never thanked you for making it a possibility.” One of Emma’s hands dropped from the wheel to squeeze Emily’s.

“No need to thank me. I’m happy to do this with you.” She looked over to give a supporting smile, noticing how Emily had visibly relaxed. Since they were on the topic of sharing, Emma decided to push for one more little detail. “So when did you acquire a Stanford hoodie?” Emily froze, immediately stuttering over her words as she tried to explain.

“When did you… I don’t…” Emma chuckled, rolling her eyes.

“I came into your room this morning to wake you up for breakfast.” She clarified. “Never thought I’d see you betray Virginia. Must be someone special.” Emma teased, nudging Emily with her elbow. Her sister was blushing, trying to sink back into her seat and push away Emma’s arm.

“I can explain.” Emily mumbled.

Emma was grinning. “Oh before you do, can I at least try and guess?” Emily’s mouth hung slightly open.

“Uh, sure?”

“Okay, well you didn’t have that hoodie before this past camp if I’m not mistaken. I’ve never seen it until this morning. I also saw you finally unpacked your suitcases, so it must have come from the past few weeks. Unless you went on a random Stanford tour while you were in California, I’m going to assume you got it from someone on your team.” Emily’s eyes started to widen at how much thought her sister had put into this. “Out of the three Stanford alums, Tierna and Press are very much taken.” Emma said it simply as if it was a well-known fact. Emily felt every muscle in her body tense as she waited for her next words. “If I’m not mistaken, I’d say that hoodie belongs to Kelley. And I don’t want to speculate, but based on the fact that you only seemed to smile when she texted you the first few days when we got home, is it safe to say there’s something going on between you two?” Emma finished her sentence just as she found a parking space at the stadium. Fans were already pouring in. Emma turned to Emily, waiting patiently for a response.

Emily was still blushing and her mouth still hung open as if she was incapable of coming up with a response. “How did you figure all that out from just a hoodie?” Was all she was able to mumble. Emma rolled her eyes.

“It’s very obvious if you’re looking for the right things. So you and Kelley?” She asked once again. Emily slouched.

“It’s complicated.” Emily breathed in a little, trying to figure out how she could put into words the confusing mess that was her and Kelley. “I think we’re holding off on things. Until I'm better. We’re going to figure it out when it’s the right time.” Emma nodded.

“When do you think will be the right time?” Emily let out a half-hearted laugh.

“And that’s the complicated part. I’m not really sure how I’ll know when that time comes.” Emma shrugged, giving her sister a supporting smile.

“You’ll know. Whether you’re ready for it or not, that’s a mystery. Just know I’m rooting for you two.” Emily reached over the center console to hug her sister. “You ready?” Emma asked as she pulled away. Her eyes flicked to the stadium. Emily nodded, letting a small smile slip to her lips.

Their seats were near the centerline, just in between the two team benches, just high enough to get a complete view of the field. Even though her sister had dawned her jersey, Emily had decided to support the team with just a simple hat, wanting to remain subtle with her appearance. Music blared over the speakers as fans filled every seat. Emily felt her heart skip when the music quieted and the teams began their walkouts.

Emily’s eyes immediately found Kelley. They hadn’t spoken since Kelley had called that one afternoon. Being in the same area as her, even if it was somewhat separate, made Emily feel like all those other time’s she’d been with her. Where it was just the two of them, laughing, smiling, comforting. And Emily wanted more than anything to be closer, but for now, this was good enough.

With the team lined up and the anthem about to play, Emily took one last glance at Kelley, swearing she saw her scan the sky with a faint smile before closing her eyes as the start of the anthem came on over the speakers. When they finally found their seats again, Emma rested her head on Emily’s shoulder. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.” She said just loud enough over the deafening cheers of the crowd. Emily tilted her head so it touched her sister’s.

“Thanks for bringing me.”

Right when the first whistle blew, both teams set off with the French opponents making a point to play to their level by completing passes, tackles, and even letting a few shots fly. The game felt like their World Cup match all over again. Except the U.S. didn’t get an early goal, and they ended up going into the second half scoreless. But Emily couldn’t stop smiling. She jumped to her feet like everyone else when Christen almost scored. She cheered when Tobin dribbled through most of the defense or when Becky slid in at just the right moment. She yelled when the ref made a poor call. She found herself getting caught up with the atmosphere and slowly finding the pure enjoyment of the game she loved. And every once in a while her eyes would wander up to the sky, watching it change colors as the sun began to set.

“Lindsey is subbing in!” Emma grabbed Emily’s forearm, smiling as Lindsey sprinted out to the midfield before the ref blew their whistle, signaling the start of the second half. It was only twenty minutes later when Lindsey scored from outside of the eighteen. Emily and Emma shot to their feet, screaming until their throats hurt. And that’s when Lindsey ran to one of the camera’s flashing a piece of tape on her wrist. Emily looked at the giant screen that was visible to every eye in the stadium and saw that the tape had the number 14 written on it with the letter ‘E’. Emma threw an arm around Emily, smiling as Lindsey pointed to Emily’s national team number in celebration as a reminder that she was still very much a part of their team.

The final whistle blew, ending in the single goal win. Emma turned to her sister who was staring out onto the field with pride and happiness as the team waved and clapped in appreciation. “Do you want to go talk to them?” Emma asked. Emily chuckled and shook her head.

“I’m going to let them celebrate. This win is theirs. I don't want to take away from that.” Emma nodded, pulling Emily into another hug as they clapped amongst the thousands of fans.

They made their way out of the stadium as the team had started signing autographs. They drove home with the radio on, loudly singing the overplayed pop music, letting the night slowly come to an end.

When Emily had finally made it back to her room, practically collapsing onto her bed, she was already on the verge of letting sleep slip over her, when she heard her phone start to ring. She glanced at the time and wondered who was calling her this late. A warm feeling settled in her heart when she saw the name that had popped up on her phone.

“Hey, Kelley.” Emily laid on her bed, staring up at her ceiling with a smile forming over her lips.

“The sunset was orange and red with a little bit of pink mixed in with the clouds. You would have loved it.” This call was different than the last one. There was no background noise, no side conversation, just Kelley.

“I did. Although I would say the colors were a little different than what you remembered.” Emily said slyly. There was a pause from Kelley.

“You came? Why didn’t you say hi?” Kelley asked. Emily sighed, wishing she had found her after the game, but knowing she’d made the right decision. She didn’t go to the game just to see Kelley and as much as she wanted to wrap her arms around her and listen to Kelley talk not through a phone but in person, Emily was doing her best to wait like they’d planned, even if every muscle in her body wanted anything else.

“I didn’t want to make your win about me. I didn’t want to bother you guys.” Emily said quietly.

“Em, you’re the last person I’d consider a bother. I wouldn’t have minded seeing you.” Kelley said before breathing in and sighing. “I really miss you. I don’t like not having you around next to me.” Emily’s stomach twisted.

“I thought we agreed on waiting.” Her voice felt small in her empty bedroom.

Kelley laughed softly. “Well, turns out that actually waiting is a lot harder than just saying it.” Emily smiled at that, knowing it was very true.

“I know.” She let out a shaky breath. “This is going to take time though. We have to give it time.” Emily wondered if Kelley would be back in Atlanta the next morning. The closing distance between them almost seemed like an unfair temptation. It would have been easier to wait if they were separated by states and the need to buy a plane ticket, not just a a couple of miles that could easily be overcome by driving.

“I know.” Kelley whispered. For a few seconds, it was quiet with just the hum of static coming from their phones. “Tell me about the sunset. You had a better view.” Kelley’s tone changed back to its cheerful sound.

Emily smirked, not minding the change in conversation. “Well, it was purple and pink. Not red. And when Lindsey scored, navy blue had started to take over for the pink. And then it was just the dark sky and stadium lights.”

“Sounds like you had your eyes on the sky for most of the night.” Emily could hear the laugh in Kelley’s voice.

She smiled to herself as she thought of Kelley looking up right before the anthem. “The sky and you.” Emily let her heart pick up pace while she imagined the moment when they’d finally see each other again, even letting herself hope it came a lot sooner than they’d planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short little chapter update with some fluff to prepare you for the next chapter. I'm really excited about it so I hope you'll forgive me for updating slightly late with another filler chapter. I don't know if you all can tell, but this fic is winding down to an ending! I'm writing frantically, hoping that i give you guys everything you want and more! 
> 
> Your comments on the last chapter helped me organize my thoughts for how I want to finish this out so please don't be afraid to keep sending your ideas or requests because I love hearing from you all! You can also reach me at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Anyways, I thought this was going to be a lot longer of a chapter, but I wanted to still give you guys an update that was somewhat on time rather than leave you all hanging if i tried to combine two chapters for length. I'll try and make up for it by letting you guys know that the big moment where they finally see each other again may or may not be coming next. Hope you all enjoyed and I'll see you guys then!


	25. Trust me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily gets a surprise visitor.

The days following the game were devoid of anything remotely exciting. Emily started to feel the pull of the dulling routine she’d slipped into since arriving in Georgia. It seemed to beg her to resume where she’d left it after one night of enjoyment. But November had finally brought the worst of its weather, making the possibility of her escaping her house, or going outside to run, close to none. So, Emily let her herself be confined to the walls of her home where she let her parents worry over her. Yet, one of the best aspects of being forced to stay home was that she began to spend more time with Emma in what felt like forever.

Emily’s phone had become somewhat radio silent, with only the occasional texts from Lindsey, Mal, Sam, and Rose coming in from time to time. And although Emily appreciated every single one of them, she disliked the way her heart jumped whenever her phone buzzed, only for her hope to dissipate when she didn’t see the name of the one person she wanted to talk to. Unlike her twin, Emma’s phone always seemed to be on her. Text after text flew in and with how much time Emily had been spending with her, it became increasingly noticeable.

“When did you get so popular?” Emily said casually during dinner. Emma seemed to be rapidly sending texts in three different conversations at once. Emily tried to get a peek at the names, but her sister immediately hid her phone away.

“Don’t be so nosy!” She chided. Emily rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, what has you so wrapped up in your phone lately. I swear we can’t do anything without a thousand texts coming through.” Emily whined. As if on cue, Emma’s phone buzzed again. She winced as Emily eyed her suspiciously, but Emma kept her mouth shut. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me.” Emily made her way to the living room couch, flipping on the TV. Emma was a few steps behind her, throwing herself down next to Emily.

“I’m sorry. I won’t be on it so much. I was just trying to figure out some plans for tomorrow.” Emily raised an eyebrow at how vague her sister was being. It was also an added factor that it was their birthday tomorrow.

“Do you have friends coming to celebrate the big 26?” She asked casually, trying to hide how she had assumed they would be doing something together like they used to before their lives diverged from one another.

“Yeah, something like that.” She frowned for a moment, realizing how Emily’s demeanor had shifted. “You should come!” Emma added in, but Emily felt like it was almost an afterthought.

“No that’s okay. We can celebrate together before or after your plans. Don’t worry about it.” Emily slipped on a smile that seemed to ease her sister’s nerves. Although she was still curious as to why simple birthday plans would be something Emma would need to hide, Emily let it go. She settled further into the couch, handing the remote to Emma. “Pick something.”

Emma scrolled through the channels until she found one that was playing an old sitcom's reruns back to back. The sun had already set, leaving their house quiet and dark with nothing else but the light of the TV breaking through. The two of them settled close to each other, laughing at the corny jokes that weren’t that funny, but the subtle chuckles seemed appropriate. The hours drifted by and soon Emily was the only one awake with Emma quietly snoring next to her. She got up quietly to lay a blanket over her sister before settling back onto the couch and turning her eyes back to another episode.

Emily started to feel her eyes pull with tiredness, almost giving in until she heard a faint knock at the front door. Emily straightened slightly, thinking she’d imagined it because _who would be knocking on their door this late at night?_ She redirected her focus back to the TV, assuming there hadn’t actually been a knock. Then it came again, a little louder. Emily cautiously got up from the couch and made her way to the front door. She cracked the door and peeked outside. Her heart seemed to drop to her stomach as she opened the door all the way, suddenly feeling like every nerve had caught fire.

“Uh, Kelley? What a nice surprise?” Emily wrapped her arms around herself as she stepped outside on the porch, closing the door behind her. It was a cold night and all Emily had to wear were some grey sweats and a Virginia t-shirt. But here Kelley was in just a t-shirt and athletic shorts, pacing like she couldn’t keep herself still. She turned to Emily with a pained smile

“Yes.” She nodded to herself. “Surprise!” Kelley said a little shakily as if that explained why she was on Emily’s front porch at 11 pm.

“What are you doing here?” Emily asked carefully. Sure, she was happy to see her. Everything in Emily wanted to throw her arms around her and experience what it felt like to kiss her again. But this seemed random, unpredictable, daunting.

Kelley started laughing, finally stilling her movement and looking at Emily straight on. “You know it’s the funniest thing. I was driving home after getting some things I needed at the store and this song came on the radio. And it was so startling that I actually had to pull my car over from the road because I wasn’t expecting to be jumped back in time like that.” Emily looked at her with confusion and worry. Kelley was rambling and Sonnett started to think something had happened.

“Kelley you’re not making any sense.” She said quietly.

Kelley sucked in an unsteady breath. “ _Coming Home_. The song that came on the radio. It was the song you played for me in Seattle. And then suddenly I was crying on the side of some random road because I was listening to it for the first time since and it reminded me of you. That stupid fucking song. I didn’t even realize I’d made a wrong turn home until I saw the sign that said your hometown was only a couple miles away. So there. Surprise!” Kelley’s eyes were watering and Emily just stood still, almost shell-shocked at the string of words Kelley had just put together. Her heart was beating fast, mimicking every time she was ever near Kelley. It always felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. This was no exception.

Deciding to not focus on what Kelley had just said, but rather on the clothes she was wearing, which was definitely not enough for the freezing temperature, Emily started to wonder how Kelley wasn’t cold. “Kelley, it’s late. Do you want to come inside? Maybe warm up a bit?” Emily was already rubbing her arms, trying to bring back some warmth to them. Kelley’s nose was just a tad red, showing that maybe her lack of winter clothing was starting to get to her.

Kelley tilted her head a little as if Emily inviting her into her childhood home was a silly idea. She found herself shaking her head. That’s not why she came here tonight. “Come with me. Just for a little bit.” Kelley sensed Emily’s hesitation as she glanced back to her front door. Kelley could faintly see the glow of a TV from the front window. She wondered if Emily was the only one awake. When Emily turned back to her, all Kelley could do was let out one last appeal. “Please.” She breathed out.

Emily worried her bottom lip as she considered the offer. “Just for a little bit?” She asked with suspicion and curiosity because where would they be going this late? Kelley gave an innocent nod. Emily sighed. She’d always say yes to Kelley, even with everything telling her not to. “Okay.” She said quietly. “Just give me a few seconds to tell Emma where I’ll be so she doesn’t worry. She’s been doing a lot of that lately.” Emily gave off a soft laugh, but she turned before she could see the pang of guilt flash across Kelley’s face.

Emily slipped back inside, welcoming the warmth that melted away the cold feeling that had started to spread from her fingers. Again, she wondered how Kelley wasn’t freezing outside. Emily suspected she just was hiding it. Sonnett tiptoed over to her twin who was promptly passed out on the couch just as she’d left her. She placed a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her awake. Emma blinked a few times before looking up at Emily with sleepy eyes.

“You heading to bed?” She asked before yawning. Emma started to get up, gathering the blanket that Emily had tossed on her earlier.

Emily shook her head. “I actually got a surprise visitor.” Emma tilted her head with curiosity.

“Do I want to know who it is?” She asked playfully. Emily let out a nervous laugh.

“Kelley.” Emma’s eyes widened slightly, but her grin remained steady.

“Oh. Well, carry on then. Do you know when you’ll be back?” Emily rolled her eyes at the playful tone in her twin’s voice.

“I’m not sure. She’s acting kind of strange. Would you mind keeping your phone on in case I need rescuing?” Emma let out a low chuckle.

“Anything for you. Although, I doubt you’ll need to send a rescue text.” Before Emily could question what she meant, her twin shuffled off to her room, yawning one more time before whispering a good night. “Have fun!” She said finally.

Emily let out a deep breath before quickly going to her room to grab Kelley’s Stanford hoodie, not knowing when she’d get another chance to return it. She grabbed a hoodie for herself, pulling it over her t-shirt and slipping on some shoes. She found Kelley pacing her porch again. Her eyes snapped back to Emily when she closed the front door with a careful click. Emily offered Kelley’s favorite hoodie back to her, which she gladly took and pulled on with a soft smile resting on her lips.

“Where are you taking me this late?” Emily asked with a light smile. Kelley was fidgeting with nervous tension as she outstretched her hand.

“Trust me?” Emily eyed her suspiciously before slowly placing her own hand in Kelley’s, letting her drag her back to the car that was still running in Emily’s driveway. Emily settled into the passenger seat. She barely had time to put on her seatbelt before Kelley had started to back out of the driveway and speed down the quiet neighborhood roads.

“In a rush are we?” Emily asked with a nervous laugh, gripping onto the side of the door as Kelley took a sharp turn. Kelley only smiled apologetically, making a point to slow down. They were met with uncomfortable silence until Kelley fumbled with the radio, letting soft music fill the air. Emily kept her eyes out the window, following the skyline that was barely visible in the night. Buildings she’d pass every day as a child flew by as Kelley picked up speed again.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Emily asked once again after a few more minutes of driving had passed. Kelley shook her head.

“I thought you trusted me.” She said slyly. Emily chuckled, realizing how much she’d missed being next to Kelley.

“Just curious.” She said softly. Kelley’s thumbs tapped the wheel as she pulled into an area that Emily recognized.

When Kelley had shown up at her doorstep, Emily had expected maybe a short talk and that’d be that. When she’d agreed on going with Kelley to whatever destination she had planned, Emily maybe expected somewhere quiet, maybe even an empty parking lot to continue the conversation they’d started back at her house. What she had not been expecting was for Kelley to pull up to a Waffle House and park the car before proceeding to get out.

“Are you sure this is where you wanted to go?” Emily asked with a laugh. This whole situation was rather comical and Kelley nodding with serious intent as a response only made Emily laugh more.

Kelley motioned for Emily to get out of her car. “Come on. We don’t have all night.” Kelley was already heading inside.

Emily quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped in line with Kelley, catching the door she’d swung open as the smell of waffles greeted them. Kelley wasted no time finding a table and scanning the menu. Emily sat across from her not even bothering to glance at the menu. Kelley seemed to notice.

“Order something. I’ll pay.” She gestured to the menu. The corner of Emily’s mouth tilted upwards.

“I always get the same thing.” She said justifying her reasoning for not looking at the menu. This was her favorite place after all and she had a sneaking suspicion that Kelley knew that.

Emily could only see Kelley’s eyes as she held the menu up to read through it. When the waiter came over to ask what they wanted to eat. Emily instinctively gave her order. Kelley set aside her menu. “I’ll have what she’s having.” Emily couldn’t help but laugh. She’d spent a decent period of time reading through everything on the menu, only to get the same thing Emily was ordering. When Kelley saw Emily’s comical grin, she shrugged her shoulders. “What?” She asked innocently. “I’m dining with a regular that knows the menu better than anyone.”

Emily only shook her head with a smile. They waited in silence for their food to come. Emily played with the napkin holder, sneaking a few glances at Kelley who was carefully stacking the creamers into a pyramid.

Emily could almost breathe out a sigh of relief when their food finally came, breaking the uncomfortable tension. But Kelley didn’t use the interruption to spark any more conversation. She picked up her fork and started eating. Emily looked at her with admiration and curiosity. She didn’t touch her food. Emily wasn’t hungry, and she started to feel guilty for ordering anything at all since Kelley was paying.

After Kelley had finished her hash browns and started to move to the actual waffles, Emily decided she couldn’t take the awkward silence anymore.

“What’re we doing?” She asked quietly, hating how her voice seemed to be plagued with sadness.

“Having dinner.” Kelley said simply, biting into another piece of her waffle. Emily rolled her eyes, trying to not let her emotions spill over.

“No, Kell. Seriously. What are we doing?” Emily ran her hands through her hair, keeping her eyes steady on Kelley who’d set down her utensils. “And don’t make this some joke about defining the relationship because I don’t even know where we’re at with each other.” Emily said firmly. Kelley nodded, letting out a low sigh.

“Okay.” Her voice was hushed. “Do you want to talk about everything?”

“Of course I want to talk about it.” Emily couldn’t help but sound desperate. “I want to know what you were thinking in Seattle, in California, why you showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. I want to know if these past few months have been just as confusing for you as they have been for me. I want to know that after everything you’re still my friend. Kelley…” Emily’s voice broke. “I want to know if you’ve forgiven her.” She suddenly became very quiet. “I want to know everything because I can’t continue whatever this is if it means losing you as a friend.” Emily brushed her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweatshirt to catch the few tears that had slipped.

Kelley let out a shaky breath. “Okay.” She whispered. “Okay.” She repeated before she swallowed, catching Emily’s eyes, letting everything slowly slip out.

“In Seattle, I was thinking about you. How sad you looked. How defeated you looked. How all I wanted in the world was to be the one thing to make you smile. I thought about your smile for the longest time until I saw it. Like really saw it. And then we were at the record store and I don’t know why I made things personal but maybe it’s because when I’m with you, I don’t feel like I need to hide parts about myself. When I’m with you, it feels like I’m home and all I want to do is stay right there with you.” Kelley’s eyes were watering now.

“I was just as surprised to see my ex as you were. I promise. And when you asked me that night if I forgave her, I couldn’t give you an answer because I was scared. Being with her was the safe option. But the possibility of being with you sets my whole world on fire. And then in California, things were so different and I couldn’t keep my head on straight because all I could think about was making sure you were okay. And I know you don’t need a babysitter, but my heart genuinely broke when I saw you standing alone in the rain back in Seattle. I never wanted to see you feel that way again. Then when we fought, I just…” Kelley let out a sigh. “I hadn’t spent any time with you and the idea of you being mad at me made me feel like I was going crazy. I pushed, not realizing you were trying to protect yourself until I pushed too far and let my feelings get in the way. But I wouldn’t take any of it back because kissing you was the one thing I’d dreamed about for months.”

Emily’s heart pounded in her chest. She wondered if it was loud enough for Kelley to hear. Kelley let out another shaky breath, ignoring the tears that were starting to fall. “And to answer your question, I have forgiven her. But we’re not getting back together and I should have given you this answer back in Seattle.” Kelley’s hands slowly slid across the table separating them, reaching for Emily’s hands. Their fingertips brushed, easing every bit of tension in Kelley’s body. “Em, I showed up on your front porch because I needed to tell you that I will always be your friend and I am just as scared as you about what being together could mean. But the one thing that I have been completely and one hundred percent sure of is my feelings for you.”

Emily tilted her head a little, feeling selfish. “Which is?”

Kelley smirked. “I want to be with you. I want to wake up by your side every morning. I want to buy your coffee every day. I want to listen to music that reminds me of you. I want to go to the beach and teach you how to surf. I want to bring you home to my family. I want to hold your hand and I want to kiss you. I want you.”

“Yeah?” Emily breathed out.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” Kelley said confidently. Emily let a smile spread to her lips as her eyes traveled down to their hands that were starting to intertwine. But, she wasn’t sure why she was still crying.

Emily wiped away her tears, hating how her mind started to pull back and rest on the unsaid promise between them. “These past few months have been some of the worst in my life.” She started. “And I feel terrible for saying that because I’m so grateful for everything that’s happened to me. With the World Cup and the NWSL championship, I could distract myself from the fact that you weren’t mine and that things weren't okay. You were never mine even though I’d see you every day and I would catch myself thinking about what if. What if I could dance with you in a record store and what if I could watch the sunset with you and what if I could wake up in your arms? And then when everything started to fall apart, the what if became now what? And I want nothing more than to give in and be with you, but Kelley…” Emily’s breathing hitched, knowing she’d regret her next words. “What happened to waiting? I can’t promise you happiness when worrying about me is the thing keeping us together. You don’t deserve that.” Kelley shook her head.

“You don’t get it, Em.” Emily looked at her confused. “I told you I could wait. That I could wait until things got better. But then I remembered something someone had told me. It was about being with someone and how it should feel unpredictable. I realized that I want you at your worst just as much as I want you at your best. I want you and I know I’m being selfish, but that’s how I feel. I can’t promise it will be sunshine and rainbows, but I can promise that I want to make this work. I want to be there. So…” Kelley sucked in one more breath, finally saying the words she’d wished she’d said weeks ago. “You and me? What do you say?”

Emily was crying again, but she was smiling and laughing at the hopeful tone in Kelley’s voice. “Kelley O’Hara, are you asking me to be your girlfriend in a Waffle House?” Kelley laughed at that.

“I think it’s pretty fitting. So, do you want to do this?” Emily bit her bottom lip, fighting back the smile that spread to her eyes.

“Ask me one more time.” She said sarcastically. Kelley chuckled, rolling her eyes.

“Could you stop procrastination and give me an answer before I say more stupid things in this Waffle House?” Emily’s thumb brushed over the back of Kelley’s hand.

“You didn’t say anything stupid.” Their eyes met each other. “But it would be stupid of me not to say yes.” The words had barely left Emily’s mouth before Kelley fully grabbed her hand and pulled herself across the table so she could kiss her. Emily smiled against Kelley’s mouth, letting herself get lost in the simple contact that tasted salty at first with just the tiniest bit of sweetness, only making Emily want to pull her closer.

Kelley leaned back just slightly. “Come back to my apartment with me.” She breathed out. Emily only nodded, leaning in once more to let their lips brush.

They got their dinners placed into to-go boxes before getting back into Kelley’s car. Emily couldn’t stop smiling as she let her hand rest in Kelley’s across the middle console, as they sang songs to each other during the drive, as they stole kisses every chance they got.

Kelley had her hand gently laced with Emily’s as they made their way into her apartment. The lights were off, but the soft light from the city streamed in through the windows, illuminating the place just enough. Kelley dropped her keys on a table, immediately pulling Emily close to her. Emily had a lazy grin on her face when her hands slid around Kelley’s waste as if she’d done it a hundred times before. Kelley tilted her head, watching the way the moon and city lights seemed to make Emily’s eyes bluer.

Emily only smiled more, leaning in and closing the distance just as she had in California. But this kiss was entirely different from that one she’d shared with Kelley. That one was prompted by misplaced passion. It was a heat of the moment kiss. A somewhat accidental contact.

This one was well thought out. Methodical. Planned. This time the passion was directed and it was full of intent. Kelley’s hands found Emily’s waste as she deepened the kiss, pulling her back towards her room. They shared a laugh, as they stumbled in each other’s arms. Emily leaned back momentarily, taking in Kelley. After everything had felt like it was going wrong, Kelley somehow slipped in and finally letting her heart lead instead of her head, Emily kissed her again.

Kelley’s hands studied Emily’s body, slowly tracing every muscle beneath the fabric of Emily’s clothes. Emily leaned in with intent, finding the hem of Kelley’s t-shirt. Her fingertips played against her skin until Kelley pulled back, slightly out of breath. “Stop teasing.” She said softly. Emily was taken aback by the statement, but then mischief played at her lips and suddenly Kelley was without a shirt.

They were kissing again, shuffling around Kelley’s room as Emily slipped out of her own shirt. Kelley effortlessly slid her arms around Emily, slowly bringing her down onto her bed. Kelley’s hand was gently placed on Emily’s stomach while the other was propping her above. Emily craned her neck upwards, trying to search every inch of Kelley’s lips. They slid up the bed and Emily’s breath hitched as Kelley’s hand slid from her stomach to the waistband of her shorts. Kelley briefly pulled back. “You okay?” She asked quietly.

Emily nodded before leaning in again. “Kiss me.” She whispered. Kelley smiled, meeting her lips again, settling into the familiarity. Emily’s hands traveled back to Kelley’s waste, letting her thumbs stroke her hipbones. Kelley felt like her skin was on fire whenever it brushed against Emily’s. She remembered when her skin had felt ice-cold back in Seattle. This was entirely different. Emily’s body was solid and warm against her touch and it only made her lean in harder.

Kelley followed Emily’s jawline with her lips, making her way down her throat, then her chest, then her stomach. Emily’s lips parted with Kelley’s name escaping.

Within moments, Emily’s body was settled above Kelley’s melting as she traced Kelley’s lips before she caught her bottom lip between her teeth, gently teasing, before pulling up. Kelley tried to follow with mischief in her eyes and Emily leaned back with just the right pace for Kelley to miss her lips. “Slow down.” Emily whispered lowly. “I’m not going anywhere.” She lowered herself back down to Kelley, letting their lips briefly touch before she made her way to her neck. Kelley’s breathing started to quicken, and it was all Emily could do to trace every inch of her body, pausing at the places where Kelley breathed in sharply, making every touch meaningful as Emily let herself do what she’d wanted to since the moment their lips first met.

~~~

Emily’s head rested on Kelley’s shoulder as they watched the city lights dance across the ceiling. There was nothing else between them except the covers of Kelley’s bed, but everything felt warm and comfortable. Emily’s thumb brushed over Kelley’s collarbone while Kelley listened to Emily breathe, letting her heartbeat match the rhythm. After a few more moments, Kelley suddenly shifted.

Emily peered over. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“What time is it?” Kelley asked with a little hint of urgency. Emily let out a laugh, before finding her phone, finding the question a little out of place.

“It’s well past midnight.” She breathed out, settling back against Kelley. Kelley seemed to relax, gently adjusting so she could kiss the top of Emily’s head before she whispered into the open space.

“Happy Birthday, Em.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First! Let me apologize for updating slightly late. i wrote this in one sitting and kept messing with it before finally forcing myself to just go for it. Second, this is being updated VERY early in the morning, so grammar might be very rough. Third, there's about two more chapters left but I hope you guys enjoyed this one and thank you from the bottom of my heart for assisting me along the way. It means the world to see all of your comments and love on this work and it's crazy that it's almost coming to an end.
> 
> Please leave me your thoughts in the comments! I love hearing from you all. You can also reach me at my tumblr if you're feeling up to it: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> Again, thank you so so much for all your kind words and for sticking around up to this point. I'm still working on an ending, but I hope I can make every one of you happy with what i come up with. As always, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you at the next one.


	26. This is perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily celebrates her birthday

Kelley woke to sunlight streaming in from the window. She blinked a few times, letting the sleepiness slowly fade. And that’s when she noticed she was alone. Kelley stretched out her arms, feeling for where Emily should have been, but she was only met with cold covers. She straightened up scanning the room. Her panic settled when she saw Emily’s Virginia t-shirt still crumbled on the floor. Last night hadn’t been a dream.

Kelley pulled on the Virginia t-shirt, checking her phone to see if Emily had left any sign of where she’d gone. As if on cue, Kelley heard the rattling of keys and the unlocking of her front door. She stayed in bed, bringing her knees up to her chin when Emily walked in holding two coffees.

“Good morning.” Emily said with a lazy smile as she gently set down the two coffees and leaned in to kiss Kelley. Emily smiled against Kelley's lips, before pulling back and taking in how beautiful she looked in the morning. She also grinned a little at the t-shirt that was hanging loosely on her shoulders. It was fitting since Emily had pulled on Kelley’s Stanford hoodie once again for her coffee outing this morning. Kelley pressed her lips into a smile, gladly taking the coffee cup in her hands and sipping on it slowly, letting it slowly wake her up.

“I’ll be right back.” Emily said before slipping out of the room. Kelley heard what sounded like her microwave and moments later, Emily returned with warmed plates of their leftovers from Waffle House the night before. Kelley couldn't help but go in for another kiss as Emily slid back into bed next to her.

“Shouldn’t I be the one treating you today? It’s your birthday after all.” Kelley mumbled against Emily’s lips. Emily shook her head with a smile.

“This is perfect.” They sat on Kelley’s bed, sipping their coffee and eating waffles as the sun rose higher, signaling the start to another day.

After finishing their breakfast, they settled against each other, still trying to finish off their coffees. Kelley leaned her head on Emily’s shoulder, smiling at the red fabric that flashed back at her. She took part of the sleeve in between her fingers before they traveled down to Emily’s hand.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked quietly as her fingers gently weaved through Emily’s, tracing every inch, memorizing their touch. Emily smiled softly when their hands rested naturally against each other, admiring how easily they fit together.

“You.” She breathed out. “Always you.” Kelley turned her head up to Emily, welcoming in the soft taste of her lips that tasted like coffee grounds and syrup.

Kelley’s eyes settled back onto her sweatshirt with a laugh. Emily followed her gaze. “You wear this like it’s yours now.” She said slyly. Emily chuckled, pulling at the hood, melting into its warmth.

“Well, you’re mine, so by default, it is.” Emily said with a grin. Kelley sat up.

“Is that so?” Kelley asked with a cheerful tone. Emily nodded with the same smile. “And here I thought you’d left me this morning.” Emily laughed, rolling her eyes.

“I was trying to get back before you woke up.” She whined. Kelley tilted her head with a smirk, bringing her coffee back up to her lips.

“Alright, birthday girl, what do you have planned for today?” Emily pretended to consider the question. With Emma doing whatever she had planned, Emily had nothing scheduled.

“What do you have in mind?” She asked Kelley, who only smiled behind her coffee cup.

“Spend the day with me?” Kelley asked innocently. Emily nodded with a smirk, leaning in and stealing a kiss before getting out of bed.

“I promise to not make wearing your clothes a habit, but you kidnapped me from my home last night and I’m without anything to wear.” Kelley laughed and gestured to where her closet was.

“I like it when you wear my clothes." She said quietly, letting her eyes follow Emily as she made her way across the room. "Pick whatever you like, just wear something a little nice.” Kelley said as she pulled herself out of bed. Emily eyed her suspiciously.

“Do you have something planned that would require me to dress nice?” Emily asked. Kelley looked up from where she was fixing the covers on her bed.

“Trust me?” Kelley said playfully. Emily smiled at the familiarity of her words, nodding subtly.

They finished off their coffees before Emily let Kelley guide her throughout the city. They passed their time going in and out of shops and buying things they didn’t need and just enjoying each other’s company as the day slipped away. It felt different than any other time they’d spent time together. Emily found herself smiling every chance she got, casually holding Kelley’s hand, and sneaking a kiss from time to time as she wrapped her arms around Kelley, loving every time she made her laugh. She felt relaxed and comfortable, and Emily even let herself admit that she felt happy. She’d missed that feeling. Kelley dragged Emily to a park where they walked through the trees as the sun began to dip behind the tall buildings. Emily leaned against Kelley as she watched their feet crunch the leaves that had littered the walkway.

“Thank you for today.” She said, looping her hand through Kelley’s. Kelley only smiled, turning towards Emily's warmth as they walked through the park before finding a bench to soak in the last bits of sunlight. They settled against each other, turning their heads to the sky, finally watching a sunset next to one another. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” Emily mumbled. Kelley kept her eyes towards to sky, watching the colors change as the clouds drifted.

“Anywhere with you is where I want to be.” Kelley whispered. They stayed like that, close to each other, finding comfort in one another’s body heat and touch. The moment was interrupted by the soft ring from Kelley’s phone. She was careful to not let Emily shift away, easily sliding out her phone and reading a text. A small smile slipped onto her lips and Emily looked at her with curiosity.

“Who is it?” She asked casually. Kelley placed her phone back in her pocket, suddenly dawning a playful grin.

"Just my family wondering where I’ve disappeared to these past few days.” Kelley’s voice was calm even though her heart seemed to pick up speed with new excitement. Emily suspected there was something more, but she got distracted by Kelley quickly meeting her lips, smiling as Kelley whispered against her mouth. “The night is still young and I’m taking you to dinner.” Emily raised an eyebrow, grinning at Kelley’s excitement over their final plans for the day.

“Lead the way.” Kelley was practically skipping as they made their way through the streets. Emily followed with quiet amusement, wondering what had caused her to get this sudden burst of energy.

After a few more minutes of walking, Kelley stopped in front of a restaurant that looked way out of Emily’s affordability range. She let out a nervous laugh. “Kell, you said to dress somewhat nice. This place looks like I should be wearing something very fancy.” Kelley rolled her eyes.

“Oh please. You’re perfect.” She motioned for Sonnett to go inside first, following directly behind her and gently guiding her movements with her hand subtly placed on the small of her back. Emily gave Kelley a confused look when they passed by the hostess, heading towards the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t until they rounded a corner that Emily was met with familiar faces and everything clicked into place.

“Surprise!” Her parents, Emma, Rose, Sam, Mal, Lindsey, and some of her college friends were huddled around each other with wide grins. Emily let out a laugh turning to Kelley who only smiled with success before gently pushing her forward to be wrapped in the arms of the small crowd.

Emily went to Emma first, immediately pulling her in for a hug. “Is this what you were hiding yesterday?” Emily asked. Emma chuckled, throwing up guilty hands.

“To be fair, I had a lot of help.” She motioned to Kelley and the others who were already starting conversations. Kelley caught Emily’s eye and gave a small wave. Emma raised an eyebrow. “Safe to say last night went well?” She asked teasingly. Emily blushed, forcing her eyes away from Kelley who was still glancing at her with careful admiration.

“Was that planned too?” Emily asked jokingly.

“Actually, Kelley was only supposed to be here for the dinner, but I think the small change in plans was worth it, seeing how happy you are. Can I ask if you two have figured things out?” Emma was filled with curiosity, but the way that Emily and Kelley had walked in, standing close with the subtlest touch and careful glances, Emma was practically given her answer.

Emily let a smile spread across her lips as memories of last night danced through her head. “Yeah, something like that.” She said vaguely. Emma grinned, knowing what her sister meant and pulled her into another hug before leaving her to the rest of their party. Emily turned back quickly, being sure to grab Emma’s attention for just another moment. “Happy Birthday Emma. This is for you too.” Emma only nodded with a smile, motioning for Emily to finally go greet her friends.

Emily was surrounded by flailing arms that somehow morphed into a large group hug from her national teammates. “I missed you so much. Please don’t ever leave me with these three ever again.” Lindsey muttered only causing Emily to laugh.

“I don’t plan on it.” Emily said, falling back into the familiarity of being with her teammates who had become some of her closest friends. After the initial greetings subsided, they finally organized themselves around the table and ordered food. Emily sat in between Emma and Kelley who had fought for the spot over Lindsey. Lindsey ended up having to settle with sitting across from Emily as Kelley confidently slid into the seat next to her. Lindsey gave the two of them a suspicious glance, knowing something was different. But the sheepish grins spread across both of their faces was more than enough to let Lindsey know that whatever the difference was, it was definitely positive.

The night carried on with drinks and food and before long, a waiter brought out a cake that was set in front of both Emma and Emily who leaned against each other while everyone sang happy birthday. On the count of three, they blew out the candles together, something they hadn’t done since they were little.

After everyone had their fair share of cake and people started to call it a night with early flights the next morning, or the need to get home, the crowd started to shift out of the restaurant. Emily hung near the back, grateful that Kelley matched her stride so they were somewhat separate from the ongoing conversations of their friends and family.

“I can’t believe you helped plan this.” Emily said with an endearing laugh, slyly looping her pinky finger with Kelley’s. They weren’t sure when would be the right time to tell their teammates or their families. As of right now, Emma was the only one who really knew, even though Lindsey’s intuition was leading her towards the same conclusion. Until they found that right time, they’d settle for just being with each other, knowing that everything would work out one way or another.

“I wanted to make today special for you.” Kelley said with a smile, fighting the urge to pull Emily in for a kiss.

“You know you make me the happiest?” Emily’s voice had suddenly gone quiet. Kelley turned towards her slightly, ignoring how much farther ahead everyone else was down the sidewalk.

“I don’t think I can really describe how you make me feel.” Kelley said softly. “But I can confidently say that being with you is the best decision I've ever made.” Emily let out a light laugh, falling into step just a little closer to Kelley. They walked side by side, knowing they’d do it a thousand more times and that there would be days with just the two of them filled with kissing and laughing and memorizing each other's touch, and that every step they took together from this point forward was in the right direction because through everything against them, they still found a way. Kelley shared a smile with her. "I have a good feeling about us."

“Yeah.” Emily breathed out, letting her heart flutter at Kelley's words just like they had all the times before. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An almost ending??? I have an real 'epilogue' planned out, but I'm actually moving back to college today and am not sure when I'll be able to have it ready for you guys. I'm hoping that a couple days will be the latest it goes up because I really want to give you all a true ending. So if you don't see another update tomorrow, you now know that life just got a little busy, but I'm working hard at finishing the final chapter.
> 
> But I can't thank you all enough for putting in the effort to read this work and comment your thoughts. You guys truly are the best and I can't wait to finish this work in the next few days. 
> 
> Also, feel free to come say hi to me over at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things  
> or you can leave your thoughts in the comments!
> 
> I can't believe this is almost over! I'm going to leave you with the promise that I will conclude this work as soon as possible because you guys deserve a great ending. But thank you for sticking around to this point, if i could hug each and every one of you I would! Until then, here's to one more!


	27. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily celebrates.

Many months later…

~~~

Noise. All Emily heard was noise. But it wasn’t unsettling. It had been a while since she’d felt overwhelmed. The noise was loud sure, but it seemed to hum in rhythm with her adrenaline. Emily opened her eyes to shining lights and millions of faces. The lights seemed to sparkle as Emily was pulled out of her fleeting thoughts. She felt a familiar arm settle around her waist. 

“Gold looks good on you.” Emily smiled at Kelley’s words, which were barely loud enough over the thousands of other voices that filled the stadium in Tokyo. Emily turned to Kelley, grinning at the flecks of confetti stuck to her cheek. A matching gold medal hung from her neck. Emily slid her hand along the ribbon holding the medal until her fingers brushed just below Kelley’s jaw. 

“I love you.” Emily said softly. Kelley smirked, gently tugging at Emily’s hand, which had traveled back down to the ribbon of her medal. 

“And I love you.” A pair of arms threw themselves around Emily from behind. 

“I’m going to gag if you two don’t cut it out.” Lindsey shouted. Kelley laughed, shuffling just an inch away, suddenly aware of the thousands of cameras following her and her teammates. 

“Oh stop it Linds.” Sonnett playfully brushed off the hug, feeling heat rising to her cheeks. 

“Hey, they’re gathering everyone for a team picture!” Tobin yelled at the group. She was grinning with a flag draped over her and Christen, who was leaning in with a matching smile. 

The team began to gather, waving and jumping in tune with the collection of chants being sung from the fans littering the stadium. They leaned into each other, throwing up number ones as they smiled. The cameras flashed. Lindsey tugged on Emily’s jersey. “I’m proud of you.” She said just loud enough for Emily to hear. 

Sonnett raised an eyebrow. “You deserve this more than anyone.” Lindsey landed a finger on Emily’s medal. “Seriously.” She emphasized. Emily grinned.

“Couldn’t have done it without you. Now stop being sappy and celebrate with me.” Lindsey chuckled, motioning in Kelley’s direction. 

“I think your girlfriend is way ahead of us.” Kelley held up two beers that she’d probably grabbed from the crowd. 

Emily bit back a laugh. “Yeah, let’s celebrate.”

~~~

Kelley’s kisses were sloppy and tasted like champagne. The air smelled of smoke from the sparklers and the music was a combination of classics and top hits on the radio. But Emily found herself unable to stop herself from smiling as Kelley awkwardly swayed her hips towards her, balancing two more drinks in her hands.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Emily said jokingly, taking one. Kelley pretended to be offended.

“Are you trying to stop me from having fun?” Emily pulled her in close. Their lips were inches apart.

“Never.” Kelley smirked, closing the gap.

“Good.” She whispered. 

Emily danced with Kelley. Their hands slid across each other. Their laughter added to the noise of the celebration. And Sonnett kept thinking over and over how her life felt like a dream. One that she swore she eventually wake up from only to be thrown in a bleak reality. Yet, here she was, dancing with the girl of her dreams, having just won her first Olympic medal, feeling the happiest she’d ever felt. This wasn’t a dream. It was her life. It wasn’t perfect. But it was damn near close.

“What’re you thinking of?” Kelley shouted before resuming her awkward dancing that made Sonnett laugh. She was thinking about the past year. Everything that had happened. It all seemed to lead to this moment. She would have never guessed this would be the end. And yet, she had somehow gathered the last of her luck to get here.

Emily turned to Kelley. Love was the first thing that came to her mind when she met Kelley’s eyes. Emily had always wondered if she’d ever know that feeling, but she was sure that this was it. Kelley cocked her head, making a face to acknowledge that Sonnett hadn’t answered her question.

Emily smiled softly. “Nothing.” 

“You sure?” Emily nodded, gently pulling Kelley closer to her.

“Kiss me?” 

Kelley rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to ask.”

With champagne on her lips and more celebrating to come, Emily let her thoughts melt away, allowing herself realize that maybe she did deserve a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Um, long time no see. Also this is probably the shortest, worst chapter of this entire work, but I owed it to everyone who read it to finish it. 
> 
> Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for reading. I was going back through some of your comments and it definitely inspired me to put together a little happy ending. I know it may not be much, but I hope you all like it. 
> 
> When I get more time on my hands, aka when school slows down and I'm actually on break I'm hoping to write another story. I've already got ideas in mind, but feel free to leave more ideas in the comments. You can also reach me at my tumblr: uswnt-among-other-things
> 
> I'm a little bit more active there than I am when it comes to writing. Anyways, happy epilogue, sorry it took me 6 months to get there!


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